


Like Real People Do

by amaradangeli



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Children, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 50,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5226074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaradangeli/pseuds/amaradangeli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam's family is struck by tragedy, her world is turned upside down. Jack steps in to be the support she didn't even know she needed. Together they navigate her new life and the possibility for something more.<br/><img/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've been bad about doing ANs lately on my stuff so I just wanted to take a moment to thank my awesome beta, Fems, for all her hard work and the amazing Samantha-Carter-is-my-muse for her beautiful art work for this fic.

 

Sam was fighting with the lock on her front door when her phone started ringing. The lock had been sticking for months, she just hadn't yet gotten around to fixing it. She wiggled the keys in the lock while the phone rang and then, suddenly, the keys turned and the door swung open. Leaving her keys dangling, she dashed to the phone.

She'd nearly missed his call. Every Sunday, at about four o'clock for the past year or so, her brother, Mark, called for a weekly check in. Sam snatched up the phone.

"Hello, I'm here!"

A mirthful chuckle greeted her. "Good, Sam. Hi. How are ya?"

"Good," she said. "Great. Just got in from the base."

"So that's what took you so long."

"The phone was already ringing when I got here," she confirmed.

She could practically feel him nodding. "So how are things in Colorado?"

"Quiet, if you can believe that." They were a little quiet. Quiet for her, anyway. Quiet if a teammate coming back from the dead and the destruction of a pretty nasty weapon counted as quiet. Which, yes, it bordered on quiet for her.

"Quiet? You were at work on a Sunday, Sam."

"My job's not a nine to five, you know that," she said a little peevishly. Mark still wasn't a big fan of the Air Force, even after all the years since their mother's death and their father's spiral into his work. Sam took a deep, calming breath. "How are things in California?"

"Hello?" Her sister-in-law, Angela, broke into the conversation.

"Hi, Angie."

"Hi Sam! How're you doing?"

"We did this part already," Mark ribbed his wife good-naturedly.

"Well, I was dealing with  _your_  daughter, so we can do it again."

"Uh-oh," Sam said, unaccustomed to the terseness in her sister-in-law's voice, "Is everything all right?"

"It's fine," Mark said.

"It's not fine," Angie countered. "You only think it's fine because she'll actually  _talk_  to  _you_  about it."

"Guys?" Sam said, not really wanting to be in the middle of whatever argument they were having. She went to retrieve her keys and shut the front door as they talked.

"Hannah's been having a little trouble getting along with some of the kids in her swim class," Angie explained. "And she got in a fight with one of the boys on Friday. Mark thinks it's  _no big deal_  because she'll talk to him, at least, about what's going on. But not to me. No, not to her mother," Angie groused, albeit relatively good naturedly considering. "I thought she was supposed to like me  _at least_  until she reached middle school.

"She does like you," he placated. "And at least she's talking."

"She's always been more willing to talk to men than to women," Angela conceded. "From her dad to her teachers."

"But everything's okay?" Sam asked to confirm.

"Sure, sure," Mark said easily. "Nothing a little cooling off time and some life experience won't cure."

Sam always got a pang of a little something unrecognizable when she brushed up against her brother's family life. Like, maybe she was missing something. Or like maybe there were things she didn't really understand.

"She's always gotten along with me," Sam pointed out, "but now that I think about it, she's never been overly talkative either."

"It's not just that she's quiet," Angie said, "it's that you're female. I really don't know what it is. But her counselor at school said that if she's closer with her dad then maybe she'd be more likely to bond better with the male authority figures in her life. And as long as she's behaving well, I'm fine with that. But not when she punches a boy in the stomach at the swimming pool," Angie said pointedly as if she'd said that very thing to Mark before.

They chatted a while longer about her niece and nephew, Ben, who was apparently very involved in and enjoying the Navigators group he was in which was, if Sam understood properly, similar to the Boy Scouts but, as Ben said into the phone when asked,  _way better._

"Ben is in to all things science this year," her brother said. "He's been asking to go to Space Camp in Texas, but we think he's still too young."

"He was crushed," Angela said, "and sulked the first three weeks of summer vacation until we found the Navigators."

Despite the long, intervening months, they discussed Thanksgiving. "How about it, sis?"

"Sorry," she said, "I just don't get enough time off and with the base on a lighter staff through the holiday season than we normally are, it's better if I'm close to home. But I will try to come out for Christmas."

"So," Mark asked her, "have you changed your mind about being set up with my friend in Denver?"

She thought a little about the cop Mark had been trying to get her to go out with. She didn't want to go out with the guy. Not even a little. "No, Mark. I'm perfectly capable of getting my own dates."

"I didn't say you weren't, I just thought you might like him."

"I'm sure he's a nice guy, it's just... not a good time." She wanted to kick herself for implying there might be a good time in the future because it meant she'd be having this conversation all over again in a couple of months.

She sighed and decided to jump into the part of the conversation that always made Mark a little quiet. "I spoke with dad earlier this week," a little white lie - but she'd promised her dad she'd keep up the pretense that they spoke regularly. "He says hello."

"What almost-retired general suddenly pulls a mission that keeps him out of contact with the family for months upon months at a time?" Mark groused predictably and not for the first time.

They talked a little bit about a possible trip over the summer so the kids could come out and visit, but they agreed to put a pin in it until Sam could better attest to her own schedule, which, as she warned them, was still likely to change at any time so perhaps it was better if she came to them. But Angie wouldn't hear it.

"It'll be nice for the kids to get out of Southern California for a while. To maybe experience some weather."

"Summer in Colorado is rather uneventful. You want weather you should bring them out for Christmas sometime."

They chatted about this and that for nearly twenty minutes of normalcy that Sam was still getting used to even after a year. It still felt strange to relate to her brother this way, like they were close. Though in all reality these days she probably could consider herself close to her brother. And it felt good to be a part of someone else's life, someone else's plans.

As they chatted, she mused about how their lives, though busy, always sounded so simple. Simple in a way that made her wonder if that's what people really wanted. Sure, there were schedules to coordinate, kids to wrangle, a home to manage... the myriad other things that went along with life as a family of four, but at the end of the day, to her standards it seemed more un-complicated than, say, saving the world. Again.

When they said goodbye she booted up her laptop. She had five, maybe six hours of work ahead of her. Par for the course on a Sunday evening, not that she minded. Running gate simulations was actually her idea of a fun and stimulating activity. Sure, she sometimes got a pang of something-missing when she talked to her brother, but really, she wouldn't change her life.

At twenty-three hundred she'd hit a snag that meant she had to either quit or wait for an hour for a program tweak to download. She was sorely tempted to head to bed part of her was anxious to find out how the change would work. She was tired enough to call it a night, but excited enough to push through. So she cranked up the stereo and put on a pot of coffee. She'd just suffer through tomorrow - they weren't on the mission roster anyway.

She thought again of her brother's life. He was probably kicked back, watching Letterman. She was rocking out to Deep Purple and contemplating astrophysics.

No, she liked complicated just fine.


	2. Chapter 1

They didn't happen often, nights when all four members of SG-1 got together on-world, and they rarely happened at one of their houses, but somehow they'd all ended up at Daniel's with three times as much Japanese takeout as they had any real need for. That was the kind of thing that happened when Teal'c placed the orders.

"Don't you have any good beer?" the colonel was asking with his head stuck in the refrigerator.

"I've got a good IPA microbrew," Daniel offered but the colonel just muttered about  _fancy beer_  and snagged two cans of Diet Coke out of the fridge.

He pressed one of the cold cans into Sam's hand as he passed by her in the living room. They had the food all spread out between them on the coffee table and Sam, Daniel and Teal'c sat on the floor while the colonel perched on the edge of the couch and groused about how the three of them could fold themselves up the way they did. Sam pushed a container of noodles his way with the tip of her chopsticks and smiled behind her drink can.

It had been a while since she'd been in a relaxed setting with him and it felt almost like the old days, before they'd grown somewhat stilted with one another, teammates, sure, but the little spark between them faded when it wasn't carefully protected. Nights like this, though, made her aware that though the spark had faded it hadn't gone out completely, not when he could still make her smile the way only he seemed to be able to, with a quick bitch and a grimace about old knees but with a smile in his eyes.

"What is this stuff?" the colonel asked peering across the table at the array of food.

"It is Tappan, O'Neill."

"I think he ordered one of everything," Daniel teased.

"I did not."

"We're going to have leftovers for days," Sam said.

"No,  _Daniel's_  going to have leftovers for days," the colonel said.

"You guys should really take some of this home with you."

"I'm not home enough to take leftovers home," Sam said as her cell phone rang. "See? That's probably the base now." She pushed up off the floor and retrieved her cell phone from the arm of Daniel's easy chair. She stepped into the kitchen to better hear her phone conversation since the guys were still discussing what to do with the leftovers of the meal they'd barely started eating. "Carter," she said into the handset.

"Samantha Carter?" a woman asked.

"Yes," Sam said, now sure it wasn't the base and wishing she'd checked the caller ID before she answered.

"Ms. Carter, this is Ella Pope, I'm with the California Children and Family Services Division."

Sam's stomach dropped to her feet and the few bites of Japanese food threatened to make a sudden reappearance. There could only be one reason she'd be getting a call from California Children and Family Services.

"Ms. Carter?" Ella asked when Sam had apparently been quiet for too long.

"Yes," she said, by rote, "I'm here." She could hear herself speaking as if she were standing at one end of a tunnel but listening from the other. In the living room she could still hear Daniel talking but he sounded miles away.

"Your niece and nephew said you were their only family except...a grandfather? But they don't know how to reach him."

"Hannah and Ben?" She struggled to make sense of what was being said even though she already knew why she was talking to Ella Pope. "Yes, I'm their aunt. My father is... out of town."

"Ms. Carter, I'm sorry to be the one who has to tell you, but the children's parents were killed in an automobile accident last night."

"Last night?!" she heard the sharpness in her own voice, heard the way the living room went silent, heard the unmistakable footsteps of her commanding officer as he came to stand behind her in the kitchen's doorway.

"We're sorry, Ms. Carter, it takes a while, sometimes, to get everything in order when there are children involved."

"I... no... It's okay... I mean, it's not okay, but I understand..."

"Carter?" she heard from behind her.

The slight worry in his voice made tears spring to her eyes. She was fine, sort of, until that moment, even though she'd known her brother was dead since Ella Pope had introduced herself.

"Ms. Carter, about the children—"

"I'll come right out," she interrupted.

"That would probably be for the best. They were with a babysitter last night until the social worker picked them up. They're at our facility now."

"I can be there in," she stupidly looked at her watch, "I don't know. I'll... I'll have to get a flight."

"I'll give you my phone numbers, Ms. Carter, you can stay in touch."

Sam scrambled around Daniel's kitchen for a blank piece of paper and from over her shoulder the colonel's good pen appeared. She scribbled down the numbers Ella Pope rambled off and then said goodbye. She flipped her phone closed then stared at it for a moment.

"You need a flight?" she heard from behind her.  _Close_  behind her. She spun towards his voice and found herself just inches from him. She stared at the wall of his chest for a moment, considered tucking herself up against him, suddenly not sure why they'd put any emotional space between them at all. Instead, she took a careful step backwards and the countertop bit into her lower back.

"My brother's dead."

He sucked in a breath. "Jesus."

"And the kids are with..."

"His wife, too?"

"Yeah," she exhaled. "… The kids are with the department of children and families..."

"Look, you call the airport," he said, "and I'll call the General."

The General. Right. She hadn't even thought that far ahead. She was stuck on  _plane. California._ "Sir, you don't have to—"

"Sam," he said authoritatively, "call the airport."

The sound of her name, her familiar name, on his lips after years of not hearing it gave her pause. She attributed that pause mostly to the mounting shock of the last few minutes, but the comfort of the gesture wasn't lost on her.

She bought a ticket on the first flight hour, leaving her three hours of time to kill. He drove her home so she could pack a bag. She'd had a moment at her house, between packing her bag and waiting for the colonel to drive her to the airport, when she'd lost her composure.

"I can't believe this is happening," she said, standing in the middle of her living room. She was dismayed to find tears running down her face. "He's really gone. And Angie, too." She tremulously gasped for breath. "I can't believe it." She shook her head and buried her face in her hands.

She felt, then, his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, now," he said quietly. "Hey, Sam." When she looked up at him and met his soft eyes he said, "C'mere."

She sank into strength of him. His tall, solid body pressed against her. His arms wound around her. His nose tucked into her neck. She could feel his easy exhalations against her skin and it calmed her, soothed her, until her tears dried up. It felt right to be held against him, not like things had felt between them for so long now, no distant, not difficult. He squeezed her tight and held her for another long moment until she pressed her arms tight around him, too, then he released her.

Two hours later, he put her on a plane.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

She met Ella Pope in standard government building. "Thank you for coming so quickly," the young woman said and shifted a clipboard from her right hand to her left so she could shake hands with Sam. "The children will be glad to see you."

They were. Hannah flew into Sam's arms, a bundle of tears and snot and sharp words. Ben stood off to the side, hugging a stuffed teddy bear and looking lost. Sam beckoned him over with one arm and he tucked himself into her side next to his sister with a whimper.

"It's okay," Sam said, rubbing their little backs, "I'm here now."

"I want to go home. Now." Hannah said as assertively as her eleven-year-old, tearful voice would allow.

"I'm going to need you to sign some paperwork," Ella prompted when Sam met her eyes.

"Of course," Sam said and extricated herself from the embraces of her niece and nephew.

It was alarmly easy to take custody of the children – just a signature on a piece of paper and a grainy copy of her driver's license. Ella told her that the department would be in touch to ensure everything was going smoothly with the children and then, they were free to go.

In the cab, Hannah was sullen. "The police came to the house and they took us to that place. We had to spend the night there with a bunch of other kids."

"I'm sorry," Sam said, unsure what was the truly appropriate thing to say in such a circumstance. She felt ill-equipped to handle the entire situation and wished, fervently, for her brother or sister-in-law to tell her what she was supposed to be doing for their children.

"We probably owe Becky money," Hannah said idly.

"Who's Becky?"

"The sitter. The police made her mom come and get her."

"Oh." Sam figured they probably did owe the girl some money, but she found she didn't quite care. Sam looked over at Hannah in the dark. The streetlights cast her face in flashes of yellow light that highlighted tears on her cheeks, but her voice was strong. The girl had had to be strong, Sam supposed, for her little brother. "I'll take care of things now," Sam reassured, but Hannah's face didn't lose it's resolve.

"I guess you're going to have to."

Sam looked over at Ben and saw him slumped, asleep, against the window of the cab. She reached out and tucked an errant strand of hair behind his ear. He slumbered on.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam pushed open the door to her brother's house, the kids ambled in before her slowly, unsurely, as if they expected their mother and father to appear if they were just careful enough. The house looked exactly as she remembered it: lived in. There was her brother's suit jacket thrown over the stair railing, a pair of Angie's high heels were kicked off by the door. They were things obviously meant to get back to. She swallowed heavily against the wave of emotion that rolled up into her throat.

The California Children and Family Services Division apparently felt like she was responsible enough to look after the children until the family court could decide their ultimate fate. Sam knew that somewhere in the house were documents requesting she be named the children's guardian. It wasn't necessarily that she was the best choice, she mused, it was that she was the only choice. Angie's parents were gone; Mark's were... gone and sort of gone. Sam was the only sibling. Her first order of business was to find that paperwork.

"Aunt Sam," little Ben said from in front of her, "I'm hungry."

"Me too," Hannah, joined in.

Okay, her  _first_ order of business was to get the kids a late — a very late as it was nearing midnight — snack. After that she'd look for the paperwork.

In the kitchen she found the remains of a pizza dinner shared between the babysitter and the kids. She threw the box away and found bread, peanut butter and jelly and made up three sandwiches. She got the kids settled in with the food and some milk, a combination she'd seen her sister-in-law give them several times over. As she was standing at the kitchen counter eating her own sandwich her cell phone buzzed.

A text message from the colonel —  _Everything okay there?_

She put down her sandwich, wiped the crumbs off her hands and texted him back.  _For now. I've got the kids._

He returned with —  _Need anything?_

She thought about it.  _Get in touch with dad?_

 _Already contacted the T. They're locating him. —_ was his reply.

 _Thank you._ She was relieved to know that at least one thing had been taken care of.  _I'm going to get the kids off to bed._

_Call me when you're done._

Her chest tightened. She  _really_  wanted to call him. She wanted to call him at that very moment, just to hear the soothing sound of his voice. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to want him so close. She hadn't allowed it in so long. She thought about his arms around her, earlier in the day, ached to have him close. Felt small and out of her depth without her commanding officer there to call the shots. Felt so many things that were unhelpful.

In the wake of her brother's death she felt her oh-so-important walls begin to crumble down.

 _Sam?_ Came the next text message.

She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to tell him yes. She wanted to put him off until the next day so she didn't seem needy. She wanted to not seem weak. She wanted to not  _be_ weak. So she texted back neither a denial nor an acquiescence.  _It's late._

 _I don't care._  Came back immediately.

"Aunt Sam?" Hannah asked, her voice was droopy and tired.

"Yeah?" Sam said dropping the phone on the counter next to her barely touched sandwich.

"I'm done."

"Me too," Ben said.

"Do you two think you can sleep?" Both kids looked like they were both still barely awake.

"I want to sleep in mom and dad's room," the normally mature-beyond-her-years girl said.

"Me too," Ben agreed.

Sam sighed. She couldn't think of a reason to say no so she told them it was fine. It took twenty minutes to get the kids shepherded off and tucked into their parents bed. More than a few tears were shed and Sam felt unprepared to handle the grief of the two children even though she could acutely recall that same grief herself. The tension of not knowing quite what to say or do gathered in her neck and shoulders.

By the time they were down she was less willing to go on a hunt for important papers and more than ready to place a late night phone call.

The phone barely rang once before he picked it up. "How're you doing?"

She sighed. "Fine."

"Carter," he drawled her name.

"Okay, not fine."

He murmured soothing words at her and she felt the tension drain away.

She collapsed onto the couch. "The kids are sleeping. In Mark and Angie's bed. I don't know if—"

"It's fine."

"It doesn't feel fine."

"Whatever they need to do is what you do."

"What if I screw up?"

"You're going to screw up, Carter."

"Thanks."

"I meant," he sighed heavily, "we all screw up. You just do the best you can."

"Somewhere in this house are documents telling the court that Mark and Angie want me to have the kids."

He didn't answer for a moment. "Okay."

"Okay? I can't..." What? Raise two kids? Raise two kids alone? Raise two kids alone while working at the SGC?

"Yes, you can."

"Any word from dad?" she deflected.

"Not yet, but they're going to call me as soon as he checks in if I'm not on base."

"I'm going to need him here. I just... I'm..."

"Carter, we'll get him there."

"I'm going to have to plan a funeral. And he should be here."

"Yeah."

"And I'm going to have to go to court and... I...  _Sir."_ Her voice broke. She was suddenly overwhelmed. Her only sibling was dead. She was responsible for his two kids. She had to face a funeral and court. And at the moment she didn't feel anything at all like the capable Air Force Major she was. All she felt was the weight of possibly raising two children on her own.

"You don't have to do any of it alone, Sam."

 _If only,_ she thought, then figured she'd better change the subject. "What if the Tok'ra can't find him in time? How long am I supposed to make the kids wait?"

"Worry about that when you have to."

"I have to now!" she said hotly then remembered she was talking to her commanding officer. "Sorry, sir." When he didn't say anything, just made a low, rumbling sound, she said, "I should go."

"Can you sleep?"

"I don't know."

"Call if you need to."

"Yeah," she said, suddenly exhausted.

"'Night, Sam."

"Goodnight, sir." She waited a beat, listened to his deep, even breathing, then hung up the phone.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Her brother's home office was uncharacteristically immaculate and meticulously organized. She'd never known her brother to care one way or the other about where things went and Angie wasn't really the organized type either so she didn't know who to thank for the easily found  _Will & Power of Attorney _file.

She flipped open the will and, just as she and her brother had discussed — back when she was far more concerned something would happen to her than she was that something would happen to both Mark and Angie at the same time — there was her name as the intended guardian for the children.

She remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. He'd explained they had no other family and, while they had good friends, they felt like the kids would be better off with her where they'd have the stability of family. He'd asked her if she'd consider it and she'd said yes without hesitation. It was something that was never going to happen, of course she'd said yes.

And then, less than two years later, it did happen. She understood how it worked, he'd explained that, too. She'd have to call the attorney who would file the will with the court. The court would then decide whether or not Sam was fit to be the guardian of the children and, if they agreed with Mark and Angie, then she'd be granted the kids. Then, she'd have to file with the courts in Colorado to have her guardianship recognized there as well. It was a process of events that had to go just right, really, to ensure that her brother's wishes were carried out.

She took a deep breath and as she exhaled she felt her eyes prick with tears. She yearned for the comfort of the colonel's embrace, but the tears that fell, fell on her alone. She could hear cartoons in the living room, and the tears flowed faster, tears for those kids who had lost their parents, tears for herself because she was so clueless about what to do next and how to be what they needed. She cried sad, frightened and overwhelmed tears, something she rarely let herself do and then, abruptly, her tears stopped. She could feel her father's voice inside her telling her to pull herself up. So, she did.

She collected the paperwork and left it on the center of the desk blotter, readily accessible for when the attorney called back. She ducked into the powder room to wash her face before rejoining the kids in the living room where they were watching some garishly colored cartoon she'd never seen before.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack waited until long after he figured the kids would be in bed to call her. He was glad he did, but she sounded tired while they swapped hellos.

"We heard from the Tok'ra. They got word to your dad and he'll be here in two days," he told her

"Well, I guess that means I can plan the funeral now. I called today to start the arrangements, but there's not much I could do beyond relaying Mark and Angie's wishes since I didn't know about dad."

"I thought I would bring him out to California."

"You don't need to—"

"I know I don't  _need_  to."

"But what about the mission roster?"

"We're on stand down until we know more about what's going on with you."

"I don't know how long I'm going to be gone right now. It depends on how long I have to stay in California with the kids."

"So, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Daniel must be going crazy."

"Daniel will get farmed out like he always does. He won't have a chance to go crazy."

"And you?"

"Catching up on paperwork, Major," he said then rolled his eyes when he made the allusion to her rank. Good one, Jack. If ever there was a time to see if you two could deconstruct the walls a little, this was it. And rank wasn't helping.

"If the courts do grant me guardianship of the kids, I don't think I can..." she trailed off but he didn't need her to say it. He knew what she was worried about. If she got guardianship of the kids, could she really keep going through the gate? What if something happened to her? Then they'd really be alone.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," he said again. "Just... one thing at a time, okay, Carter?"

"I can't just turn off my brain," she huffed.

"I'm telling you, you've got enough on your plate without worry about things that haven't happened yet. You're going to wear yourself out."

"I'm already worn out," she said with a sigh. "It was a long day. The kids seem okay, but sometimes they're not. Hannah's taking it hard and has withdrawn so much she barely talks to me unless she's trying to be in charge of something. Ben, well, I'm not sure he understands exactly what all this means..."

"Stop thinking about it all for a while."  _And talk to me,_ he wanted to say.

"I told you, I can't turn off my brain."

"You should go to bed, try to get some rest."

"Too tired," she said and he could hear her snuggling down on what was probably the couch.

"Sam," he admonished lowly, "don't sleep on the couch."

"Why not?" she asked, in a gravelly voice that did funny things to his insides. Things that reminded him of the way he used to feel about her all the time before he put a lid on it and tried to move on. "I did last night."

"Aren't there beds in that place?"

"Yep," she said, then more of the snuggly sound.

He chuckled and smiled fondly since she couldn't see him. "Go. Sleep."

"Okay."

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Hmm," she hummed, already half asleep. "Okay."

"'Night, Sam."

"'Night," she said and then the call disconnected. He grinned. She hadn't called him  _sir_  even once.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next day she told the kids the funeral would be the upcoming Saturday.

"Will mommy and daddy be there?" Ben asked and it broke Sam's heart. She'd suspected he didn't fully understand what it meant that they were dead.

"The funeral is  _for_  mom and dad," Hannah pointed out gently and put her small arm around her brother's shoulders. "Remember? They died in a car accident."

"Oh," Ben said quietly. "Yeah. I remember."

Hannah turned an almost superior gaze on Sam. "Is grandpa going to be here?"

"Yeah, grandpa will be here," Sam said. Sam wasn't sure why Hannah seemed more intent on her grandfather than she was on Sam herself and suddenly, Sam was worried about how things might play out with the judge. What if the Hannah didn't want to live with Sam? What then?

"Listen," she started, "I want to talk to you two about something." She had the kids full attention and she supposed it had something to do with the weight in her voice. "Your mom and dad and I talked about what would happen to the two of you if something ever happened to them and we decided it would be best for you if you came to live with me." She paused and gave the kids time to digest the idea. "What do you think about that?"

"So we'd have to move to Colorado?" Hannah asked, nonplussed.

"Yes."

"I don't want to leave California."

"I understand," Sam said. "But you know how I'm in the Air Force?" The kids nodded. "The Air Force tells me where in the world I live and where my job is. And right now, my job is in Colorado."

"Does that mean we might have to move somewhere else one day?" Hannah asked.

"Maybe," Sam said with a nod.

"Can you get a new job here?" Ben asked her.

"Not without leaving the Air Force."

"Can you leave the Air Force?" Hannah asked.

Sam's initial reaction was strong and she tried to keep it as internal as possible instead of shouting  _NO!_  like she wanted to. The closest truth would have to do. "Not right now. The work I do is very important." Sam took a deep breath and then continued. "We're going to have to go see a judge who is going to ask us all a bunch of questions about you coming to live with me."

"Like what?" Ben asked.

"I'm not sure," Sam said honestly. "I think they're just going to want us all to answer as honestly as possible. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes," Ben said solemnly.

"Hannah?"

"Yeah," the girl said sullenly. "But I really don't want to leave California. All my friends are here! And I don't want to leave this house."

Sam could understand that. "I know you don't. I remember feeling that way when my mom died. Like if I left the house I'd be leaving her."

"Yeah," Hannah said softly.

Sam laid a comforting hand on Hannah's shoulder. "But we don't leave them behind, we take them with us in our memories." She hoped that would be enough for the kids because if they were adamant about not wanting to leave California, she had no idea what would happen.

"I don't want just my memories," Hannah said, shook off Sam's hand and stood up. "I want mom and dad and everything to go back to normal!" The girl fled from the room and up the stairs.

Sam could understand the sentiment.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack settled back into his chair and dialed Sam's cell phone. It was almost twenty-three hundred her time but the late night phone calls seemed to work for her.

The phone rang two, maybe three times before she picked it up, the flood of relief in her voice was evident as she said, "I'm glad you called."

It made him feel all warm inside when she used that tone of voice on him. "Me too. You sound like you've had a long day."

"Attorneys, funeral home, kids," she listed off, "it's been... a lot. When is dad coming in?"

"Tomorrow, sometime on Tok'ra time, so I'm not sure. We'll get the first flight out that doesn't have us knocking on your door in the middle of the night," he reassured her. He'd been jonesing to put his eyes on her since she'd left Colorado, especially when he could hear the strain in her voice each night.

"I'd be okay with the middle of the night," she said tiredly.

He wondered idly if she realized she was talking to him like he was just a man and not her CO. Probably not, considering the amount of stress she was under. But he liked it so he didn't remind her of his rank unnecessarily as he had the day before. "Still," he said, "we'll come at a decent hour."

"The kids were asking about him today. They'll be glad to see him."

He hummed his agreement. "Good words from the attorneys today?"

"I think so. But I won't really know more until we get to sit down with the judge. It's..."

"What?"

"What if the judge doesn't think I'm good enough?"

"You? Not good enough?"

"What if it matters that I'm single and in the military?"

He wanted to reassure her that that wouldn't be the case, but he'd had too much experience with judges siding with non-military spouses in divorce cases to blow off her concerns so easily. "You're the only family those kids have," he said instead. "That's got to count for something."

"That's not quite reassuring," she returned.

"It's the best I've got."

She sighed heavily. "I know." She took a few deep, even breaths and he waited. "Hannah asked me if I'd leave the Air Force."

"Would you?"

"No!" she exclaimed. Then, "I don't know. Anyway, she said later she didn't want me to.  _I_  don't want to. I don't want to leave the program."

She said program, he heard SG-1, the truth was she probably meant gate travel, but he was afraid he knew that that was exactly what getting custody of those kids meant. "You might have to make some changes."

"I know," she said again. "I don't even want to think about it right now."

"You've got time."

"Not too much, but yeah, I do."

"We'll figure it out." And he meant it. He meant that he'd help her figure out how to handle all the things that came next.

"I'm so tired."

"Go sleep in a bed tonight, huh?"

"Call me when dad gets in?"

"You got it."

"Okay. Thank you."

"'Night, Carter."

"Good night, sir."

He hung up the phone before he could get sucked into listening to her breathe. Carter's breathing had always been able to tell him a lot about her state of mind. But he didn't need to hear it to know she was overwhelmed. Rather than think more about what life would look like with her off SG-1 - and it wasn't all bad, if he were entirely honest with himself - he pushed himself out of his chair and headed for bed. He'd pack a bag in the morning. He needed to get Jacob out there, hell, he needed to get himself out there, as soon as possible.


	3. Chapter 2

The next morning, Sam was on the phone with the SGC before the kids were even out of bed. She was surprised, really, that she'd had so many days without a phone call about the state of the gate or one of the running experiments on alien technology. It felt good. It felt like the first normal thing she'd done since her brother had died. It felt like the life she loved and it made her feel guilty that she was enjoying herself so much when, upstairs, there were two kids whose lives were in shambles and who were counting on her to make the necessary adjustments to give their lives a little clarity again.

She hadn't been off the phone twenty minutes when her cell rang again. "Carter."

"Hey, kiddo. How're you holding up?"

Her eyes immediately filled with tears. "Oh, dad..." Suddenly, she couldn't contain her grief, the feelings of being overwhelmed, and her extreme exhaustion.

"Hey, hey now," he soothed but she couldn't get ahold of herself. "It's okay," he finally said, "you're going to be okay."

"When... when can you be here?"

"Jack's getting us the first tickets out. He said you were doing okay." His voice sounded accusatory and she could imagine the colonel standing in front of her father, on the receiving end of his death glare.

"I was," she hiccuped. "I am. It's just... it's really good to hear your voice and... and I'm so sorry about Mark."

"Okay, sweetheart. Yeah, me too. How're the kids?"

"I don't really know. They're quiet about it, mostly. Ben doesn't seem to understand sometimes and Hannah barely talks to me."

"It'll take some time for them to come to terms with this."

"It's going to take some time for me, too," she said tearily.

"Listen, Sam, you sure you want both of us out there? I can come out alone and-" in the background she could hear the colonel's voice but not what he was saying. Her dad came back on the line. "Nevermind. Jack's just told me in no uncertain terms he was coming along."

"That's fine." And it was. She was looking forward to her dad's arrival as well as the colonel's.

"Okay, I'm going to go now, before Jack shoots me with one more evil look for tying up the phone. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Okay, dad. See you soon."

They hung up just as Hannah was coming down the stairs.

"That was grandpa," Sam told her. "He's on his way out."

"When will he be here?'

"Today sometime."

"Oh, thank goodness," the girl said.

Sam could appreciate the sentiment, even if the vigor with which it was stated stung a little.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Her dad and the colonel had arrived around eighteen hundred and the kids immediately seemed happier. Ben thought his grandfather hung the moon - always had - and Hannah was instantly enamored with the colonel. Sam couldn't blame her and honestly, by the time the men arrived, Sam was just happy to have something around that gave Hannah a little bit of her spark back. She didn't even have the will to have her feelings hurt over it.

The kids went to bed around nine and the colonel made himself scarce to the backyard with his cell phone and gave her a little time alone with her dad. She sat next to him on the couch with his arm slung around her shoulders.

"How're you really holding up? And Sam, don't tell me you're fine. I can tell you're not."

"I guess I'm a little overwhelmed. In the last two days I've spent hours on the phone with two attorneys who can tell me little more than to file the paperwork and wait. The funeral home has been great but we're going to have to get over there tomorrow and finalize the plans for the service on Saturday. The kids... Hannah treats me like I'm the last person on Earth she wants to be with and Ben seems so confused and I don't know what to do to help him.

"It's been hard to keep the kids occupied. Ben wants to be with Hannah all the time and she's been as good about it as you can expect, but she doesn't want to be doing anything in particular. Then I disappear to take a phone call and I come back and they're watching television and it seems like that's all they do. But I don't want to push and I don't know  _how_  to push in a way that isn't going to make them hate me more."

"Wow," he said with a low whistle.

"Yeah."

"You know those kids don't hate you."

"I'm out of my league, dad."

"You'll figure it out."

"But how do I not make this harder for them in the meantime?"

"Honey, it's going to be hard. There's nothing you can do about that. And the three of you are going to have to find your way."

"I'm terrified the judge isn't going to let me have them and they're going to end up in foster care," she said in a small voice.

While she waited on her father to speak she heard the colonel come in the back door and find a beer in the fridge but he didn't come into the living room.

"What did the attorney say?"

"That California usually does what the parents wanted done."

He must have known what she was worried about because he said, "You have a non-combat cover story, Sam. You wouldn't be the first single military parent and that's still got to be better than the Foster Care system that's already overworked.

"I hope you're right."

"I'm right," he said definitively. "And I'm also tired."

Sam settled her dad into the guest room for the night but she wasn't quite sure what to do with the colonel. She'd been sleeping on the couch and then in the guest room. That left her brother and Angie's room as the only vacant bed and she wasn't sure she wanted to sleep in there.

"Sit down, take a load off," the colonel said from the place he'd appropriated on the couch when she and her father had gotten up. Sam plopped down next to him. "Everyone off to bed?"

"Yes," she said tiredly. She leaned her head back against the couch and encountered his arm, but she was too tired to care.

"You haven't been sleeping."

"Not really," she found herself admitting. "I get to sleep but then something wakes me up and I start thinking."

"What did I tell you about thinking?" He shifted his forearm underneath her head and jostled her up his arm towards his shoulder.

"Something about stopping." She turned her head until she could rest her cheek on the soft material of the shirt covering his bicep. He was close like this, she could see the day's stubble on his jaw, each individual hair.

He curled his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer until her head rested in the hollow of his shoulder and she was contemplating the way his chest hair was visible at the open collar of his shirt. It looked soft, like something she should touch. In front of them, the television droned lowly, tuned into some twenty-four hour news network. Her eyes slipped closed. She breathed him in, the warm, familiar scent of him bringing her peace for the first time in days.

She rested against him for long moments until a commercial came on, its louder and bright flashing pulling her out of her stupor. She shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be so close to him. It wasn't appropriate, even under the circumstances. She moved to sit up, to pull herself away from him, but he anchored her to him with the hand thrown over her shoulder. "Stop thinking," he said quietly.

She wasn't sure that was possible until she drifted off to sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack awoke the next morning when he felt a pair of eyes on him. Jacob was standing between the coffee table and the television, his sharp eyes taking in the sight of Jack sprawled out, with his feet up on the coffee table. Jack took stock of Sam and found her head still on his shoulder, one hand on his chest and her knees pulled up and tipped over onto his thigh.

Jacob tilted his head to the side then spoke quietly, "Did she sleep through the night?"

"Yeah," Jack said, voice rough from disuse.

Jacob nodded once. "Good." Then the older man ambled out of the room.

Jack heard the sounds of coffee being made then, minutes later, the smell of the coffee permeated the room. Sam began to stir against him. First her hand made a broad stroke over his chest then her face tucked into his neck. He could feel her lips against his skin. She stretched her long legs out one at a time as she came fully awake.

She stiffened against him. "Sir," she said quietly.

He smoothed a hand down her arm, tried to quiet the fear that she'd done something wrong, he could hear it in her voice.

Still, she sat up, taking the warmth of her body with her. "I meant to-"

"Don't worry about it." Though he wasn't sure what she meant to do. Go to bed? He'd scoped out the house. The only room left had been her brother's and he knew she wouldn't have wanted to sleep in there. Wouldn't have wanted to put him in there either. That left the couch for both of them. And maybe it hadn't been exactly regulatory to spend the night on the couch curled up with his second in command, but he couldn't shake the notion that her position as his second was merely a formality at this point.

He'd done a fair job of distancing himself from her over the course of the past couple of years. They'd been careful. Too careful. And the easy familiarity between them, the delicious heat, had cooled to the point he wasn't sure what they were to one another anymore or if they were even waiting for a time when things would be different. And then, everything had changed in the blink of an eye. She might still be his second but she was also a woman who was hurting, a woman he had strong feelings for. A woman he loved, whether he wanted to admit it to himself or not, after all the wall building he'd done.

And now she was, potentially, the caretaker of two young children. He knew what would happen. He knew what had to happen. He'd thought of little more than what life would look like with Sam off his team and he'd admit that there were real possibilities laid out in front of them. A sudden lack of necessity for those walls they'd carefully built between them. He knew he still felt strongly for her and he suspected she still felt the same for him, even if she'd tried as hard as he had to hide it from herself.

Jacob walked back into the room, jarring Jack from his reverie. He carried two cups of coffee. "You take it black?"

"Yeah, dad," Sam murmured. "I do."

"Jack?"

"With sugar," Sam continued.

Jack tried not to smile, but failed pretty miserably. "But I'll take it the way you brought it," Jack cut in.

Jacob handed over the cups. "You're looking a little more rested, sweetheart," he observed.

Jack watched as her cheeks stained a pretty pink. "Yeah." She took a sip of her coffee. "Are the kids up yet?"

"It's just past six."

"So I'm guessing that's a no," Jack replied. "Are the Tok'ra early risers?"

"Dad's always been."

"Air Force," Jack and Jacob said at the same time.

Sam looked back and forth between them then granted them a small smile. "I'm going to take a shower."

"You do that." Jacob said and sat down in the easy chair off to the side of the couch. Once she was gone Jacob leveled a gaze at Jack. "I hope you know what you're doing, son."

Jack took a long sip of his coffee. "I'm not doing anything."

"She's vulnerable right now."

"I'm not doing anything," Jack reiterated.

"Well," Jacob said after a long moment, "that's just damned disappointing."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She's going to need someone, Jack, and I'm not going to be able to stay."

Jack wasn't quite sure what Jacob wanted out of him. "I'm not going anywhere."

The older man studied Jack long and hard. "Good."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam stood under the hot spray, her legs shaking under the enormous weight of her feelings. She shouldn't have spent the night curled up to the colonel the way she had. She hadn't intended to, though where she'd have slept she didn't know. Perhaps the easy chair. But not in his arms, tucked against his body. And yet, she'd slept through the night for the first time since Mark and Angie's death. She wasn't a romantic enough to fully attribute that to his presence, but she figured it hadn't hurt.

She wasn't naïve enough, either, to believe that she was the only one who had been constructing walls between them and she was impressed that he'd willingly deconstructed those walls so quickly. It was clear he intended to be a source of strength for her and she was both glad and a little afraid. She wasn't sure what things looked like in her life if she wasn't separated from Jack O'Neill by the bounds they'd so purposefully set in place.

There were things she wanted from him she didn't know how to ask for. Things she wasn't sure he was prepared to give her anyway, even if he did bridge the gap between them as effortlessly as it appeared. To say she wanted Jack O'Neill was a severe understatement, even if she had spent the better part of two years hiding from her own feelings. And she suspected he still wanted her too. But what did that really look like in the bright light of day?

And was the artificial nature of the breaking down of the walls enough to really give them a fair shot? Because without the sudden tragedy in her life she was certain they would have continued along the same path they'd been on until the thing that was between them had been beaten down to death.

She grabbed her shampoo and began to wash her hair.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack stayed with the kids while Sam and her father went off to the funeral home to finish planning the service. That also meant he ended up manning the phone. It had been ringing off the hook since the obituaries had appeared in the morning paper.

Jack thanked each caller, reassured them that the family didn't need anything and reiterated the funeral details. Over and over.

Hannah shadowed him around the kitchen, listening in to the phone calls, one after the other.

"A lot of people have called," she observed midmorning.

"Your parents had a lot of friends," Jack agreed.

"Why do you keep telling people we don't need anything?"

"What do we need?"

"I don't know. We need things to go back to normal. We need my mom and dad!" the young girl exploded and then crumpled into tears.

Jack didn't know what to do for her but he gathered her into a hug nonetheless. He expected her to shy away from him, despite the fact that she'd seemed to take a liking to him right away. But, instead she clung to him and cried her little eyes out against his ribs. He wished Jacob or Sam were there to comfort the girl as he felt out of his depth holding her through her onslaught of pain. He didn't know how or why she trusted him, a relative stranger, enough to cling to him. He was glad, though, that he was there if this was what she needed. It broke his heart a little to hear her gasping sobs.

That was how Sam and Jacob found them when they returned.

"What happened?" Sam wanted to know immediately. Hannah just cried harder and clung more aggressively to Jack.

"Just a bad moment," Jack said quietly. He could see the unsurity on Sam's face. Jack exchanged a glance with Jacob who made a motion for the girl. Jack gently passed her off to her grandfather who shushed her and rocked her back and forth as he held her.

Sam sighed. "I knew it was coming."

Jack herded her onto the back porch.

"I knew it was coming and she wouldn't do it with me."

"Sam-"

"No, it's okay," she said, sounding resigned. "I'm glad you were here. She liked you immediately."

"She likes you, too."

"I'm not so sure about that." Her chin trembled with emotion.

Jack pulled another Carter woman into his arms, this one more familiar. "She's hurting right now."

"I know that," Sam said into his shoulder. "And I don't know how to help her. She won't  _let_ me help her. What if she tells the judge she doesn't want me? What then?"

"I don't think she gets to choose, Carter."

"They're going to think I'm unfit."

He rubbed a hand up and down her back to soothe her. "No, they're not. You're capable and you're a good choice."

She exhaled roughly against him. "I hope you're right."


	4. Chapter 3

Jack awoke from his doze on the couch. He checked his watch and saw that it was past zero two hundred. He was unsure what woke him until he heard the shifting of a body in one of the dining room chairs. He got up to investigate.

He found Sam bent over the table, pushing a pen across a piece of paper slowly as if whatever words she was looking for just wouldn't come. He pulled out the chair across from her and sat down before she looked up.

"Oh," she said softly. "Did I wake you?"

She may have, but it didn't matter. "Whatcha working on?"

She sighed heavily. "The eulogy." She gestured with the hand that was holding the pen. "It would be easier to type it, but it didn't feel right. But it's coming out all wrong and I end up scribbling out more than I keep and... it's a mess."

"You've got time."

"It doesn't feel like there's enough time in the world to write this," she said as if making a confession.

His fingers itched to reach for the paper, to see what she'd written, but he allowed her her privacy. In the end he'd hear it anyway. "It's late," he said instead. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

She cast a dubious looking glance at the living room.

"C'mon," he said and stood up. She followed suit as if by rote. He led her into the living room, got her laid out on the couch, covered her with the blanket that was thrown over the back and then settled himself into the easy chair.

"I'm sorry about the sleeping arrangements," she said quietly into the dark room.

"If I cared, I'd have gotten a hotel."

"Still."

He admitted to himself that he was much less excited about spending the night in the easy chair than he had been about spending the previous night curled up with her, but the truth was, sleeping sitting up on the couch hadn't been all that comfortable either. But this whole thing wasn't about his comfort, it was about what he could do for her. And if that meant spending the night in an easy chair so he was close if she needed something, then that's the way it went.

"How long are you staying?" she asked him.

"Through the funeral, through the hearing if nothing comes up on base."

"When has nothing ever come up?"

"We're all on downtime," he confessed. "I took some personal leave."

"Sir, you didn't have to do that."

"What the hell else am I going to use it for?" Fishing? This was more important.

"Fishing?" she asked as if she could read his mind. After all these years, maybe she could.

He gave a non-committal grunt. "You should get some sleep, Carter."

"I'm not tired," she said, then yawned as if on cue.

He chucked. "Sleep."

"Good night," she said softly.

"'Night, Sam." He listened as her breathing evened out into the soft sounds of slumber then, he finally closed his eyes.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As if it weren't enough to spend the morning at the funeral home, she'd had to spend the afternoon at the attorney's office. Thankfully, her father was with her for both while the colonel stayed behind at the house with the kids. She was thankful to have him there, as the last thing she'd have wanted to do was to drag the kids to the funeral preparations and then to talk to a lawyer.

"Ms. Carter," the attorney started to reassure her after she laid her fears out across his desk.

"It's Major Carter," her father interrupted.

"Oh," the attorney said, a bit taken aback. "Okay, Major Carter... your hearing has been scheduled for next Wednesday. Here's how it works," the man explained. "You won't be in a courtroom. You and the children will be in judge's chambers where he'll discuss with you your brother and sister-in-law's wish that you be the children's legal guardian. He'll talk to you a little about your lifestyle and then determine whether or not to name you guardian.

"Now, Major Carter, I understand you're worried about what the judge might say, but I've done a lot of these cases, and I have to tell you, you're qualified. The hearing is really just a formality. The parents wanted you, you want the children, it's a matter of having the judge sign the paperwork."

She exhaled slowly, her fears seeming to take a back seat now with the new information that she was pretty much a shoe-in. "You're sure my military service isn't going to be a problem?"

"I can't be positive about anything, but I'll tell you I've seen military service looked highly upon in these circumstances."

"What happens if I lose? What happens to the children?"

"Considering your father is unable to be a guardian to the children because," the attorney flipped through his notes, "his health and age, a representative from the state will be at the courthouse to take the children into foster care," he said gently.

"Can I appeal?"

"There is an appeals process, but I really don't think we're going to need it."

"You sound pretty sure," her father interjected.

"Like I said, I've handled a lot of these cases."

"Will you be there with us next week?" Sam wanted to know.

"Before and after the hearing, yes. I won't be in the room with you. You're not on trial."

"And if anything goes wrong, you're the one who helps me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said earnestly. "But everything's going to be just fine."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

That night Ben asked her to read him a story before bed. Her heart hurt a little at the request. She knew this was something her brother or sister-in-law did with him every night and now they weren't around to do it anymore. It was yet another responsibility, if a sweet one, that was now Sam's in the wake of his parents' death. She'd read to him once or twice before while visiting, but it felt so much more important this time, to do it right, to be what he needed to slip easily into sleep. She wished she knew what to do for Hannah to ease the girl's mind as well.

Sam settled onto the bed next to him with the book he chose and she read it to him quietly in the dim light of his bedroom. He was asleep before she'd made it to the last page. She looked down at the young boy, his floppy brown hair was spread across the pillow and it made her want to reach out and smooth it into place.

She relaxed against the wall she was propped up against and looked around the room. There was so much stuff and she'd need to move the children and all their things and it suddenly seemed overwhelming. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of emotion. How did people face the enormity of parenthood each day? She'd been responsible for these kids for just days and she was already heavy under the weight of it all.

Thank goodness for her father and for the colonel. The kids seemed to do good with both the men. And, when Sam and her father had returned from their errands that afternoon, they'd found the colonel in the backyard tossing a football around with Ben while Hannah sat in the grass half watching half writing in a spiral bound notebook.

Sam wondered if maybe she should be talking to the kids more about the death of their parents, but it seemed like they didn't want to talk about it and she didn't know how to push without pushing them away. Hannah seemed to get it and while she was still sullen and morose, the arrival of her grandfather and the colonel put enough pep back in her step that Sam wasn't as worried as she had been. Ben, on the other hand, didn't seem to be very different at all. Aside from that one slip early on when he'd not realized the funeral was for his parents, he'd been much the same kid he'd always been, if a little quieter. But to see him outside earlier that day playing catch with the colonel she felt like maybe the boy was doing all right.

She closed her eyes for just a moment and woke up early the next morning still sitting in the bed next to a slumbering Ben and with a crick in her neck. She rolled her head on her shoulders and noted the twinge of pain in her neck before remembering the ibuprofen bottle on the windowsill over the kitchen sink. She climbed carefully off Ben's bed to avoid waking him and crept down the hallway and then down the stairs.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They'd barely spoken about Mark and Angie's deaths and Sam wanted to make sure Ben and Hannah really understood what would happen at the funeral.

The colonel made himself scarce, to where Sam didn't know, and she sat down with the children and her father in the living room. Sam pulled Ben onto her lap and Jacob curled an arm around Hannah's shoulders.

"Tomorrow is the funeral," she started, and had to clear her throat around the thickness that was threatening her words.

"Have you ever been to a funeral?" her father asked.

Both children shook their heads.

"The funeral is the way for people who knew and loved your parents to say goodbye and to honor their memories. In the afternoon, we'll go to the funeral home where the service will be held. The funeral director, me, grandpa, and maybe some of your parents' friends will speak and share stories about your mom and dad. If you want, you can say something, too. When it's over, people are going to want to see all of us, talk to us, and share their support, so we'll stay for a while. After that, we'll come home and if you want, we can look at pictures and share our own stories."

"We're going to want to dress real nice," Jacob said, "so later on today, Ben, we are going to go shopping for suits, and we'll let the girls stay here and pick out something nice to wear. Does that sound okay?" Ben nodded dully at his grandfather.

"I've seen funerals on television," Hannah cut in, shortly, as if everything they were telling her were things she already knew.

Sam searched about an appropriate response but found she wasn't sure what to say so she settled for "Oh. Good." She swallowed and tried to prepare herself to ask the next, more difficult questions she directed towards Ben. "Do you know why we're going to a funeral tomorrow?"

"Because mom and dad died in a car accident," the boy said and his eyes teared up. Her father put a large hand Ben's shoulder and gave him a squeeze.

"Will we get to see them?" Hannah wanted to know.

"No," Sam said, shaking her head. "Your mom and dad wanted to be cremated, do you know what that means?"

"No," Ben said at the same time Hannah's eyes went wide with understanding.

"It means they wanted to be burned up," she spat. "So they're nothing but ashes. You can't, Aunt Sam!"

"It's already done," her father said. "Your Aunt Sam only did what your parents wanted."

"So they won't be at the funeral?" Ben asked.

"No," Hannah groused.

"Then I don't want to go," Ben decided. He shook off his grandfather's hand and scampered out of the living room and into the backyard. Sam saw him climb onto the swing set and sigh. She'd leave him alone for the moment.

"That wasn't very nice," Sam addressed Hannah.

"Sorry," the girl mumbled.

"I'm sorry that you're upset," Sam said in return. "But it really is what your parents wanted."

"It would have been nice to see them one more time," Hannah said smally.

"I know, but it's better you remember your parents they way they were, rather than seeing them after the accident. Do you understand?"

Hannah kicked her toes into the floor. "Yeah, I guess."

"You want to go pick out something to wear to tomorrow?" Sam asked and Jacob rubbed the girl's back.

"I already know what I'm going to wear."

"Okay," Sam said standing, "let's go take a look."

Sam and Hannah headed for the stairs and her father headed for the back door, she gave him a small smile of thanks and hoped he'd have good luck with Ben.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Saturday dawned gray and overcast and she found the cliché rather fitting. But by the time the funeral rolled around it was a bright, sunshiny Southern California day. Her father, the colonel and Ben were all dressed in dark suits – Ben's and her father's newly purchased for the occasion – despite the heat of the day and Sam was suddenly glad they'd opted against the graveside service. She'd always found those a bit morbid, anyway.

The service was short and performed by the funeral director. First Sam got up and read her eulogy. She'd rewritten it by hand onto a clean sheet of paper and she was glad she had because she had a tough enough time reading it without having to read around all the stuff she'd scribbled out. Afterwards, her father gave a very moving tribute to his only son. Several of their friends got up and spoke, telling happy and funny stories about Mark and Angie that made Sam smile through her tears. When asked if they wanted to get up and speak, Hannah and Ben both shook their heads. Sam could understand, both kids has been teary throughout the service. And then, before she knew it, the service was over. It had passed in a blur she could barely remember.

The children's eyes were glazed over if not a little moist and she pressed tissues into each of their hands. As they were leaving, Sam watched as Hannah slipped her hand into the colonel's to walk out of the area where they'd stand in a receiving line of sorts, the same way Ben had taken Sam's own hand. It took an hour for them to see everyone and shake everyone's hand. They turned down several offers of casseroles and other help and the colonel was great about keeping people moving along so no one, the kids especially, had to get caught up in long, uncomfortable conversations.

In the minivan, Hannah piped up, "I'm hungry," and she suggested a restaurant that Mark and Angie had frequented with the kids. Sam exchanged a glance with the colonel who was sitting next to her in the passenger's seat. He just shrugged and gave her a half smile.

"Okay," Sam said, and caught her father's eye in the rearview mirror.

"Sounds good to me," he said.

The restaurant was crowded despite the late lunch/early dinner hour. It was happy sounding and Sam suddenly understood why Hannah had wanted to go there. The kids didn't even look at the menus and Ben was coloring on his placemat before the waiter even came to the table. Sam exchanged a look with Hannah and gave the girl a smile. It was a good idea, so Sam told her that.

Sam felt more relaxed after their meal. In the week since Mark and Angie had died she'd found she felt tense and like she was screwing up all the time. But sitting in the restaurant with the kids, her father, and the colonel she started to feel like there was such a thing as normal and that it was within her reach.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He watched her through the window, sitting on the back porch at the end of a lounge chair with a beer in her hand. The kids and her father were long since asleep. She didn't turn when the door behind her opened, and he knew she had to know it was him. He sat down on the lounge chair behind her. She was still in her dress from the funeral and he could see the way the moonlight glinted off the pale skin of her knees.

He moved until he was close behind her, her back snug up against his chest, his chin hooked over her shoulder. She didn't startle, she merely relaxed back into him. He liked this closeness with her, it wasn't something they allowed themselves and it was nice to feel her body against his. He snaked an arm around her and grabbed her bottle of beer. He lifted it to his lips, it was mostly full despite the fact that she'd been out here the better part of half an hour.

They just sat there together for a while looking out at the night sky. Until, finally, she said, "I hate funerals."

"I don't know anyone who likes them."

"But there was some good about today."

"Yeah."

"We should have done something here at the house," she took the beer back but she seemed to be holding it more for something to do with her hands than to drink it.

"For the mourners?"

"Yeah."

"No, Sam. It's fine."

"We just went out to eat like everything was normal."

"It's fine," he pulled the beer out of her hands again and took another sip.

"It feels like I didn't do enough to honor their memories."

"Sam, you're doing them the biggest honor there is. You're taking their kids."

"Maybe."

"Don't worry about that now," he said quietly into her ear. She shivered in his arms and reappropriated her beer. He could feel the muscles in her jaw tense against his cheek as she swallowed. "Today was fine."

"The kids had trouble getting to sleep tonight," she said and he watched as she smoothed an invisible wrinkle out of her skirt with her hand.

"There are probably going to be some bad nights in between the good ones."

She hummed and tilted her head to the left, exposing her neck to him in an unconscious, he was sure, request for more contact. He obliged her and rubbed his stubble covered cheek over the sensitive, smooth skin of her neck. It wasn't what she was looking for, unconscious or not, but it was probably safer than pressing his lips to her skin.

Behind them he heard footsteps in the kitchen move through the room and stop at the back door. He knew Jacob was up and watching them. Had caught them in yet another mostly innocent and yet compromising position. Damn it, but the man sure had lousy timing. Jack lifted his cheek off Sam's neck and leaned back a little to put more space between them. She didn't object and he wondered if she'd heard her father, too. Jack fought the urge to turn around and glare at the old man. Sam had been relaxed and comfortable and she'd sought something from him, and it was something he couldn't give her, especially not with an audience.

Jack exhaled slowly, squeezed her waist with both of his hands and pulled back from her. She turned her head to look at him. Her blue eyes were dark with intensity and he wondered if she was going to say anything, but she didn't. After meeting his eyes for long moments she turned back to the moon. He got up and left her to her thoughts. Inside, Jacob had already gone.


	5. Chapter 4

The day before the hearing, Sam took stock of her surroundings. The kids, the colonel and her father were at the movies. It was time for Sam to start figuring out what would come with them to Colorado – she had to proceed as if she was going to win custody – and what would need to be sold. The truth was, personal mementos and the children's things were the only things worth keeping. She called a realtor who she'd see the day after the hearing and she called a moving company and set them up for the day after that.

She went to the local liquor store and got boxes and started packing up things like photos and home movies from the cabinets in the living room. She spent most of the day packing and getting things ready. It helped keep her mind from focusing solely on the upcoming proceedings. She was nervous. She knew she was the best choice for the kids and she trusted the attorney when he said that the state usually followed the parent's wishes, but she was still concerned her marital status and military service would stack up against her.

When the kids got home she sent each of them, with an adult, to their rooms to start packing their things. It was already Tuesday and she felt like the calendar was closing in on her. After just an hour the colonel came into the office.

"She said she wants to do it herself," he told Sam. "I think she just wants some privacy."

Sam sat back on her heels and looked up at him from the floor where she was sitting packing yet another box, this one full of personal paperwork on the kids she thought she might need. "There's so much here. I don't know where I'm going to put it all."

"Listen," he said. "Your dad needs to get back and I should too."

She knew it was coming but it still felt like a punch to the gut to know they'd be leaving. It would then be up to her to entertain the kids and keep things moving forward for the move. She almost wished they were in school so they'd have both some sense of normalcy and she'd have a handful of hours during the day to work. But summer vacation was in full swing.

She nodded. "When were you thinking of going back?"

"Not until after the hearing. Maybe Thursday morning?"

"Okay."

"And I thought I could get the house ready for you and the kids. You'll need your spare rooms emptied out so you can put their stuff in."

She'd thought about that, had thought about how difficult that was going to be with stuff moving in as well. And she sagged under the relief of his help. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Nah. I'll get Teal'c and Daniel to help. We'll be able to knock it out in a day."

"You'll need to pack up my stuff..."

"We can do that."

"And break down my furniture... it won't fit with all the kids' stuff."

"I know, Carter."

"It's a lot of work."

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to do it."

"That would be... that would be a lot of help."

"That's what I'm here for," he said. She looked into his eyes and saw giving and acceptance there and she suddenly felt like she wasn't going to have to figure out how to do any of it alone.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The morning of the court hearing Sam wished she had her dress uniform. It felt like the sort of shield she'd need. She always felt powerful in that uniform and she could use a little of that feeling this morning.

"You want me to come along?" her father asked over coffee.

"I'd like you both to come," she addressed both men. "If we win, we can celebrate. If we don't..." she trailed off. She'd need them if she lost. She'd need them if she had to watch her niece and nephew be taken away by Family Services. But she couldn't think like that, because the terror threatened her with tears and she needed to stay positive. She was going to win.

"Sure," the colonel said easily, "we'll come."

Sam was so nervous she asked the colonel to drive to the hearing. He accepted the keys and climbed behind the wheel of the minivan. She thought it was an odd look, him seated there in Angie's place, but she shook it off. As they made their way to the courthouse she stared out the window. The kids were even quiet as her father and the colonel made small talk.

In the parking lot Sam turned to the kids. "I'm not sure what they're going to want to know, but whatever they ask you, answer honestly. Don't worry about hurting my feelings."

"What happens to us if the judge says we can't live with you?" Hannah asked and Sam suddenly wished she'd prepared the kids better.

"Don't worry about that," her father interjected. "Everything is going to be just fine."

"And we'll move to Colorado," Hannah said, but she didn't say  _Colorado_  with the same sneer she had in the days before the funeral.

"Yes," Sam said.

"We want to live with you, Aunt Sam," Ben said.

Sam smiled. "Good. I want you guys to live with me, too."

"We should go in now," the colonel said.

Sam stood up at attention, despite her civilian clothing. "Yes, sir."

The colonel gave her a slow, easy smile and it quieted the butterflies in her stomach. "You've got this, Carter."

"Yes, sir," she said again, this time, with more relaxation in her voice. She was ready.

In the end the judge asked minimal questions of her. Did she own her home or did she rent? What were the chances she'd be deployed in the next six months? Was she prepared to take on the responsibility of the children. And, to the children, did they want to live with their Aunt? It was all very simple and, after only twenty minutes, he signed the paperwork that made the children hers.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Ms. Carter, Hannah, Ben. I hope this helps you move forward."

When she left the judge's chambers she was beaming. The attorney shook her hand, her father hugged her and the colonel clapped her on the shoulder and graced her with one of his rare wide smiles. "You did good, Major."

"Yes, sir."

"Let's go eat," Ben said, breaking the moment.

She laughed with relief. She'd won.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack shoved the last of his toiletries into his bag and zipped it up. It felt odd to be packing to go home, knowing he was leaving Sam behind. Sometime, during the last week they'd been together, he'd gotten awfully damned comfortable playing house with her, the kids, and her dad. He liked the kids, and they apparently liked him, too. Which was good because he figured he'd be around quite a bit in Colorado. It wouldn't be too long and Sam would need to make a decision about gate travel and maybe that would leave a little space for the two of them to...

"Colonel?"

He spun around, caught in his thoughts by the very woman of them. "Oh. Hi."

"Hi," she said with a slow smile, like he was a little dim. She held a key out to him. "To my house."

He took the key from her. "Thank you. I talked to Daniel. We're going to go over tomorrow and get those rooms cleaned out for you. So when you roll in on Saturday night you'll be able to at least get the kids down on the floor. I'll come back on Sunday and help you unload the truck."

"You don't have to do that," she said almost shyly.

"Eh. I figure you could use a hand getting the furniture put back together."

She stood there looking at him nervously for a moment then she said, "Thank you for coming."

He thought about how to answer her then opted for honesty. "Wouldn't have been anywhere else."

She blushed prettily and it made him ache for things to be easier between them, made him think about the upcoming moment when they might be. "I'll be in very late on Saturday night. So, shall we say lunchtime on Sunday?"

"I'll bring pizza."

"The kids would like that."

"Hell, Carter,  _I'll_  like that."

He stepped into her personal space. He'd never hugged her when there wasn't emotional tragedy. Except for that one time that he'd kissed her during the time loop. And she'd been so responsive. He wrapped his arms around her. Her arms immediately came around him and she gave him a squeeze. He liked the way she felt in his arms when she wasn't melting down. She felt strong and sure and he knew there were bad moments ahead but right now, this felt incredible.

Behind him, a throat cleared. He stepped back from her carefully. Her fingers trailed along his ribs as he stepped away.

"It's about time we were out of here, sweetheart," Jacob addressed Sam.

"I know, Dad. Thank you for coming. I'm glad you were able to be here."

Jack didn't mention how Jacob had said he'd had to move heaven and earth to make it happen. He watched as Sam and Jacob embraced.

Outside a horn honked. "That'll be the cab," Jacob said. "Jack, you want to go hold it?"

"Kids!" Sam called and they came clomping down the stairs like a herd of elephants. "Grandpa and the colonel are leaving."

Jack poked his head out the front door and motioned for the cab to wait. He turned back around to get an armful of Hannah Carter. "I'll see you on Sunday, kiddo," he told her when she didn't release him right away. Little Ben shook his hand like a little man and it made Jack smile. He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He caught Sam's eye, gave her a wink, then left to hold the cab. He'd give the family a little time to say their long goodbyes.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

On the plane, Jack leaned back and closed his eyes once they'd leveled out in the sky, but Jacob was having none of that. "I want to talk to you."

Jack opened one eye and peered at the older man. "About what?"

"About what?" Jacob groused. "About Sam."

"There's nothing going on," Jack immediately defended.

It made Jacob want to smile. He checked that impulse. "Didn't look like nothing to me."

"What you saw this past week wasn't... it's not usually like that."

"Maybe it should be."

Jack sat up fully and looked square at Jacob. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Aren't you supposed to be giving me the  _don't touch my daughter_  speech?"

"A few years ago, maybe. But things have changed. And I see the way you two look at each other."

"We don't look at each other any way," the man said. Then quietly, "Not anymore."

Jacob snorted. "Well, that's the biggest lie I've ever heard you tell. And you'll remember I've heard your cover story. You know, it's not going to be too much longer before Sam realizes she can't keep going through the... you know."

"Sam can do whatever she sets her mind to."

"You and I both know what decision she's going to come to. All it's going to take is one trip through the gate now that she's got those kids."

"Shhh," Jack admonished him.

Jacob just raised an eyebrow at him. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Jack sighed. "I can't."

"So once she's not on a front line team anymore, then what?"

"She'll be more useful to the science department."

"And then?"

"And then I'm not her CO anymore," Jack said as if Jacob were pulling his teeth.

"And then what?"

"Then it's up to her."

"I told you, she's going to need somebody. She's gonna need  _you_ , Jack."

"I told  _you_ , I'm not going anywhere." Jack shifted in his seat. "And what if all this doesn't play out the way you think it's going to?"

"Don't let everything stand in your way, son. She's a one in a million woman and she's picked you." It might not be the sort of thing Jacob liked to think of, but it was clear his daughter had chosen the man she wanted. "There's more than one way to skin a cat."

"I could retire."

Jacob nodded, "You could."

"But this is a conversation I really should be having with her," Jack stopped, then emphasized, "when it's time."

Jacob chuckled. "She'd kill both of us if she knew we were having this conversation."

"Yeah," Jack said with a wry laugh. "She would."

"Don't let me down, son." Jacob knew he wouldn't.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Aunt Sam! My boxes are full!"

Sam got up from her spot on the floor of Ben's room to go to Hannah's room to inspect the packing progress. "There are more boxes downstairs," Sam said as she entered the room. She saw Hannah was, in fact, doing a good job of packing up her belongings. Which was good, because the movers were coming the next day to load the truck. And then Saturday they were going to hit the road early in the morning so they could pull into Colorado Springs around midnight.

Hannah slipped past Sam in the doorway and thundered down the stairs to the supply of boxes. Sam could hear her progress in each direction as she tromped on the stairs. Hannah reappeared with a box in each hand.

Ben was slow and sluggish about packing so Sam had done most of the work in the little boy's room. She wished she'd thought to send Ben ahead on the airplane with the colonel and her father, but that would have made her father responsible for the boy when he really needed to be getting back to the Tok'ra. No, Sam would figure out how to get everything done, even with two kids – one who wasn't old enough to be terribly helpful – under foot. She'd better get used to that sort of thing, she figured.

"I've never moved before," Hannah said as she dropped the boxes onto the floor. "It's a lot of work!"

Sam studied the girl. She'd been adamant about not leaving California, but now that the move was upon them she seemed in good enough spirits considering the circumstances. "How're you doing with the idea of moving?"

"Well, I don't really want to leave," she hedged, "but I know we have to."

Sam was reminded how mature Hannah could be. "Thank you."

"For what?"

Sam gathered the young girl into a hug. "For being good about this. I know it's tough to leave all your friends. To leave this house."

Hannah sniffeled against Sam's chest. "Yeah, it is tough, even though I got to call them all to say goodbye. But I understand why you can't leave the Air Force."

Sam pulled back so she could look Hannah in the eye. "Did your grandfather talk to you?"

"No," Hannah shook her head. "Jack did."

Oh how Sam wished she could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. "You like him, don't you?"

The girl blushed a little and Sam could appreciate her point of view. "Yeah. He's nice," she said noncommittally.

"Yeah," Sam said. "He is."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Teal'c, can you take that dresser out to the garage?" Jack asked as he wiped his brow. They'd been disassembling the spare room for the past hour. It had only taken two boxes to hold the small amount of things Sam had scattered around the room to make it feel homey, but disassembling the bed had been a bitch and now Jack needed the space to pull the pieces apart and get them hauled out to the garage. He was pretty sure Sam was going to want to invest in a storage unit or have a yard sale because they were going to fill the empty space in her garage with the contents of the two rooms they were emptying out.

"I can, O'Neill," Teal'c said and enlisted the help of Daniel to carry the awkward piece of furniture out of the room.

Jack looked around. The room was small, but he'd been in both kids room and figured that Ben might be able to make a home in there. He wished he had time to paint, to give the rooms a little personality for the kids.

Jack had been putting off working in Carter's office because he knew that room was going to be the most work. He'd been in there several times and he knew the room was stuffed to the gills with bookshelves, her desk and computer equipment.

"What's next?" Daniel asked coming back into the room with Teal'c on his heels.

"If you guys will get the rest of this furniture out to the garage, I'll start packing up the books in the office.

"Sure," Daniel said, "No problem."

Jack detoured by Carter's bedroom. It felt strange to walk into that room, but he wanted to see if there was a place to put her small desk so she could keep the computer set up. It would take a little moving, but he thought it could be done.

While he packed up the office he asked Teal'c and Daniel to move the furniture in Sam's room enough to accommodate the desk and, by mid afternoon they had a small workspace set up in the corner of her bedroom.

"Not much left now," Daniel said, propping himself up against the door frame to the office.

"Nope," Jack agreed.

"So... Sam's okay with all this?" Daniel gestured at the disassembled office.

"She didn't have much choice."

"It's gonna be weird."

"What is?"

"Sam. Having kids."

"We'll adjust," Jack said.

"But will she?"

"Again... not much choice."

"How was she? When you were in California?"

"Overwhelmed."

"Yeah," Daniel said, voice deep with understanding. "What's she going to do about SG-1?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No, Daniel," Jack groused. "We didn't really talk about it between funeral arrangements and a custody hearing."

"So what did you do the whole time you were out there?"

"Tried to help."

"But Sam was okay?"

"She was as good as could be expected."

"You're not really a bundle of information, Jack."

"Well, what do you want me to say? What she was going through was personal, Daniel. Ask her. If she wants to talk about it, I'm sure she'll tell you."

"So nothing... happened?"

 _With her dad there_ , Jack wanted to ask. Instead he opted for, "What would have happened?"

Daniel huffed. Jack knew what the younger man was asking. It was a poorly kept secret on SG-1 that there was something between Jack and Sam and apparently everyone thought her brother's death was going to be the catalyst to bring the two of them together. Jack, if he admitteded it to himself, included.

"Nothing happened," Jack answered honestly. Not that he hadn't thought about it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam herded two very sleepy kids into the minivan at zero five hundred on Saturday morning. It was a sixteen hour drive  _without_  pitstops and she wanted to get some road under their belts before breakfast was going to be an issue.

Sam left the house keys in the lockbox the realtor left and climbed into the van. It felt strange, taking off on a long trip in a minivan with two kids, but, like a lot of things, she figured she should get used to it.

Hannah, despite being sleepy, was wide awake in the backseat as Sam took off down the road. Ben had already fallen back asleep before they'd even left the driveway.

"How long is the drive?" Hannah asked for the third time.

"Sixteen hours."

"That's a really long way."

"Yes, it is." Sam could already feel a headache forming behind her eyes, not a good way to start a long trip. She though perhaps it was the stress of a long trip with the added weight of precious cargo. But it was nice to know that they'd pull in and the van with their belonging would already be there and that the next day the colonel would be showing up to help. She was looking forward to seeing him again. She always looked forward to seeing him when they'd been apart for a few days – even during the last couple of years when they'd held a distance between them. She felt the gap closing since Mark's death, but she worried the proximity was artificial due to circumstances.

"I'm hungry," Hannah piped up, pulling Sam from her reverie.

"We've been on the road for five minutes," Sam argued. "Let's wait until a little later when Ben's awake, too."

"Okay," Hannah pouted but she didn't actually sound all that upset.

By zero eight hundred both kids were awake and Sam's stomach was growling. "How about drive through?"

"McDonald's?" Ben asked with excitement.

Only a kid would be that excited about McDonald's, Sam thought. "Sure."

All three of their meals that day were drive through and two of them were, to Ben's delight, McDonald's. By twenty two hundred both kids were asleep in the backseat – for which Sam was grateful. A full day in the car wasn't fun for either one of them which meant it wasn't fun for her either. They'd both managed to get on each other's last nerves and hers as well.

The cell phone rang at twenty three hundred when she'd just climbed back into the van after filling up with gas. She looked at the caller ID – the colonel.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Where are you?" His voice sounded warm, welcoming, and comforting. She felt the headache that had been pounding recede a little.

"About an hour out."

"You're making good time."

"Doesn't feel like it," she said and yawned. "I'm exhausted."

"Sixteen hours in a car with kids... yeah, that'll do it."

"They were good. Mostly."

"They're good kids."

"Yeah."

"I'll see you tomorrow, noon. If that'll give you enough time to get some sleep?"

"That's fine. It'll be nice to get the rooms set up even if we can't get them completely unpacked."

"Okay, good." He cleared his throat. "Be careful driving. If you get too tired, call me."

His worry was sweet, but she didn't like to talk on the phone and drive. "I'll be okay."

"See you tomorrow, Sam. Drive safe."

"Good night," she said and hung up the phone.

She pulled into her driveway just past midnight. She settled each kid into one end of the couch, covered them with throw blankets and carried herself off to her own bed for the first time in two weeks. The next day she'd get the kids settled in and she'd start the next chapter of her life.


	6. Chapter 5

Sam was up at zero seven hundred despite her late night. She just didn't sleep like she used to pre-Stargate program. She started her morning getting reaquainted with her coffee maker. Then she popped her head in to check on the kids who were still slumbering away peacefully. She wandered first to her old guest room that would become Ben's room. Not only had all the furniture been moved out, but the carpet had been vacuumed. She thanked her lucky stars for the men on her team and moved on to her old office – Hannah's room. Also completely empty and vacuumed.

She'd noticed she now had a bit of a home office in one corner of her bedroom when she'd woken up that morning. She thought that was a nice touch and wondered who she had to thank for it. She decided to give the set up a test run and went in to power up the computer. Everything worked the way it was supposed to so she was pretty sure Daniel had something to do with it, even though she'd put money on the original idea being the colonel's.

By zero nine hundred she was bored and she could hear stirring from the living room. The kids were up. She thought for just a moment about getting started on the unpacking of the truck and had a sudden realization. She pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and texted the colonel.

_Change of plans._

_Oh?_

_Paint._

_I had that thought too._

_I'm taking the kids to Lowe's. Want to come?_  As soon as she pressed send she started to kick herself. Why had she invited him along? Would it seem... weird?

 _Give me half an hour._ His response was almost immediate and it made her feel better.

With a smile she went out to the car and grabbed the kids' suitcases. She dropped them on the floor of the living room where two bleary-eyed kids were staring back at her. "Come on," she said, with excitement in her voice. "Get dressed."

"Why?" Hannah wanted to know though she was already flipping her blanket back to get up.

"Because we're going to go buy paint."

"For what?" Ben asked in a small, sleepy voice.

"Your rooms. They're boring white right now and I think we should paint them. Whatever colors you want."

"Really?"

"Yep," Sam said but she started to wonder, with the excitement in Hannah's voice, if she hadn't just agreed to something frightening. Oh well, she figured, she could always ask them to keep their doors closed if the colors were too garish.

Hannah bounced up off the couch. "I want purple."

"I want Ninja Turtle green!"

Oh my, Sam thought. She didn't know a ninja turtle from any other, but turtle green sounded very, very green. But, she had agreed. "Well, we can't go if you don't get dressed," her comment was directed at Ben. Hannah was already rifling through her suitcase.

"I'm hungry," Ben said.

"We'll get breakfast on the way," she promised, then wondered if the colonel was up for brunch with her and the kids. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. She actually felt excited about something for the first time since Mark and Angie's death and she was pretty sure this was the most animation she'd seen out of the kids, too.

"Bathroom is the first door on the left," Sam told Hannah. "Your room is the second on the right. Change where you like. And brush your teeth and your hair!" she called.

"Ben, your room is first on the right, right across from the bathroom. You want to get up and change your clothes?" She coaxed the boy up off the couch. "Ninja Turtle Green? Remember?"

He grinned at her and scrambled down.

Half an hour later, the kids were bouncing off the walls, talking about what they wanted for breakfast, and the colonel was pulling into her driveway. She pulled open the front door before he could even knock. "I hope you don't mind, but I promised the kids breakfast on the way."

"No problem," he said smoothly. "You guys are up earlier than I thought you'd be."

"Up since seven," she boasted, her good mood bubbling up and over everything.

"And you're in a very good mood."

"Paint," she said as if that explained it all. Though, if she was honest with herself, it was partially due to the relief of being home, with the kids in tow, and the ability to get started on getting life back in order after the complete upheaval they'd all endured. Putting things in their place had always made her very happy.

He chuckled. "Paint."

"Come on, kids," Sam called and they careened into the entrance hall.

"Jack!" Hannah cried out and hit him like a whirlwind. Sam wished she had the fortitude to greet him the same way. Sam watched the way he hugged the little girl back and it was reminiscent of the early days of Cassie, his demeanor and smile as he embraced her. It made her instantly soften to know that he would bond with her niece and nephew the way he had with Cassie – or at least it appeared that he'd try. "Aunt Sam says we can paint our rooms any color we want!"

Jack raised an eyebrow and looked at Sam askance. "Oh she did, did she?"

"Yep!"

"I think she might come to regret that," he said with a chuckle as he released Hannah.

"Purple," Sam said pointing at Hannah, "and Ninja Turtle green," she said pointing at Ben, "which sounds..."

"...Very green."

She grinned at him, "Yes, sir."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Breakfast was an added bonus to a day he was already looking forward to. Working side by side Carter on a domestic task was the stuff of dreams as far as he was concerned, and to get to spend the morning with her and the kids was a taste of something he was starting to let himself hope for.

Now they stood shoulder to shoulder in the paint department at Lowe's watching the kids rifle excitedly through the paint chips.

"They look happy," he observed.

"They do, don't they?"

"Well, hell, Carter. You bribed them with paint."

"I didn't  _bribe_  them. But it is nice to see them excited about  _something_  about moving. Even if it is just that they get to have whatever color paint they want.

"You know you don't have to give them everything they want, right? They're not entitled to the world just because they lost their parents."

"The paint was my idea," she reassured him. "But I understand what you're saying. It is sort of tough to say no to them."

"Learn to say no, Sam."

"The paint really was my idea."

He waved his hand. "I'm not talking about the paint, though I'm pretty sure you're going to live to regret this," he said with a quirky grin, "I'm talking about everything else. Be strong for them, and don't let them run roughshod all over you."

"I won't," she promised seriously.

Ben came running over in the next moment to shove a strip of colors up near Sam's nose. "The second one from the top!"

Sam took the paint chip from his little hand and held it at a distances more suitable for actually seeing the color he chose.

"That's... green," she said with a mustered-up cheerfulness.

"You're sure that's the color you want?" Jack asked him. "It's going to be on  _all_  the walls. For years."

The little boy looked thoughtful at the idea of years with the same color. "But what if I don't like green anymore?"

"Too bad," Jack said.

Ben thought about it a little more. "Nope," he said. "That's the color I want."

Jack sighed at the Kelly green and looked at Sam. She gave him a half smile and a shrug. "Okay," she said, "this is the one."

Hannah, on the other hand, came over with three strips of colors in her hand, all various shades of purple. "I can't decide."

She and Sam debated the merits of each of the colors for long minutes while Ben and Jack exchanged good natured eye-rolls at the girls' expense. Hannah finally settled for a dusty purple color that was much easier on the eyes than the green Ben had chosen.

The kids watched in rapture as the paint mixer added the colors to the white paint and then they stood enthralled as the paint cans were put into the shaker.

"It's cool, isn't it, Aunt Sam?" Ben wanted to know.

"Very," she said with more gravias than Jack thought it really deserved. But, she was good with them. She'd been so worried she wouldn't know what to do with them and now that she was busy being there for them the fear seemed to have taken a back burner.

While the kids continued to watch the paint shake, Jack nudged Sam with his elbow. "How about we call Cassie and get her to take the kids to the park while we paint?"

"Hannah's old enough to help," she started to object.

"But Ben isn't. It'll be good to get them out of the house. And it'll be nice for them to meet Cassie."

"Yeah, okay," she acquiesced.

While Sam oohed and aahed over the paint mixing with the kids, Jack pulled out his cell phone and called the Fraisers. Cassie, good kid that she was, immediately said yes to what Jack asked of her and volunteered to meet them at Sam's in an hour.

"Cassie's in," Jack said when he got back to Sam's side.

"It's nice of her to spend her Sunday entertaining a couple of kids."

"She's a good kid."

"Yes, she is."

Jack was reminded about a similar conversation about Ben and Hannah. Sam was lucky because they were good kids. They'd been through hell losing their parents and yet they were still polite and respectful, and once Hannah had shaken off her initial sullenness, she'd been engaged and helpful.

He figured there would be bad days on the horizon, times when the injustice of having lost their parents would occur to them, but today? Today was a very good day.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam finished taping off the windows in Ben's room to find the colonel was already cutting in the edges of the room with one of her brand new paint brushes.

"Wow, that's really green," she commented.

"I hope he likes it."

"He seems really excited about it."

The colonel just harrumphed.

"Thank you for your help with this," she said. "I could have done it on my own."

"Sure," he said off-handedly, "but the company's nice."

"Yes sir," she said and she could feel herself blushing. "It is." She picked up a roller and an extender and got to work behind him rolling paint onto the walls.

Sam considered the man she'd always thought of first as her CO and second as the man she'd come to have feelings for – especially once she'd had to wall off those feelings out of self preservation. Since her brother's death, though, he'd apparently decided the walls between them were useless. Sure, he still called her Carter sometimes, and no, he hadn't declared his feelings for her, but just being around like he was was proof enough, in her opinion, that things were changing between them.

The trouble was, she wasn't sure how to move them forward after everything that had, or hadn't, happened between them. The very next day she was going to go talk to General Hammond and her life would change even more than it already had. After that, she supposed, she'd need to have a talk with him. But... what if she was wrong?

What if what she perceived as his walls coming down was really just him being a friend in her time of need? And, even if it was more than that, could she really make another life altering change on the heels of other life altering changes? Would it be wise? Would it be fair to the children? In truth, she was better off not rocking the boat with her CO. Even if she really did want to explore what might be between them.

"Penny for your thoughts," he said and she realized she'd been rolling paint onto the wall in the same place over and over again.

"Not worth it," she blew him off.

"I find that hard to believe."

But she couldn't very well tell him she'd been thinking about him. And she didn't want to talk to him about her leaving SG-1. It was a big decision and she felt like she'd made it hastily in the face of the drastic turn her life had taken but she couldn't, very well, continue to traipse across one planet after the other leaving those two kids behind without any other family to take care of them. What if something happened to her. It wasn't even like she could say she'd never died out there. What would happen then? No, it was simply too dangerous for her to continue to step through the gate now that she was the guardian of Mark and Angie's children.

"You're lost in thought again," he said. "You sure there's not something you want to talk about?"

"Positive," she said, perhaps a little too quickly because he quirked an eyebrow at her but he went back to his careful cutting in.

She watched his long fingers, they way they held the brush. Her eyes traveled down over his wrist, down to his shoulder, down his back, to his delectable six which was eye level due to the ladder he'd climbed to work near the ceiling. She'd spent a long time in the field following that particular six, eyes on it sometimes just to keep the boredom from setting in. She didn't even realize she was staring until he cleared his throat. "What? Do I have paint on me already?"

Her eyes snapped up to his. "Um, no." And she blushed. Again.

A smiled toyed with the corners of his mouth and his eyes started to twinkle. "So what you're saying is you were just checking me out?"

She couldn't believe he'd state it so blatantly! Though, that's precisely what she'd been doing. "I... uh... no, sir!"

"No, sir?" he asked wryly and she couldn't figure out if it was the  _no_  or the  _sir_  that he took umbrage with.

"Well... yes." She opted to ditch both.

A grin split his face. Then he turned back to the wall but from her vantage point she could still see his smile. Well, she's glad he was getting a kick out of it, because she was just plain embarrassed. To be caught staring at his ass only minutes after she'd decided that attempting to move forward with him was a bad idea, well, maybe her libido hadn't yet gotten the memo.

It took a while for the easy camaraderie to come back after her slip, though he was in a great mood. She was reserved and careful and it left them at odds for quite some time. But by the time they'd moved on to Hannah's room she could finally feel herself relaxing. And then she caught him staring at her ass when she was bent over the cans of purple paint, prying one open so they could begin their work.

It wasn't the first time she'd caught him checking her out. For the first several years she'd just thought he was appreciative of the female form, but then, gradually, she'd learned that it was  _her_  he was attracted to. And then they'd shelved everything and the few times she'd caught him looking it had been a painful reminder of what couldn't be. But today it was kind of nice, especially after her slip, even if she had decided that she wasn't changing the status quo.

She should probably be trying to keep her distance rather than inviting him to do things like go to breakfast and pick up paint, but the truth was, she liked the way it felt to spend time with him in a relaxed setting. And they could be friends, couldn't they, even if she wasn't going to take things further?

They finished the painting when the sun was starting to lower in the sky and the three kids returned from the park. The kids were ecstatic and were looking forward to getting their rooms put together but after the long day of painting Sam wasn't up to unloading the truck.

"We'll get started on that tomorrow," Sam said as she collapsed onto the couch. "You two need to get showers and we need to let Cassie and the colonel get home."

"It was no problem, Sam. We had fun," Cassie reassured her.

"Then... would you mind watching them for a couple of hours tomorrow? I have to go to the base."

"Sure," the teenager said, "no problem. See you first thing in the morning?"

"Yes, thank you." Sam hugged Cassie goodbye and the colonel stood in the doorway waiting to pack the teenager into his truck to take her home. "Thanks for all your help today, sir."

"Anytime. As a matter of fact, I'll come back tomorrow when I'm off and I'll help you get the furniture put together."

"I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

He gave her a heart stopping smile and then, he was gone.

Yep, Sam thought. Friends. Definitely friends. For sure.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Her meeting with General Hammond had gone much the way she expected. He was in turns disappointed she'd be leaving the flagship team and excited to hear he'd have the top gate scientist safe and ready at all times. He'd been unable to promise her that she'd never have to go through the gate, and in truth she was happy to hear that the occasional trip might still be in her future. She wanted to be safe for the children, but the truth was she was heartbroken about giving up her spot on SG-1. It had been her dream job. And yes, there was a fair share of getting shot at, but the discoveries were amazing. And she was going to be sad to see that chapter of her life close.

He did, however, offer her an opportunity that might still allow her to move up the ranks. He put her in charge of the science division which meant she'd report directly to him. She had a momentary pang when she realized that meant that the colonel really wasn't her CO anymore, he was merely a superior officer. And then she remembered that she'd decided it was wiser to avoid changing their relationship. It was just tough to remember that when she'd spent years thinking about what it would be like if he wasn't her CO.

She pulled herself up by her bootstraps. The changes with the kids and with her job were more than enough for any one person to sanely navigate, she reminded herself. It was foolish to think piling a relationship on top of that was a good idea. And, it was unfair to the kids when she should be focusing all her attention on them and making sure they were settling in. It might hurt for a while, to be so close to him yet so far, but she was used to pain where Jack O'Neill was concerned – she could endure this too.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack climbed out of his truck and stood still in her driveway for a few moments. It had been a roller coaster of day and he wanted to make sure he approached her the right way. And then, she appeared from behind the moving van and thwarted his plans to prepare himself between his truck and her front door.

"I thought I heard your truck," she said as she wiped her hands on the thighs of her jeans. "Hi."

"Hey." But he had stuff on his mind that apparently wasn't going to wait. "I heard you talked to Hammond about transferring off the team."

She looked almost chagrined. "I did."

"I thought you'd have come to me first."

" _I_  thought it would be obvious what I had to do."

"It is," he hedged. "It was just... weird, hearing it."

"It's weird saying it," she said quietly.

"So that's it," he said and he tried for a smile but mostly missed.

"Yeah."

"SG-1 isn't going to be the same without you." He knew he sounded a little sad, but damn it, he  _was_ a little sad. He knew what this meant for them personally, and for that he was glad, but to lose her from the team was a blow he'd thought he was prepared for but that it turned out he wasn't.

"It's not going to be easy to stay behind and watch you guys go out. But it's what I had to do."

"I know."

"So let's not dwell, huh?" she asked him, throwing him a quirky grin. He liked the sound of his phrase on her lips.

He tossed her a genuine smile and gestured at the truck. "Make any headway today?"

"The boxes are all unloaded and out of the way. But I need a hand with the furniture – it's too heavy for the kids to help."

"Sure, no problem."

Together they unloaded all the furniture into the correct rooms. And, while Sam ordered pizza for dinner – she figured she was going to have to figure out the cooking thing sooner rather than later – the colonel put the finishing touches on the final assembly of the furniture.

"All that's left is the detail work," he said coming out into the living room.

She hung up the phone and flopped down onto the couch, leaving room for him to do the same. "Thanks for your help."

"Think nothing of it," he said and waved her off. He was happy to help. Happy to spend time with her. Happy just to be a part of her life however he could be until they navigated how to be something more. Which was, now that he thought about it, perfectly legal. He could sit next to her on the couch without worrying about what might happen if he touched her. Sweet.

Not that he immediately took advantage. Part of him wondered if he should let her make the first move. After all, there had been a lot of changes in her life. Maybe she needed some time to adjust. It had been nice to spend the time with her he had in California, where he got to see her with her defenses down and where they'd had a little taste of how they might fit together. And it was good.

So yeah, he'd leave the ball in her court, let her decide when and how to change the nature of their relationship. There was no reason to push, he was in no hurry at all.


	7. Chapter 6

Sam's phone chimed with the arrival of a new text message.

_How about a cookout Saturday?_

_Who?_  She wanted to know.

_Us, the kids, SG-1, Janet & Cassie..._

She tried not to feel the little flutter that  _Us_ conjured up.  _That sounds nice._

 _"_ Who are you texting with?" Hannah asked impudently, though Sam didn't mind, as she came into the living room where Sam was sitting on the couch.

"The colonel," Sam said and laid her phone down on the coffee table. It chimed again but she didn't pick it up. "What's up?"

"I'm all unpacked."

"That was quick! I haven't even finished your brother's room yet."

"I can help him," Hannah offered.

"Thanks, sweetie, but that's okay. I'll help him. You can take some time to enjoy." Sam's phone chimed again.

"Aunt Sam... There used to be a picture in our living room of mom and dad. It was in a frame. Can I have it for my room?"

Sam's heart broke a little. It was impossible to forget why the kids were with her, but they'd been doing so well that it was easy to forget that the wounds were still fresh. "Of course you can. I'm not sure which of the boxes it's in," Sam indicated the boxes on the living room floor, "but we can go through them and find it."

Her phone chimed again and Hannah smiled. "You should probably answer him."

Sam grinned back and picked up her phone.

_I was thinking evening._

_We can throw some stuff on the grill._

_What do the kids like_?

"Hot dogs or hamburgers?" Sam asked the girl.

"Um... what?"

"The colonel wants to have a cookout on Saturday. Would you prefer hot dogs or hamburgers."

"Oh. Hot dogs, I guess. Ben thinks hamburgers are too messy."

Sam had never heard of a young boy being afraid of messy, but she thought it was sweet his sister had deferred to his preference. "You sure?"

Hannah nodded definitively. "Yep."

Sam texted back.  _Hot dogs._

_Carter, I can afford to feed them better than that._

She smiled.  _I asked and that's what they want. Hamburgers are too messy._ She sent one last message.  _Going to go through some boxes with H. Talk later?_

 _Sure_.

"Let's look for that picture, huh?" It took them opening four boxes to find the photograph in question, but it took them at least fifteen minutes per box they opened because Hannah ran her fingers lovingly over each item like the memories could soak in through her skin. She wore a grim sort of smile, like it might have all been a little too much too soon, but like she'd steeled her eleven-year-old heart for the worst and ended up somewhere between pleasure and pain.

Sam could understand. She felt the emotion rise up in her throat, thick like it had been the day she'd found out her brother and sister-in-law had died. Nothing about the situation was easy even if the kids had made an effort to settle into their new home the best they could. The painting seemed to have gone a long way towards making things theirs but Sam wasn't sure it was enough, as was evidenced by Hannah's request for the photograph. She wondered if she shouldn't put another photo in a frame for Ben to keep in his room as well. But maybe the reminder would be too much for the young boy – seven was a tricky age, and she could barely remember it. So she'd let him ask, she supposed, or at least wait to suss the situation out further.

"Aunt Sam, what are you going to do with all these things?"

Sam looked around at the boxes. "I don't know."

"We could... I'd like to keep them in my room. I have space on the bookshelves."

Not for all of it, she didn't, but the closet in that room was big. "We could put out the things you'd like and leave the rest in boxes in your closet so you can go through them whenever you like."

Hannah nodded. "That would be nice." She picked at the pile on the carpet and then looked up at Sam with tears in her eyes. "I really miss them."

"Oh sweetie," Sam said feeling tears prick at the back of her own eyes. She leaned into the girl, taking her in her arms, "I know."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The thing about the colonel's house was that it was comforting. It was the kind of place where you just wanted to spend time. She wasn't surprised at all to find the kids were much more taken with his yard and tree-flanked property than they were with hers. As the men played catch with Ben, Hannah, Janet, Cassie and Sam pottered about in the kitchen turning ingredients into something resembling the cookout the colonel had promised.

"This is fine," Cassie said, "but Uncle Jack's doing the grilling."

Janet huffed good-naturedly. "You'd better believe it."

"You don't want to play outside with the guys?" Sam asked Hannah.

Hannah looked at her like she'd grown a second head, which made Cassie laugh. "No, I really don't think so," Hannah said.

"The girls are so much cooler," Cassie said with authority.

"Jack's nice," Hannah said quietly, a blush staining her cheeks. Janet and Sam exchanged a look and a small smile.

"Yes," Janet said, "he is."

"You should ask him to show you the telescope," Cassie piped up. "He used to take me up there all the time when I was younger."

"He has a telescope?"

"A really nice one," Sam confirmed.

"Ben's going to think that's so cool!" the girl exclaimed. "He was begging mom and dad to let him go to space camp but they said he's too young to go."

"Well, it's in Alabama which is pretty far."

"And dad said it's only a day camp for kids his age which means mom or dad would have had to go with him."

"Maybe we'll talk about it again when he's older."

"So I guess that means you think he's too young, too," Hannah said with a near pout.

" _I think_ , this is something I should be talking about with your brother," Sam put an end to the conversation.

"There are plenty of other things you can do, though. Colorado Springs is fun," Cassie said, and exchanged glances with the adults.

Hannah just shrugged. Sam vowed to find something interesting to keep the kids entertained over the summer. This was the worst possible time for them to be left alone with nothing but their thoughts.

The sliding glass door opened and the guys came tumbling into the house.

"We're hungry," Daniel exclaimed.

"Tell Colonel O'Neill," Janet said. "We've done everything but the grill."

"Okay, okay," the colonel said, holding up his hands, the football grasped in one of them. He tossed the ball to Teal'c. "I'll get the grill started."

"I'll come!" Ben said, sounding far too excited about the prospect of fire, in Sam's opinion.

Daniel and Teal'c wandered into the kitchen. Hannah looked up at Teal'c still looking just as wary as she had when she'd met him, despite his having been as polite and mild-mannered as always.

"Hannah Carter," Teal'c said, his voice deep and, if Sam mentioned it, soothing, "do you not wish to watch the lighting of the grill with Benjamin Carter."

"Ben lets you call him that?!" The girl exclaimed. "He  _hates_  it when people call him Benjamin."

"It's impossible to hate any name when it's Teal'c doing the talking," Cassie said with a smile.

"You don't have to call us by our full names, you know," the little girl offered.

Teal'c merely dipped his head at her. "It is how my people show respect."

"Oh," she said, a bit uncomfortable. "Okay."

Sam smiled as she moved to the refrigerator to pull out the tray of meat the colonel would be cooking that evening. She carried it outside onto the deck, listening as Daniel and Teal'c tried to explain Jaffa culture to the young girl without making it sound as alien as it truly was.

"Meat," Sam said as she stepped out onto the deck.

"Ah, meat," the colonel crowed.

"Meat!" Ben said then giggled. The colonel looked down at him and smiled and Sam was hit with a sudden pang for these two. Ben who had lost his father, the colonel who had lost his son, it was no wonder the two of them found something kindred in one another. It was no wonder, really, that Ben enjoyed spending time with the colonel. And the colonel had always said kids were his favorite people. So she didn't worry that perhaps Ben was wearing out his welcome being plastered to the colonel as he had been since they'd all arrived at his house.

Throughout dinner the conversation was lively and she appreciated the way her friends included her niece and nephew. It was never as if the kids were a new addition. By the time the sun had gone down, Teal'c and Daniel were packing up to leave as were Janet and Cassie.

"Jack," Hannah asked, "Cassie says you have a telescope. Could we see it?"

"A telescope?!" Ben asked excitedly.

The colonel chuckled. "Yeah, I don't see why not. As long as Aunt Sam wasn't ready to rush off home."

Three pairs of eyes turned on her, two eager and pleading, one twinkling. "No," she said with a smile, "it's fine."

"Why don't you three head up. I'll clean some of this up and join you."

"You don't have to do that, Carter-" he started.

"It's okay, sir. It would be crowded up there with all four of us for long anyway."

"Okay, then," he said, clapping his hands once, "shall we?"

Sam watched them disappear down the hallway and she went into the kitchen to load the dishwasher. It seemed they'd gone through quite a bit of the colonel's clean dishes, and considering three of the mouths fed belonged to her, and considering he was doing something very nice by entertaining her niece and nephew, she really didn't mind cleaning up a little.

After she started the dishwasher, she put the leftover food into the refrigerator. She checked her watch. Twenty minutes had passed. By now they were probably looking at something good so she made her way down the hall and through the colonel's bedroom. She'd been up to the telescope several times over the years and she was always very careful to not pay too much attention to the colonel's bedroom as she had to walk through it. It was just too... intimate.

She went out the sliding glass doors and climbed the ladder to the platform. Ben was sitting on the colonel's lap looking through the eyepiece.

"What are you looking at?"

"Venus," Ben said from behind the telescope. "And it's so cool!"

"It is pretty cool, Carter, want to see?"

"Sure," she said.

Ben scrambled off the colonel's lap but the colonel just leaned back a little to give her room to look into the 'scope. She tried not to notice the heat of his leg where it was pressed against hers.  _Friends_ , she chanted to herself,  _friends._ "That is pretty cool," Sam agreed once she'd seen Venus.

"You want to pick something to look at next, Hannah?" Jack asked.

"I want to see the moon," Hannah said.

"Just... the moon?" the colonel asked a little let down, apparently, that she hadn't wanted to see something cooler and more distant.

"Well," the girl said with a shrug, "yeah. Mom used read me this book when I was a kid called  _Goodnight Moon_  and I always sort of wondered what it really looked like, up close."

The mention of the girl's mother had Sam and the colonel exchanging loaded glances. "Okay," he said softly, "the moon it is."

He made a space for her to stand between his legs and he let her look into the telescope once he'd focused on the moon. When she'd looked her fill, Ben eagerly retook his spot on the colonel's lap.

"How about you?" the colonel asked her when Ben was done. "You want to see the moon?"

She thought about being that close to him again, remembered the last time she'd looked at the moon with him and how he'd felt pressed against her back on the back porch of her brother's house in California. "Not tonight," she said. "I think it's time we went home and let the colonel have his house back."

The kids sighed dramatically. "Can we do this again?" Ben asked the colonel.

"The cookout?"

"The telescope," the boy clarified.

"Anytime you want," the colonel offered. "As long as it's okay with Aunt Sam."

"Anytime you want," Sam agreed with a smile.

"Maybe next time you'll want to look at the moon, too," Hannah said.

Sam exchanged another glance with the colonel. The look in his eyes said he was remembering that night out on the deck too, when she'd bared her neck to him and he'd pressed himself against her flesh. It had felt very fundamental to be touching him that way.

She gave him a wan smile. "It's time to go home, kids."

"Okay, Aunt Sam. Thank you, Jack!" Hannah said first, and then Ben thanked him, too.

"Goodnight," he said, not breaking eye contact with her. She felt heat pass between them and she reminded herself... Just Friends. She wasn't sure she was supposed to have to be reminding herself of that so often. Maybe it meant that it was a bad idea. He broke eye contact and looked down at the kids. He squeezed Hannah's shoulder and ruffled Ben's hair.

"Goodnight, sir," she said then turned and led the kids down the ladder, through his house and out to her car.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack knocked on the door frame of Sam's lab. It didn't feel right to just barge in when he wasn't, technically, her CO anymore, not to mention that she was now head of the department.

She looked up from what she was doing, he couldn't tell really what it was but it looked important, and gave him a brilliant smile that made his stomach knot up. "Hi."

"Hey, Carter. Whatcha doing?"

"Oh, I'm converting the power from this device found on P3X-"

He held up a hand and stopped her. "Nevermind, Carter."

"Right," she said, a blush staining her cheeks. "Did you need something, sir."

"Nope, just wanted to stop by. We're... uh.. heading off. First mission without you."

"Oh."

"Uninhabited. Rocks. Just us guys, we haven't replaced you yet..."

"Oh," she said again. Jack watched as apparently unwanted emotions flitted across her face.

He decided to change the subject. "The kids settling in with a babysitter?"

"Cassie's sitting with them this week. She didn't have anything planned and she sounded pretty excited about having the money for..." Sam shook her head... "I don't know, something at the mall. Sounded very... teenager-y."

He grimaced. "I bet."

"Oh, please," Sam said with a chuckle, "we both know if she wanted it bad enough she'd just hit you up for it anyway. I think this is just her way of being nice. The money probably doesn't hurt, though."

"You make it sound like I spoil her."

"Sir..."

He sighed. "Okay, fine. But she's got a soft spot in my heart." A spot that was growing to include Sam's niece and nephew, too. They were good kids and kids that were important to someone who was very important to him. It wasn't such a big leap to think he'd already be making room for the two of them.

It was easy with Hannah – even if she did seem to have a bit of a crush. But with Ben, he was so close in age to Charlie that it hurt a little when he'd play with the boy. Not too much, because they were very different kids, but it was still pretty close to home. So yes, it hurt, but in a pleasant second chance sort of way. If everything worked out the way he wanted it to, he'd be spending a lot more time with those kids, so it was good if he made an effort to be friendly with them right from the get-go.

Jack shook himself out of his reverie. "You doing okay with the new assignment?"

"Yes," she said with a big smile. "I get to play with all the tech that comes back from off world."

"You've got time for that now," he pointed out.

"I will miss going off world, though."

"It's for a good cause, Carter."

"I know. But knowing it's the right thing to do doesn't necessarily make it easier to give up something that meant so much to me."

He didn't like the desperate tone of her voice. "But on the flip side, you probably won't get shot at quite as much."

She barked out a laugh. "No sir, you're probably right."

"You made the right choice, Sam."

She gave him one of her wide-blue-eyes looks that always hit him in the solar plexus. "Thank you, sir."

"I've got to go gear up."

"Have fun. Stay safe." It was something she wouldn't have bothered to say to him if they were going out together, so it felt kind of good to hear it from her when he was leaving her behind.

"You know it."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"We've got another seven weeks before school starts," Sam said as she sat down at the dining room table with the kids for a dinner of breakfast foods. "And Cassie can't stay with you every day. So I was thinking... how about camp?"

Hannah's eyes went wide. "Like... sleepover camp?"

"Um, I was thinking more like day camp."

"Oh," the young girl said. "Good."

"I've been looking around at some information and I've found some things you guys might enjoy." Sam went through the brochures with them and they chose several camps that ran for a week a piece: A science camp that really lit up Ben's little features, a hiking and nature camp that both kids seemed to be excited about when they heard there was a day at the Springs themselves, there was a craft camp that made Hannah look excited that happened to coincide with a lake fishing camp that Ben thought he might like to try – Sam wasn't sure how she'd navigate two camps and work, but she'd figure it out – and there was a camp that seemed to mostly be babysitting with a trip to the movies each day, but they all agreed that one would work, too. So that took care of four weeks of the summer and Sam figured she could make arrangements for the other three.

"This is... it must be..." but Hannah seemed unable to express herself.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was just thinking this must be... expensive."

"Oh." Well, in truth, it was. But from what she'd gathered talking to Janet and a couple of the other parents on base, it was not much more expensive than hiring out childcare for weeks at a time and at least the kids would be engaged. Besides, the camps knew they were competing with regular childcare and were priced accordingly. But how to tell a child that? "Well, it's not, really," Sam finally settled on. "I can take care of you guys, you don't have to worry."

And Sam knew life had been very different for the kids in California. They were, for instance, from a two parent home and used to having a stay at home mother. The reality was, it was going to be a big adjustment for all of them.

"Aunt Sam?" Ben piped up.

"Yes?"

"Do you think I could join the Navigators here?"

"Well," she said carefully, "I don't know if there are any local chapters, but we can look into it."

"The meetings are at night; dad always took me after work."

She didn't have the heart to tell him that her days weren't always regular nine to fives, though now that she was in the science department her schedule would be a lot more regular. Barring gate trouble, of course.

"Well," Sam said definitively, "I'll sign you two up for the camps tomorrow. Cassie will watch you the rest of this week, and then science camp is next week. So I think we have a plan."

"Thank you, Aunt Sam," Hannah said as the girl got up, came around the table and hugged her.

"For what?"

"For trying to make this easier."

Sam thought the girl sounded wise beyond her years. "We'll figure all this out. Little by little," Sam said.

"Yeah," both kids agreed. And they went back to their dinners.


	8. Chapter 7

"Colonel O'Neill," General Hammond greeted from behind his desk. "Come in."

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Jack withheld a grimace. It wasn't unusual for him to be on base on a Saturday, but these days he had places he'd rather be. Even if he didn't have an express invitation.

"Have a seat," the General invited.

Jack sat down in one of the visitor chairs uneasily, clearly this wasn't a quick request.

"It's been two weeks, Colonel. It's time to replace Major Carter on SG-1."

Jack slumped in his chair slightly. It wasn't that he didn't want a full team, it wasn't even that he wanted Sam to come back, not really considering the circumstances, but it felt like the end of an era he wasn't ready to see the end of.

"We don't have anyone with Major Carter's exact skill set," the General continued, "but I'd like you to consider another Air Force scientist."

"Did you have anyone in particular in mind, sir?" He tried to keep the distate out of his voice. He didn't really want another scientist, but at least it was somebody military.

"Captain Hawthorne."

"The new kid?"

"He's a physicist, Jack. Major Carter recommended him for the program herself several months ago."

"You sure you don't want to pull one of the existing team members?"

"I thought about that, but you know as well as I do that these teams are well oiled machines. Why disrupt two when one is enough?"

The General slid a dossier across his desk to Jack. Jack picked it up and started flipping through it. He read through a few of the documents before he had to admit, "He does look good on paper. Have you asked Carter what she thinks of him for SG-1?"

A smile played around the General's mouth. "I thought I'd let you do that."

Jack could help but grimace – not because he didn't want to talk to her about it but because apparently the General was amused by the fact that he'd have to. Which likely meant the man was as in on the poorly-kept secret SG-1 carried around as the rest of them were. Well, that was embarrassing. And more than a little worrisome considering having feelings for your second in command was a pretty big no-no. He sighed. "Yes, sir."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"But I don't want to go to the grocery store, Aunt Sam," Ben whined. And Sam could swear, through all of this, she hadn't heard him whine once.

"Well, we can't keep eating takeout, breakfast, and spaghetti. And this is the best way for us to get foods we're all going to like."

So she loaded the kids into the minivan and off they went to King Soopers.

Things were fine in the produce department – the kids liked fruits and didn't turn their noses up at the idea of vegetables. It went smoothly on the cereal aisle where they compromised and ended up with something that didn't come with marshmallows. The kids were fans of a canned chicken noodle soup that came with little star shaped noodles – Sam had to admit she got a kick out of that. As a matter of fact, it all went well until they got to the meat department.

"So... what do you guys like to eat?"

"Pot roast," Hannah said immediately. Which would have been fine except Sam had no idea which of the roast looking hunks of beef were pot roasts nor what to do with one once she had it. "Mom made it with potatoes and carrots."

Sam peered into the basket. There were, in fact, potatoes and carrots amongst her groceries. Sam looked back and forth, up and down the row of meat. There was an older woman with a full cart of groceries down by the pork. Sam steeled herself. "Okay," she muttered, and started off towards the woman.

"Excuse me," Sam said.

"Yes?" the woman said with a kind smile.

"I was wondering... do you happen to know which of those," Sam pointed at the packages of beef, "make a good pot roast?"

The woman looked confused for a moment but Sam figured she must have looked appropriately out of her depth because the woman smiled. "Try a chuck roast. And the directions are on the label," she said with a wink.

Sam sighed. "Thank you."

Sam walked back towards the children where Hannah was agog. "Did you just ask that woman which..."

"Yes," Sam said almost haughtily. "I did. So... help me find chuck roast." It took a couple moments of looking but Sam found them with bones and without. She opted for no bone figuring it would be easier and placed a large looking roast in the basket.

"Okay, what else?"

"Chicken," Ben said.

Sam perused the chicken and decided, if she was going to try this cooking thing, she was going for broke and picked up a whole roaster.

They went on like this until Sam figured she had the makings of five meals. She found cookbooks on one aisle and threw one of those into the basket as well.

In frozen foods she caved and bought a carton of ice cream, but from the dairy department she bought a dozen yogurts the kids oohed and aahed over. She picked up a few other items that seemed like staple ingredients and then, they hit the checkout line. Sam checked her watch and was surprised to find they'd been in the store for an hour. She didn't think she'd ever been shopping for so long!

By the time they got home, the kids dispersed to their bedrooms to play and Sam was left with the groceries to put away and then to try to make into something resembling dinner. She set the pot roast out on the counter and gave it a long, wan look. Okay, she thought, game on.

Which was, of course, the moment the phone rang.

"Carter," she answered without checking the caller ID.

"Hey," the colonel's warm, rich voice greeted her.

"What do you know about pot roast?" she preempted anything he was about to say.

"Um..."

"Nevermind," she said with a sigh. "I'll figure it out."

He chuckled lowly. "You're really going to give this cooking thing a shot, aren't you?"

"Well, it can't be that hard. And I've got a cookbook."

"You'll be fine," he predicted.

"Yes. I will be."

"Listen, Carter-" he broke off like he wasn't sure how to say whatever it was he called about.

"Yeah?"

She could hear him blow out a breath through pursed lips. "What do you know about Captain Ethan Hawthorne?"

"I know I recommended him for the program a few months ago. He's an experimental physicist."

"Does that mean he can do what you can do?"

"In what way, sir?"

"I mean, if he replaced you on SG-1, am I going to get out of all the scrapes you got me out of?"

She laughed outright. "Well, I don't know. But I can tell you he's a good officer."

"Hammond thinks this is my guy."

"I don't think you'd be disappointed."

"It's weird talking about this with you," he confessed suddenly.

"Why?"

"It's your replacement, Carter!"

"It's not like this is a punishment. I asked to be reassigned."

"I know, I know... it's just, it feels like your spot."

She couldn't help the sudden burst of emotion she felt. "It still feels like my spot to me, too."

"Hence the weirdness, Carter."

"I think Hawthorne is a good choice."

"He's awfully young."

"So was I when you took me on, and look how that turned out."

"You're still awfully young."

"Compared to what?" she wanted to know.

He cleared his throat on the other end of the line but didn't answer her question. Instead he said, "So, Hawthorne."

"Give him a shot, sir, you won't be sorry."

"I'm holding you to that."

"Okay."

They said their goodbyes after that and she was left alone with her pot roast wondering about the undertones to that conversation. She had the feeling they'd said somethings that they hadn't said aloud but she wasn't completely certain what they were.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack knocked on Sam's door as he checked his watch. He was early. But he hadn't talked to her since Saturday and four days was longer than his brain or his body were willing to go without hearing her voice, it seemed. The door swung open and he was greeted by Ben.

"Aunt Sam is still getting ready," he said with the disgust only a young boy could convey. "She's taking forever."

"It's not time to go yet, anyway," Jack pointed out.

"But we've never been there before! What if we get lost?"

"You're not going to get lost. Sam knows exactly where she's going."

Ben sighed dramatically and Jack had to hide his grin. The boy was very excited to head to his Navigators meeting.

"So how are you enjoying science camp?"

"It's cool. But I'm not old enough until next year to do the really cool experiments."

"What are the really cool experiments?"

"Making things blow up!"

Blow up? What the hell kind of camp had Carter sent the kids to? "So, what are you doing instead?"

"We've gotten to mix chemicals to make foam, and colored smoke. We made volcanoes. And we went on a bug hunt. Hannah didn't like that very much at all."

Jack chuckled. "I bet she didn't."

"Jack?" Ben asked suddenly serious.

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could take me to Navigators instead of Aunt Sam?"

Not that Jack minded but, "Why don't you want Sam to take you?"

"She'd be okay, but..."

"But what?" Jack asked and laid a big hand on the small boy's shoulder.

"But it's mostly boys and their dads and it's already weird I'm not going to be there with my dad and then... she's my  _aunt_."

"Oh. I see." Jack could sympathize. It was never fun to be the odd man out. "Well, if it's okay with Sam, I'll take you."

"Really?" the little boy's features lit up with delight.

"But we'll ask her. We don't want to hurt her feelings, right?"

The smile fell off Ben's face. "No."

"Okay, so we'll ask."

Which was how he ended up in his truck with a very excited seven year old while he left a grateful Sam behind with Hannah. Sam's day had been long and filled with headache inducing issues from scientists, apparently. She'd been relieved when Ben and Jack had asked her if they could go together.

Jack, for his part, wasn't quite sure how to feel. On one hand it was nice to do something with the kid, he liked him. But on the other hand, it felt like something that poked at the tender places left inside him after the loss of his son. But how could he explain that to Ben? He couldn't. So he steeled himself for the painful moments by deciding to focus on the fun.

If nothing else, he got to do something nice for Sam and it gave him the ability to bond with one of the kids which, when he thought about it, would only be helpful when it came to  _moving forward_.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam collapsed onto the couch with a grateful sigh. The colonel had agreed to take Ben to his Navigators meeting leaving her behind at home with Hannah and her work induced headache. She'd taken some ibuprofen as soon as she'd walked in the door but so far it hadn't seemed to help.

She hadn't quite yet adjusted to getting the kids ready and dropped off at camp, then getting to the mountain, working all day then flying back out at a predetermined time to pick the kids  _up_  from camp. It was stressful. And she felt like she wasn't getting enough done at work. She'd worked straight through lunch the last three days and still felt like she was leaving in the middle of all her projects.

She was just thankful she had a couple of hours before Ben would be back because she hadn't even begun to think about dinner yet. She tilted her head back to rest on the couch and let her eyes slip closed, feeling her head pound in time with her heartbeat.

"Aunt Sam?" Hannah asked quietly from the doorway.

Sam didn't even bother to open her eyes. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Sweetie. I just have a headache."

"Oh," the girl said and sat down gently on the couch next to Sam. "Then I guess it's good Jack is taking Ben to his meeting tonight."

"It was very nice of him, yes."

"Aunt Sam?" Hannah asked again.

Sam opened one eye and peered at the girl. "Yes?"

"Is Jack your boyfriend?"

Sam's other eye flew open and she sat up more quickly than her headache appreciated. "No!"  _Okay,_  Sam thought,  _that response may have been a little too emphatic_. And come to think of it, if she didn't know better, she might think there  _was_  something going on between them considering how much time they'd been spending together.

"Oh."

"Why?" Sam asked carefully.

"Well, he's around a lot. And you talk to him on the phone or on text a lot. And he's really nice. And now he's taken Ben to Navigators. And I just thought..."

"He's a friend."

"Oh."

That's twice the girl had said  _Oh_  in response to Sam's declaration. And she didn't sound pleased. "Why?"

"No reason."

"Hannah." Sam tried to sound stern while keeping her voice light, it was tough.

"Well, it's just... I like him being around."

"Okay. Good."

"And I don't want him to stop coming around."

"Why would he stop?"

"I don't know."

"But you're afraid of things being different again." Sam said and Hannah nodded. "It's only been a few weeks, it's going to take a while for things to settle into a rhythm. We don't know what that looks like, yet."

"But do you think Jack's going to not come around so much once we're normal again?"

"You think he's here because he thinks we need him right now?"

Hannah just shrugged.

"Well, the colonel is a very busy man. I'm not sure he'll always be able to be around so much," Sam warned, "but he's never more than a phone call away. His number is on the fridge in the kitchen under Janet's. So if you need him, you can call him, okay?" Sam hoped it was okay to tell the girl that, though he did seem to be okay with being around and being part of things. He'd been very... present since everything had happened. Almost like the last several years hadn't happened at all and like they were still doing whatever it was they were doing that got them in trouble with the Za'tarc tests in the first place.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ben hung back a little in his first meeting with the new Navigators group so Jack found himself slightly more involved than he envisioned as he tried to keep Ben active. The boy seemed to enjoy the activities but all the new people appeared to be a bit overwhelming. He stuck pretty close to Jack.

By the time the meeting was over he was hungry and Ben was too. He texted Sam and offered to bring dinner back to the house for all of them and she instantly texted him back with  _Thank you_. He could practically hear the relief in her voice and he wondered if she still had her headache.

They stopped off on the way home for pizza. And once the boy had two hot pizza boxes on his lap he turned chatty.

"Thanks for taking me tonight."

"You're welcome. It was fun."

"Do you want to come next week?"

Jack wouldn't have minded going  _every_  week, but the truth was, sometimes he'd be off world and right now he didn't know where he'd be this time next week. "If I'm not tied up with work, I'd like to."

"When will you know?"

"I'll keep Sam updated and she can let you know, okay?"

"Okay."

They rode in silence for thirty seconds of bliss Jack would come to appreciate in the next moments. "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Aunt Sam your girlfriend?"

If he'd had been drinking he'd have done a spit take. As it was, he was gaping at the windshield. "Uh, no, buddy, she's not."

"How come?"

Oh, how to answer that question? "Well, relationships are complicated."

"Do you like her?"

"Yeah, I like her," Jack answered before he remembered that there was a difference between like and  _like_  and he wasn't sure which one Ben was asking about. Then he realized the answer didn't change, no matter what Ben had meant.

"Do you want her to be your girlfriend?"

Now Jack was at a crossroads. Did he blow the kid off or did he shoot for honesty? On one hand, telling him the truth meant the possibility that the information might get back to Sam. Would that be so bad? Jack decided that no, it wouldn't be. On the other hand, he could lie to the kid and the kid would never really know. Unless something started between Jack and Sam and then Ben would always know Jack hadn't shot him straight and he didn't want to start a relationship with the boy that way.

"Yes."

"Have you told her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Like I said," Jack said after a long moment, "relationships are complicated."

"If you want her to be your girlfriend, you should just tell her."

"You think?"

"Yeah."

"Well, kid," he said as they pulled into Sam's driveway, "I'll take that under advisement."


	9. Chapter 8

It was the slamming of the door that really grated on Sam's nerves, not the argument with the girl. She'd heard her brother and sister-in-law talk a little bit about how Hannah had been changing, but what had just happened felt like something that Sam should have been able to wait until the teen years for.

It had started over, well, Sam wasn't really sure. They were talking about camp and then next thing Sam knew Hannah was all in a tizzy. Sam still couldn't decide what they'd been arguing about, but when Sam had told Hannah not to raise her voice the girl had gone shrill and angry. And then had come the running off to her room and slamming the door.

Sam sighed. It had been a tough day.

Ten minutes later, Hannah burst out of her room with the cordless telephone in one hand and her backpack in the other. She slammed the phone down onto its base and then made for the front door. "Jack's coming to get me."

 _Oh he is, is he?_  Sam thought hotly. She hadn't even known Hannah had bothered to memorize his number. "Where are you going?" she asked instead.

"To wait on the front porch."

The girl left the house none too quietly. Sam peeked out the front door to make sure she really had waited on the front porch as she'd indicated she would. She had.

Sam went to the phone and dialed the colonel's cell phone.

"Carter," he said with a sigh, "I didn't know what else to do."

"So you just said you'd come get her?"

"She sounded like she was having a rough day."

Tears sprang into Sam's eyes. She was having a rough day too and there was nowhere for her to run to.

The colonel must have heard her hesitation. "Maybe you've had a rough day, too."

Sam bit her lip and tried to reign in her emotions.

"Look," he said with a sigh. "Why don't I come get her, take her out for ice cream or something, give her a chance to cool off then I'll bring her home and you two can talk it out?"

"Her attitude has been bad all day and you're going to reward her with ice cream?" Sam asked angrily, but with tears thickening her voice. She knew she had to sound like a mess.

"Okay, I'll take her to the park and we'll sit down and talk."

"She's packed a bag, Jack," Sam said hotly and then froze. She'd just called him by his first name. Granted, it wasn't disallowed, she'd just never done it before, not since Antarctica and then he'd been too far gone to know what liberty she'd taken.

It didn't seem to faze him. "Let me pick her up, cool her off a little."

"No rewards, for bad behavior."

"Okay, fair enough. I'll be there in ten."

Sam sighed and hung up the phone. Ten minutes later she heard his truck in her driveway. It idled there for a minute and then she watched as he backed out of her driveway and headed in the direction of the park.

An hour later she was in the kitchen getting a chicken ready to go into the oven when she heard the front door open and little girl footsteps move down the hall. Hannah went into her bedroom, this time quietly.

The colonel wandered through her house, his footsteps heavier, until he found her. Her emotions were still running high and the wary look he gave her was enough to make tears well up and roll over her lash line. She turned away from him. Went to the sink to wash her hands. He stepped up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "She's okay, Sam."

Sam just nodded through watery vision, her back still to him.

"I think she's just really missing her folks today and she doesn't know how to deal with it."

Sam nodded again.

"Your hands are clean enough," he said gruffly and turned her around by the shoulders. He looked down at her face, the water still ran behind her, she stared down at his chest, hiding her eyes as best she could. He pulled her into his body, she raised her wet hands between them so they were pressed between their chests. He wrapped his arms around her. "There are going to be bad days."

"She was just so... all day..."

"Yeah."

"And I lost my temper with her."

"It's going to happen."

"And then she slammed that door, I'm not sure I've ever been so mad."

"Just because you love them doesn't mean you aren't going to be mad at them sometimes."

She nodded. She could feel his heart beating under her right hand. She suddenly noticed they were pressed together from shoulders to thighs, her feet were between both of his and she started noticing things like the way his body felt pressed against hers. She felt herself begin to relax in his hold, felt the tears that had been threatening all day, the ones that had started to fall, recede into background noise. She smelled him, so familiar. He surrounded her and it calmed her.

"I'm glad she called you."

"Me too. But she owes you an apology and she knows that."

"That's why she went right to her room?"

"I asked her to give us some time."

She pushed back from him, but he left his arms looped around her waist so she was leaning back into his hands. "It's only been a month and already this is so hard."

"You're doing it by yourself, Carter. It's tough even when there are two adults around all the time. So if she wants to call me when she's having a bad day, and if I can talk to her, if I can help her, I think that's a good thing."

"Me too," she had to admit. It felt good to have backup.

He lifted one hand off her back then leaned into her. She didn't know what was happening until she heard the water behind her shut off. But their position was precarious, she was leaning back over the arm he still had around her, it pressed her hips flush into his and she felt an instant bolt of arousal that didn't feel friendly at all. She flicked her eyes up to his and saw him looking at her intently. He repositioned them so that they were standing upright completely and then he released her. She missed his arms immediately and it felt like something she should berate herself for but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Why don't you go talk to Hannah," he said. "I'll finish getting dinner in the oven."

"Okay," she said quietly, her head still reeling from the moments of intimacy they'd just shared. She stepped around him and made off down the hallway to Hannah's room. The door was shut. Sam raised her hand and knocked.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack washed his hands before he started fussing with the chicken she had in a roasting pan. There were herbs out on the counter and a cookbook opened to a roasted chicken recipe he didn't need. He was kicking himself a little for the way he'd taken her in his arms. It wasn't unusual to hold her, and it wasn't like they hadn't had moments of closeness since all of this had begun, but he had made an agreement with himself to leave the ball in her court and here he was, doing whatever he was doing.

Though... perhaps it was a good thing. Leaving the ball in her court was one thing, but letting her think he was disinterested wasn't a good idea. She had to know there was something worth stepping out of her comfort zone for, didn't she?

He sighed and finished preparing the chicken for the oven.

It was harder than he'd thought it would be to leave things up to her. She had so much going on in her world right now that he understood the hold up, but that didn't make it any easier. It had been a full month and then some since her brother's death. She'd been home for two weeks, a full time caregiver during that time making life adjustments he could only appreciate.

But it didn't make the desire to be with her any less sharp. Not seeing her every day was an adjustment for  _him_. He hadn't realized how much easier that had made it to sublimate his desires, knowing she was still so close. But now, sometimes he went days without seeing her or talking to her and it made the desire for her all the more acute.

He moved on to the potatoes. He peeled them, not knowing what her plans for them were, but mashed sounded good to him. He'd worked his way through the rest of the ingredients for dinner by the time she reappeared, her eyes red rimmed like she'd been crying, but she looked a great deal more relaxed than she had when he'd first come in.

"She apologized."

"Good."

"I did, too."

"That's probably good, too."

"You should stay for dinner," she said, a bit incongruously.

"Carter, you don't have to-"

"No," she cut him off. "We'd like you to stay.  _I'd_  like you to stay."

"Not quite ready to be alone with her yet?"

"It's not that," she hedged. "I just... I really appreciate what you did for us today. That could have gotten a lot uglier. And I was  _so mad_  at her when she told me she'd called you and that you were coming to get her. But you ended up being the exact thing we both needed."

He wasn't sure he'd ever heard her say something so laden with emotion. He wanted to touch her again, so he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. He thought she leaned into him a little. That had to be a good sign, right? He thought maybe this thing with Hannah had been exactly what they both needed. She needed to know she had help, he needed to know they wanted his help.

"Why were you mad that I was coming to get her?"

She blushed. "It's stupid."

"Why, Sam?"

She bit her lip before she confessed. "I was jealous that she had somewhere to run to and I didn't."

He didn't have to tell her that her running days were over, she had responsibilities now and she couldn't just take off when things got rough. But he wasn't sure how to tell her that she could call on him whenever she needed to without it sounding too...  _something_ that he wasn't completely comfortable with.

He finally settled on something that sounded a little less sentimental. "I meant it when I said it's hard for two people to do this, Sam. I can't imagine what it must be like to face it alone. But... if you need me, I'm here."

She reached out and snagged one of his hands with her own and gave it a little squeeze. While he reveled in the feel of her soft, warm skin, she said, "Thank you."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Dinner was a quiet affair. Sam kept trying to draw conversation out of Hannah or Ben but with little more than one word answers in response. Finally, she set her fork down and folded her hands in front of her. "Okay, what's going on?"

Hannah looked up at her almost warily. Sam knew the girl was still smarting from their argument, even if they had apologized to one another. "Nothing."

Sam studied Hannah until she was convinced there was nothing new on that front. Then she turned to the other unusually quiet child. "Ben?"

Ben shoveled a forkful of green beans in his mouth and shook his head.

But Sam wasn't buying it. "Ben? What is it?"

The boy heaved a dramatic sigh and shot a glance at the colonel first and then turned his eyes onto her and blurted out, "Are you gonna send us back to that place in California?"

"What place?" Sam asked, confused.

"Where we stayed the night mom and dad died."

Sam gasped. "No! Why would you think that?"

"Because you and Hannah were yelling at each other."

"Oh Ben-" Sam started at the exact moment Hannah said, "We're not mad at each other anymore."

Sam felt tears flood her eyes. She wasn't a crier by nature, but this day had worn her down. "And even if we were still mad, I'd  _never_  send you back. You understand?" she asked strongly, waiting for a nod from Ben. "And you?" she looked at Hannah who nodded also. "There is nothing either one of you could ever do that would make me send you away."

She exchanged a glance with the colonel who was watching the drama unfold before him while he chewed a bite of chicken. He nodded at her slightly and she took it as encouragement.

"Sometimes we'll be mad at each other, but it doesn't mean we don't love each other, right?"

Ben looked at Hannah as if awaiting her answer. "Right," she said. Sam was sure Hannah was being as stalwart as she was for her little brother's sake.

"Right," Ben said not quite as surely.

"You don't have to worry," Sam said to Ben. "I won't send you away. No matter what?"

"What if you die like mom and dad did?" he blurted out.

Sam was momentarily floored. She hadn't made arrangements for what would happen to the kids if something happened to her. Not yet, anyway. She began to panic. What should she say?

"Nothing's going to happen," the colonel said from across the table. "And if it does, the adults will deal with it."

"If you die, Aunt Sam, does that mean we'll have to live with grandpa?" Hannah piped up.

"I don't know," Sam said seriously, "but probably not."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because Grandpa has a very important job and he can't leave it."

"You can't leave your job either, but we came to live with you," she pointed out, very unhelpfully, in Sam's opinion.

"You kids don't need to be worried about this right now," the colonel said.

"It kinda feels like we do," Hannah said softly.

"Sweetie, nothing's going to happen to me," Sam said definitively even though she had no way of really promising that, she'd seriously decreased the chances by leaving SG-1 and she was suddenly very glad she had. "But I will make arrangements."

She met the colonel's eye again and he gave her a slow, steady nod. She gave him a grim smile. The kids went back to their dinners, seemingly mollified. Sam, though, no longer had an appetite.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He stayed until the kids went to bed, not because he needed to talk to her – though the dinner conversation suggested that maybe he should – but because he wanted to spend some time with her. They sat together on the couch, facing one another, one shoulder each snugged up against the back of the couch, drinking Cabernet out of Chardonnay glasses. The twenty-four hour news channel was on in the background and there was some story about the Middle East he was trying hard not to hear any of. She was quiet.

"You don't have to make a decision tonight."

"But they were right, you know?"

"When did Mark make the arrangements for you to take the kids?"

"A couple years ago? Why?"

"That means he had the kids for years before he decided who should take them if something happened to him."

"But it would have been me anyway. What if something  _does_  happen to me?"

"Well, you still don't have to make a decision tonight."

"I've got no one to choose."

"Carter," he said with a sigh.

But she cut him off with a held up hand. "No. They were right," she said again.

"Your dad can ditch the Tok'ra."

"You know that's not true."

"SG-1 can do it," he said, teasing her, trying to lighten the mood.

"I can't leave my kids to a military unit," she said, missing the joke completely.

He reached out and covered her hand with his. "Joking, Carter."

"Oh," she huffed. "Well."

"I can do it," slipped out of his mouth without his express permission. Serious this time.

She gaped at him. "I couldn't ask you to-"

"You're not asking. I'm offering."

"You'd have to-"

"Leave SG-1, I know. I'm not getting any younger, Sam, it's going to have to happen sometime. Besides, what are the chances something's going to happen to you?"

She set her wine glass down on her knee and turned it back and forth with the hand he hadn't appropriated. She pulled her hand out from under his. "Well, I don't have to make a decision tonight, do I?"

He didn't take offense to her letting go of the subject, he knew it wasn't personal, it was that it was too  _personal_. Hell, he never should have said it, not at this juncture, but it felt like the thing to say. And he  _could_  do it, if it came to it. Hell, he liked the kids, and he'd only get to know them better. They liked him too. It could work. If it had to. But he was seriously getting ahead of himself.

"I think today's argument has you feeling a little off course," he offered.

"I just don't know what happened. Do you?"

He shook his head. "I don't even know what the fight was about. But I got it out of her that she was missing her parents and she took it out on you. I don't think you two were even fighting so much as you were bashing your emotions together."

"Today was too damned hard."

He could relate. He remembered those days of parenting and he'd never made it to the pre-teen years. "It's gonna get hard sometimes."

"I don't know if I'm cut out for this. I miss so many things about my life before and I feel awful for missing them. But I had a life I really loved."

"I know."

"I don't even want to get on my bike anymore because I'm afraid I'm going to be in an accident and then what?"

"The sharpness of all of this is going to fade, eventually. And you'll feel more like going back to your regular life. You'll take risks again. Maybe not as many, but you'll take them. Because life is short, Sam. And you can't worry through all of it."

His gaze dropped to her mouth when she licked wine off her lips. She caught him looking and the air between them was suddenly charged. He cleared his throat and set his mostly empty glass down on the coffee table. "I should get going." She just nodded. He smiled at her, got up, patted her shoulder and left, wondering exactly what she had been thinking when he'd been thinking about kissing her.


	10. Chapter 9

"Can we do something fun this weekend?" Hannah asked over breakfast.

"Camp's fun," Ben said around a mouthful of cereal.

"I meant all together. With Aunt Sam."

Sam looked up from the report she was reading. "Like what?"

"I don't know," the girl said and went back to her cereal.

Sam had been thinking about things she could do with the kids. She felt kind of bad dumping them into day camp but she had to work. Perhaps they should all go do something together. "Movies?" she asked then took a sip of coffee that was still just a bit too warm.

"Boring," Ben said.

"Okay," Sam said and tried again, "bowling?"

Both kids shrugged.

Then she had a bolt of, she thought, pure genius. "Camping?"

Both kids perked up a little. "Where?"

"Up in the mountains. There are lots of campsites."

"Like real camping with tents and a campfire?" Hannah demanded.

"Yep," Sam said with a smile. "What do you think?"

"Can Jack go?" Ben wanted to know.

Sam faltered. One, she didn't know what the mission roster looked liked for the weekend. For all she knew the colonel would be off world with SG-1. Two, she wasn't sure how excited he'd been to give up his weekend, assuming he had one, to go camping with her and the kids. Three, she wasn't sure it was such a great idea, anyway, considering her  _friends_  campaign. Not that she hadn't done her fair share of camping with the colonel over the years without stressing their relationship past the point of propriety. But the kids were looking at her with hopeful eyes. She relented. "I'll ask him," she promised, "but he might not want or be able to go."

"He'll want to," Ben said with authority.

Sam gave Ben a sidelong glance. "Well, if he doesn't we're not going to give him a hard time about it, okay?"

"Okay," the children agreed.

Which is how she found herself standing in his office later that morning asking him if he wanted to go camping with her and the kids that weekend. "I didn't know if you were off-world or-"

"I'm not," he interrupted. "Sounds like fun."

"Really?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well, I've never known you to go camping for fun..."

"I go to my cabin for fun, that's just one step up from camping. Besides, Carter, I spend more nights in a tent than most people do. If I didn't enjoy camping I went into the wrong line of work."

"Sir, I've heard you complain about sleeping on the ground."

He gave her a rakish grin, "I'm just not as young as I once was. Doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy a nice, leisurely camping trip. It'd be nice to camp somewhere we don't have to set up a watch rota."

She smiled. "Yes, sir."

"So tell the kids thanks for the invite," he said as if he somehow knew she'd had reservations.

"I will," she gave him a fond smile and she saw how his smile softened into something more personal. It made her belly tingle. She cleared her throat. "We'll head up Friday evening, if that's okay. We should be able to get the tents set up before dark."

"Eh," he scoffed, "we could put those things up blindfolded if we had to."

She laughed. "Yes, sir."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It turned out the colonel had a family sized tent he offered the use of. So they packed up all their gear and loaded it into the bed of his truck next to the tent.

"The weather's supposed to be great," he said to her as he hoisted the cooler in last against the tailgate.

"Good. They've never been camping before. I'd hate to introduce them to it in bad conditions."

"You really want them to like camping, don't you?"

"Well... yeah."

"I didn't realize you enjoyed it so much," he said.

"Well, I haven't camped for fun much in the last seven years, but now that I'm not going, well you know, it's nice to have the opportunity to sit around a campfire."

"In the dead of summer," he teased.

"Even then." They were going to Cheyenne Mountain State Park. It would be plenty cool in the evenings for a fire and they both knew that.

"Are we ready?" Ben called, bounding out of the house.

"Just waiting on you two," the colonel confirmed.

"I can't wait to go camping!" the little boy exclaimed.

"Are there going to be bathrooms?" Hannah asked, clearly not excited about the prospect of peeing in the woods.

"About a hundred and fifty feet from the campsite," the colonel confirmed. He then looked at Ben and said conspiratorially, "Girls," and shook his head.

"Aunt Sam says it's not really camping if you don't have to dig a latrine," Hannah said.

"Well, we'll let  _Aunt Sam_  dig a latrine if that's what lights her fire," the colonel said to the girl, "but the rest of us will use the facilities like civilized human beings." He tossed a grin at Sam.

She rolled her eyes at him before she caught herself. One did not simply roll their eyes at their commanding officer. And then it hit her, not for the first time, the memory that he was no longer her commanding officer. He might be a superior officer but really they were colleagues. Friends. She could roll her eyes at him if she wanted to –  _outside_  the mountain. When she returned her eyes to his, his were sparkling with mirth. Apparently he didn't mind the insubordinate side of her.

They all climbed into the truck, the kids in the backseat, and set off for the park. It wasn't a long drive, twenty minutes from her door to the parking area. She thought about what it would be like to take them on a trip they really had to travel for and hoped they'd enjoy camping enough that she could do that with them.

At the campground, the colonel pulled his truck into one of the last available parking spaces. He showed the kids where the bathrooms were and Sam suddenly realized he'd been there before. She wondered, had he brought Charlie camping at the same place? He'd offered to make the reservations and she'd just assumed he was being nice, but perhaps he was using prior knowledge. She gave him a look that he studiously avoided.

Next, Sam and the colonel slung packs with their gear onto their backs and gave the kids' backpacks to them. The kids each carried two collapsible canvas chairs. The adults carried the cooler between them. It didn't take them long to hike into the campsite, they could have made two trips but half the fun was being laden down with gear.

"Here we are," the colonel said when they arrived, "site forty-seven."

Sam looked around at the campsite. There was a picnic table, a fire pit, and a large tent pad that the colonel's family sized tent would fit on nicely.

"Okay," Hannah said, "this is cool."

"It's beautiful out here," Sam commented.

"Look!" Ben pointed at the fire pit. "Can we build a fire?"

"When it starts to get dark," the colonel said and smiled indulgently. "We need to get the tent up first."

Sam and the colonel worked well together and could have raised the tent in minutes just the two of them, but the camping was for the kids and they wanted to help. That turned into allowing them to do most of the work while Sam and the colonel directed. It took some doing, but finally, with a little help from the colonel towards the end, the tent was raised and the kids were walking around inside it oohing and aahing over the size and the screen windows.

"It's a great tent, sir," Sam said, because it was. It could easily sleep six so she knew they'd all be comfortable in it.

"I've had it for years," he said and she knew, then, that he'd bought it when he had a family. He  _had_ brought Charlie out here camping. Maybe, even, to the very same campsite they were currently using.

"When were you last camping?" she asked him. "You know, here on earth," she said quietly to avoid the little ears that were still inspecting the tent.

"I brought the family, the summer before Charlie..."

"Yeah," she said quickly when he began to falter.

"Sara hated it," he said with a wistful smile. "But Charlie loved it so much she agreed to come along sometimes."

"It's not for everyone," Sam said pragmatically.

"No," he said with a wry laugh. "She always said  _roughing it_  was a motel without cable."

Sam laughed. It brought the kids out of the tent and into the open underneath the shade of the tall trees where Sam and the colonel were standing. "So what's next?" Ben wanted to know.

The colonel looked at his watch. "Well, it's going to be getting dark in about an hour and a half. Let's round up some stuff for a campfire and then we can get dinner on."

He directed the kids on finding kindling and then larger pieces to keep the fire going. Sam, once she realized that he was really in his element out in the Colorado woods with kids, hung back and let him have his fun. While they looked for firewood and then had a lesson in building a good fire, she went through the cooler pulling out the foil packets that held their dinners that could be cooked over the campfire: incredibly healthy and appealing loaded french fries. Sam just shrugged as she pulled the food out of the cooler, it was part of the fun of camping. And it was easy. She'd gotten a book full of camping recipes and it seemed like something she could handle. Maybe next time she'd be up to something more... culinary.

She set up the canvas chairs around the fire while the colonel was still showing the kids the ins and outs of fire building. She pulled out bottles of water for each of them and put them in the cup holders in the arms of each chair and, before she knew it, they were all sitting down around the campfire waiting for it to die down enough to put the food on.

"This is fun," Ben said.

"Yeah?" Sam asked a little unsure, still hoping the kids would love one of her favorite activities. She sorely missed traveling off world with SG-1 and it had only been six weeks since she'd been on a mission. But the evenings spent around a fire were a fond memory. And even if Daniel and Teal'c weren't around, though she'd love it if they were a part of the evening and she thought about inviting them next time even if it was just for dinner and around the fire, it was still nice sitting shoulder to shoulder with the colonel.

"Definitely," Hannah said, pulling Sam from her reverie.

"Of course it's fun, Carter. We're fun people."

She smiled at the colonel. He smiled right back and her stomach did a funny little flop. Oh geez.  _Friends,_  she reminded herself. But it was tough to remember that she just wanted a friend rather than something complicated when he was sitting right there, in his element. Looking so good in his jeans and a grey t-shirt, how had she not noticed how good he looked before?

She thought about what it would be like to touch him, even as innocently as they'd touched in California. He licked his lips and suddenly the flop her belly had done was just the tip of the iceberg of the things that were happening in her body. So much for  _friends,_ she thought. One simply didn't feel this way about friends.

She broke the long gaze they'd held and looked at the fire and judged it to be just right to cook their dinner. Or, really, she judged that she'd better get to cooking dinner before she did something stupid.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack leaned back in his chair and balled up the foil that had held his dinner. He was surprised, to say the least, that Sam was letting the kids get away with eating such junk for dinner but he figured they all got a pass since they were camping.

He looked around at the kids still eating and Sam picking at her french fries – and looking for all the world like she just wanted a salad – and wondered if he'd done the right thing bringing them to the same campsite he'd visited with his son. There were a lot of good memories in this place for him and he wanted to make more good memories knowing that it would be easy to be melancholy about this place.

It already felt like an emotionally charged evening with the looks he'd been exchanging with Sam. She looked like a woman who wanted something. Perhaps something like him. He was afraid to get his hopes up – after all it had been a month since she'd been home with the kids and she'd pretty well put the brakes on anything that seemed to be happening between them while they were in California – but the looks she was tossing his way were, not to put too fine a point on it, heated.

They were sitting close together. Close enough that he could reach out and brush the back of her hand with his fingers without moving from his reclined position. He'd purposely moved his chair closer to hers while her back was turned both to keep his face out of the smoke the way the wind was blowing as well as just to be closer to her. He figured, once the kids went to bed, they'd sit out by the fire for a while, talking. They didn't get much chance to just talk anymore, the two of them. And maybe then he'd touch her.

For the moment, though, he needed a distraction. He'd personally packed two large bags of marshmallows – as well as a box of graham crackers and some chocolate bars, but those could wait until tomorrow – one of which was earmarked for roasted marshmallows on their first night around a campfire. He went to retrieve one of the bags of marshmallows and produced four wire coat hangers from his pack.

"Okay, kids, time for dessert."

Sam groaned and put a hand on her belly. "No more junk."

Jack grinned at her, "Just a little more junk. We're camping!"

"What is it?" Hannah wanted to know.

Jack held the bag of marshmallows aloft.

"Roasted marshmallows!" both kids exclaimed with excitement.

Jack sat down in his chair and handed the bag of marshmallows to Sam. He began to unfurl the coat hangers until they were long, straight wires.

"I thought we were supposed to use sticks," Sam said with a grin.

"It's all fun and games until you end up taking a bite of tree, Carter."

"I'd rather use the coat hanger," Hannah said.

"Me too," Jack agreed. He passed the coat hangers around as he completed his work and finally they were all roasting marshmallows. He and the kids set theirs on fire. Sam, predictably, held hers just far enough away to achieve an even, golden brown. "Perfectionist," he teased her quietly as she delicately ate her marshmallow off the end of her coat hanger.

She gave him a brilliant smile.

They worked their way through more than half the bag of marshmallows before the kids started yawning.

"Time for bed already?" Jack asked them.

"They had a big day at camp," Sam said. "And it is starting to get late."

Jack checked his watch. It was coming on twenty-two hundred. "Then let's get those sleeping bags rolled out."

It took a while but soon the kids had been to the bathroom, changed into their PJs and were snuggled down in their sleeping bags between the empty sleeping bags Sam and Jack would occupy later on.

Jack waved Sam back into her chair and then went to the cooler and grabbed a couple of beers out of the bottom. He twisted the cap off both and handed one to her as he sat down next to her. It felt like their chairs were even closer than before as his elbow brushed against hers.

"Thanks," she said.

"So," he drawled, "tonight was fun."

"They seem to be enjoying themselves," Sam said and looked back at the tent when they heard a giggle.

"Tomorrow will be good."

"I think so, too. You're sure the archery field is open?"

"Seven days a week," he confirmed.

"Good." She slouched down in her chair a bit and tilted her head back to look at the sky. Through the trees they could make out the moon. "I've really missed this."

"Yeah?"

"I miss you guys."

"It's not the same without you," he told her. And it wasn't. He really missed having her on the team but he didn't know how to tell her that without blurting out everything else he was feeling, too. Her hair gleamed in the moonlight and it made him want to reach out and touch it. He checked the impulse by taking another pull off his beer.

"I don't regret giving it up, exactly."

"No."

"But I do miss it," she said with a sigh.

He brushed the back of her hand with the back of his, "I know."

She looked down at their hands. So did he.

"I miss  _you,"_ he chanced. He wanted to cringe with the neediness of the statement but he held true, didn't flinch and just waited for her answer. He brushed her knuckles with his once more, lightly as if it could have been an accident, except they both knew it wasn't.

She turned her hand just a little, an invitation he wasn't going to turn down. He slipped his hand into hers and she tightened her fingers around his. It felt utterly forbidden and, despite being something he'd been doing since he was a kid, utterly titillating as well.

It felt like California.

"I didn't want any more complications, you know?" she finally said quietly. She might have phrased it as a question but he could tell she wasn't looking for an answer. "I didn't want to make things more difficult on the kids by splitting my attentions."

And suddenly he understood why she'd pulled back. "And I wanted to leave things up to you. I didn't want to push you."

"You've never pushed me," she said, tilting her head back up to the sky. "This," she squeezed his hand, "is going to be complicated."

"It doesn't have to be."

"How can it not be? We've got so much to work out and if you haven't noticed, I kind of have a lot on my plate right now. How do we..."

He waited for her to continue, but instead she just stroked her thumb along his hand. "How do we what?"

She shook her head. Then turned to look at him. "Just so you know, I never really stopped."

He thought back over the last couple of years and the way they'd built the walls between them. "Neither did I," he said honestly.

She smiled at him then and it was the most natural thing in the world to lean over and kiss her. It wasn't the kiss he wanted, the angle was all wrong for that, but it was soft and sweet and tasted of things to come.


	11. Chapter 10

"It's been like a vacation, but it's not a vacation. This is real life and mom and dad aren't here anymore," Hannah said, suddenly overcome with tears. Sam gathered the girl into her arms and looked up at the colonel who said something quietly to Ben and the two of them walked off down the trail towards the parking area. Sam didn't know where they were going or what they were doing, but she appreciated the privacy with Hannah.

The girl had been having a good day all around. She'd enjoyed the hiking and the archery and it wasn't until they'd gotten back to their campsite mid afternoon that she'd started to slip into a funk that had eventually come to a head with her statement about her parents. In all actuality, Sam realized she'd had it pretty easy with the kids. Since they'd come to Colorado there had been no big breakdowns and just the one fight with Hannah that the colonel –  _Jack,_  Sam thought, now that they'd kissed and talked the previous night by firelight – had moderated.

Sam wasn't sure what to say to Hannah so she let her cry until the tears dried up and there were just small, aching sounding hiccups coming from time to time. "I'm sorry," Hannah finally said.

"Don't be."

"Where are Jack and Ben?"

"I don't know. They'll be back," Sam said confidently.

Hannah kicked at the dirt leaving long scuff marks in the campsite floor. "I miss my friends."

"I know. But you'll make more. When school starts." Sam realized that was just five weeks away. The summer had moved fast with her new responsibilities. "And you know you can call them. Or write." Sam thought belatedly about the long distance bill but realized that was the least of her problems. And really, not a big give considering.

"I feel bad."

"Why?"

"Because I like it here."

"You don't have to feel bad about that."

"Maybe it means I don't miss mom and dad enough."

"It doesn't mean that." Besides, Sam thought, what's  _enough_? Pain all the time? Despair? She wouldn't wish that one anyone, least of all the kids.

"Do you miss them?"

With the constant reminder of the kids, it was hard not to. Not to mention Mark had been her only sibling. "Everyday."

Hannah went a got a bottle of water out of the cooler. "There's beer in here," she said idly.

"Talk to Jack," Sam said flippantly.

"I think Jack wants to be your boyfriend," Hannah said boldly.

Sam choked on her swallow. "Yeah?" The thing was, Sam thought the same thing. And after the way things went the night before she thought they might be headed there.

"He came camping with us," Hannah said as if that explained it all.

"I don't think that's any real indication that-"

"Aunt Sam," the girl wheedled.

"He kissed me last night," Sam said in a conspiratorial rush.

Hannah's face lit up. "He did? Was that the first time?"

"Yeah." Sam felt a grin split her own face.

"Do you want to be his girlfriend?" The conversation felt like déjà vu.

"It's complicated."

"Why?"

Why indeed? And how did she explain to a kid who'd just had her world turned upside down that Sam didn't relish bringing in the chaos of a new relationship. But... how new would a relationship with Jack really feel? Their feelings hadn't changed. It would just be a matter of changing their status, right?

"I think you should be his girlfriend."

"I'll think about it," Sam said. But she wore a Mona Lisa smile for the next twenty minutes while they waited for the guys to return. They did return, with pizza.

"That's not camping food," Hannah said when Jack set the boxes down on the picnic table.

Ben shrugged. "Jack says it's comfort food."

Jack trailed his hand along Sam's lower back and gave her a questioning look. She smiled at him to let him know all was well. Hannah's moment had been short lived all things considered and was probably just a build up of guilt after all the fun they'd been having. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

"Let's eat," he said then and flipped open the pizza boxes.

They ate the slices directly out of the box, no plates or napkins and it was fun. The kids were giggling and making conversation. Hannah kept shooting glances between Jack and Sam and Sam was sure he was noticing.

They made s'mores later on that night after the sunset. The kids had never done that before and Jack thought it was a damned shame so he built them seconds and then thirds until Sam said enough was enough. Truthfully, it was about the time her own stomach started to hurt from the sugar. The kids probably could have kept going, but the last thing she needed was upset stomachs out in the middle of almost nowhere. If twenty minutes from town could be considered  _the wilderness_.

Hannah and Ben went to bed around twenty-three hundred and, again, Jack pulled beers from the cooler and handed her an open one as they sat together by the fire.

"Everything okay?"

Sam sighed. "Yeah. I think it all just got to be a little too much. She's missing Mark and Angie."

"Too much fun," he said sagely.

"I think so."

He reached over and took her hand in his, like it was natural, like it was something they did all the time and it felt nice, like she was grounded. She'd felt a little like she'd been floating all evening, odd and fleeting feelings of happiness, regret, contentment, sadness, thrill, comfort, worry, flicking and floating through her one after the other like her emotions had turned schizophrenic.

"I'm going to screw this whole thing up," she said. She wasn't sure if she was talking about the kids or  _them_.

"No, you're not."

"I have no idea what I'm doing." Again. Kids.  _Them_.

"You're doing fine."

She squeezed his hand. "You sure you want this?"

"You?" he asked and waited for her nod. "Yeah, Carter, I'm sure."

It felt like something they should talk to death, but it turned out that was all she needed to hear. She stood up, motioned him out of his seat. She wanted his mouth and she didn't want any soft, sweet kiss like they'd shared the night before. Not when they were approaching midnight and he'd told her he wanted her.

He rose to his feet, they looked at each other in the low light of the campfire. He raised his hand to her hair. "I'm sure, Sam."

"I have no idea what I'm doing," she confessed.

He smiled at her then, and he leaned in. She could feel his breath carress her lips. "Stop thinking," he said.

She did. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his, he dropped his hand from her hair and gathered her to him. His arms were banded around her tightly and she tilted her head to the right to perfect the angle of the kiss and then his mouth was open against hers. She tested the newness of it, flicked her tongue against his lip and he made a sound that turned her knees to jelly. He tightened his hold on her when she swayed, his tongue swept into her mouth and it was her turn to make the noise. As far as first real kisses went it was a doozy. It left her head light and spinning. She clung to him, her hands cupped over his shoulder blades, itching to reach for his hair but she was afraid to loosen her hold on him.

He ended the kiss and pulled back from her far enough to look into her eyes. She knew she must look dazed because he smiled at her. "So, we're good at that."

"You thought we wouldn't be?" came tumbling out of her mouth.

He threaded his fingers through the hair at her temple. "Not a chance."

He kissed her again and she pressed her willing body against his, even as she knew that taking the kiss further wasn't an option. He ran his hand down her side, over her ribs to her hip and pulled her tight in against him so she could feel the way she was affecting him. She felt herself go liquid at the feel of him hard against her. She might have made a sound into his mouth that was needy as her breathing sped up, but she wasn't really sure of anything besides the feel of his body against hers.

Suddenly, he pulled back from her, his forehead pressed against hers, his breath coming in sharp pants. "We need to ease up a minute."

She nodded, felt the way his head bobbed along with hers.

"When we get home all bets are off," he said.

"The kids..."

"We'll figure something out."

How had they gone from kissing to talking about how to get to bed together so quickly? She chuffed out a laugh and he pulled all the way back from her and raised an eyebrow.

"Seven years," was all she said. Quick? Hardly.

He grinned. "Long years."

"Hard years, even."

He chuckled, pulled her body back into his and pressed against her. "I'd say."

She shivered with the delicious pleasure his hard body provoked. "If you don't stop that..."

"Yeah," he said and took a careful step back from her, holding on to her hips, "okay." He looked her in the eye. "Tell me you want me just as bad."

"I do."

He leaned in and put his lips against her ear. "Tell me you're wet."

Well, that escalated quickly. "I am."

He groaned into her ear and she felt another rush of wetness join the first.

"We'll figure something out," he said again.

She pulled herself out of his arms. Turned to find her beer in the cup holder in the arm of her camp chair. She picked up the bottle with trembling fingers and lifted the bottle to her mouth. He followed suit. She dropped back into her chair. He folded himself into his. She looked at him and a quiet laugh burst forth between her lips. He had an answering chuckle. They turned back to the fire and finished their beer.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam dumped the last of the trash into the receptacle and shouldered her pack. It had been a fun weekend, but it was time to go home. It didn't take them long to get everything loaded into the back of the truck or to get buckled in and Sam found she had a pang of sadness that the weekend was over. It had been a good weekend. The kids had fun, Hannah had a cathartic moment, things had changed between her and Jack...

A bolt of pleasure struck her and she was momentarily flummoxed by the man sitting next to her behind the wheel of his truck. He gave her a knowing half smile and she wondered what sort of look she must have had on her face.

The kids were chattering in the backseat, about what she wasn't certain until she heard Jack say, "I'm not sure when, but we should be able to come again."

She liked the idea of camping with them all again. It had been a good time and the kids really seemed to have enjoyed themselves. And there was no small measure of fun in sitting around a campfire late at night with Jack, even if they had to cool their heels.

She found herself wondering how they were going to orchestrate being together without the kids. They both had jobs, after all, and the kids were coming up on a week with no camp. Cassie had been kind enough to offer to be the childcare for the week so Sam wasn't worried about what to do with the kids, but she was a little concerned with how she was going to get to be alone with Jack. It was something she wanted, something she knew he wanted but she was afraid it just wasn't in the immediate future's cards.

"When can we come back, Aunt Sam?" Ben was asking.

"Do you want to come back here or do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Like where?" Hannah wanted to know.

"There are lots of places around here to camp," Jack said. "Pikes Peak, maybe?" he directed his question at Sam. Sam looked over her shoulder at the kids and saw them looking wide eyed and happy.

"There's plenty to do there," Sam agreed.

"Can we go?" Hannah asked.

"Next time," Sam confirmed with a smile.

"Awesome!" Ben said as if he already knew what to expect there.

"It might be a while," Jack warned. "Mission rotation," he said lowly to Sam.

"How long?" Ben asked.

"We're not going to give Jack a hard time," Sam said. "We'll go when we can."

"Can we still go camping when school's in?" Hannah asked.

"I don't see why not," Jack said, "but a lot of the campsites close when the weather turns too cold."

"Can we go skiing in the winter time?" Ben wanted to know.

"Skiing?" Sam asked dubiously. She'd never been skiing a day in her life. She knew the kids hadn't either.

"It looks like fun," Hannah confirmed.

"We'll see," Sam said.

"I hate 'we'll see'," Ben said, "It's how parents say no." Sam thought that was a very astute observation for a seven-year-old to make. Well, he was almost eight, she realized. He'd have a birthday right before school started.

"It's not a no," Sam said, skipping over the part of her that clenched when she was referred to as a parent. "It's a 'we'll see what the winter brings'. We can try. In the meantime, maybe we should talk about what you want to do for your birthday," Sam said.

"Go camping!" was his immediate reply.

"I'm glad you had fun," Sam said, "but we don't  _have_  to go camping. There's lots to do in Colorado Springs."

"I want to go camping," Ben assured. "Or maybe go to Jack's to look through the telescope."

Sam looked at Jack who was smiling and nodding. "Both sound like fun," he said.

He went on to talk to Ben about the particulars of his birthday, but Sam found she quickly tuned them out for the more immediate pleasure she was feeling. Everyone was happy. The weekend had been a huge success. It felt like... well, it felt like she had a family. They were making plans for the future which felt very real, and those plans included Jack. Until Jack she'd always gone into relationships on faith and found that too much forward planning made guys a little jumpy. But not Jack. Then again, her relationship with Jack had nothing to do with faith and everything to do with a solid foundation of seven years of teamwork and friendship and that little something more that neither of them had been able to shake.

She thought back to weeks ago when she'd thought how simple her brother's life was compared to her own and she realized how terribly naive she'd been. Her life was much more complicated now that she had the kids in it. Sure, maybe she wasn't going off world and getting shot at time and again, but she still had her work in the science department and with the gate and there was nothing simple about that. Compound that with being responsible for the kids and she suddenly had a much greater appreciation for what her brother must have gone through.

Suddenly, fingers threaded through her own and she knew she'd been caught not paying attention to the conversation. But it was nice to hold his hand, anyway. She liked the physical connection with him, was surprised to find he was the kind of man who held hands, really. But they'd done more hand-holding on the trip than anything else, really. Maybe he just took what he could get. She squeezed his hand and he rubbed the back of hers with his thumb. She smiled a little and checked back in to the conversation.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

While the kids took showers – one in their bathroom and one in Sam's – Jack held Sam by the hips in the kitchen and worked his mouth slowly over hers. Kissing her was like a drug, his mind felt foggy and all he was truly aware of was her lips and tongue. She had her arms around his neck and was kissing him deeply, but she was holding her body back from him just enough so they weren't touching. He was glad for that because he was pretty sure if he touched her more fully he'd combust.

He felt like a kid again, making out with a girl just waiting to get caught. He'd forgotten what it was like to have kids around and how you didn't just go to bed when the mood struck you. Not that he'd been doing much going to bed since Sara. As a matter of fact, he hadn't been to bed with anyone at all since Laira and before that Kynthia – which he didn't even remember – so it had been a while since he'd done the whole relationship thing.

She pulled back from him slowly and he had to school himself to keep his mouth from following hers as she opened her eyes and gave him an easy smile. "It's really too bad the kids shower so quickly," she said and gave him a once over that made his blood zing through his veins.

It was killing him to have to wait to take her to bed, but at the same time, he was kind of glad they were having to take things a little slow. Not that seven years hadn't been damned slow enough, but they really had spent the last couple of those years putting a distance between them he'd like to make sure was thoroughly closed before he crossed the next line with her. "I don't know, I think the build up is going to be a lot of fun."

Her eyes flicked down to the front of his trousers. "Or painful."

"Hey," he said good-naturedly, "eyes up. That's not fair."

She chuckled softly. "I just almost can't believe this. For years I wanted you, but I knew I couldn't have you. And now everything's changed and I still can't have you."

He took a step closer to her, raised her chin with one index finger, "You've got me, Sam," he said and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips to prove just how much of him she had. "Sure, I want to take you to bed," he said and watched how her eyes went wide then darkened, "but it's not only about the sex. You know that, right?"

"Of course," she said without hesitation. "It's not just about the sex for me either. But we've waited so long. And the way I feel when we kiss..."

"I know."

"It's been a long time for me, Jack, and a long time since I've allowed myself to feel this way around you."

Her confession made something sweet bloom in his chest. He didn't know exactly what  _a long time_  meant, but the idea that she'd been, possibly, holding out for him the way he'd held out for her made him feel, well, happy. And happiness was a feeling he wasn't overly accustomed with. "We'll figure something out," he told her again. "We won't put it off forever."

He gathered her into his arms, pulled her body all the way into his, sponateous combustion be damned, and held her. Into her ear he said, "But until then..." he leaned back from her, grasped her head between his hands, and covered her mouth with is in a searing kiss. It wasn't all he wanted, but for the time being it would have to do.


	12. Chapter 11

Sam woke up to the sound of her bedroom door opening followed by heart wrenching sniffles and hiccups. She sat up in bed and reached for the lamp on her bedside table. In the doorway stood little Ben, one foot on top of the other, one hand on the doorknob and the other on the door frame.

Sam blinked blearily. "Ben? What's wrong?"

"Can I come in, Aunt Sam?"

She nodded encouragingly and Ben padded across the room to stand next to Sam. "What's the matter?"

Ben just stood there with his little chin trembling.

"Bad dream?"

He nodded.

She scooted over in the bed and patted the bed next to her to invite him to come up. He immediately came and snuggled himself into her side, burying his damp face in the warm cotton of her sleep shirt. "Want to tell me about it?"

He shook his head against her body.

"Okay." She smoothed a hand down over his unruly bed hair. For a while, they just sat there quietly as she ran her hand over his head.

Eventually he spoke. "Aunt Sam? Are you going to die, too?"

The literature that California Children and Family Services provided about children dealing with the death of a parent hadn't really prepared her to deal with Ben's question. She purposely changed her life so she could do a better job of being there for the kids. But he was too young to understand and she couldn't explain why she'd had to make the change anyway. "Are you worried about that?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm not planning on it. Not anytime soon. And I can promise that I'll be very careful." It felt like a better answer than just telling him  _no_  outright. She couldn't make any promises, but the chances now, with her shiny new job, were much slimmer.

"Did mommy and daddy plan to die?"

"Oh, sweetie," she said and squeezed him a little tighter, "no. They just had a bad accident."

"What if you have an accident, too?"

"I won't," she said with conviction, now sure the boy needed more assurance than life actually provided.

"I really miss mommy."

"What did she do when you had bad dreams?"

"She'd let me sleep with her and daddy."

Sam smiled. "Would you like to sleep with me tonight?"

"Yes," he said with a definitive nod.

"Okay," she said in what she hoped with a soothing way. She slid down into bed, now more on the wrong side than her side, and moved the pillows over so he'd have a place to rest his head. He was curled up under her blankets quicker than she could say lickety-split and his eyes were closed before she was even in a comfortable position.

"Thanks, Aunt Sam," the boy said quietly.

"You're welcome." It took him less than two minutes to fall asleep but Sam lay there awake thinking of how much her life had changed in such a short period of time and how ill-equipped she really felt to parent these children. She had no idea what to do for bad dreams and was thankful Ben knew what he wanted, what he needed. She didn't remember being his age, not really, nor what her parents did or said when she was worried or scared. She just hoped she'd said the right things.

She reached over Ben once she was sure he was fully asleep and turned out the lamp. He didn't stir as she brushed her hand over his hair one last time in the dark. She wished, suddenly, for Jack who would have known what to say, she was sure. He always seemed to know what to say, or when to say nothing. Sam always felt like she had to say  _something_. Not to mention, having him next to her would have brought her no small measure of comfort in the face of the feelings she was having about what would happen if something happened to her.

Sure, they'd talked about it a little. And he'd offered to take the kids,  _and_  that was before they'd been involved. She knew he was serious and wouldn't have made such an offer if he wasn't. He didn't joke or play around about serious things, as irreverent as he could be. Sam stayed there, staring at the ceiling for long minutes, willing her brain to shut down and to let her go back to sleep, but she had too much on her mind. Wondering what would happen to the kids, wondering what she should say when this came up again, if she should handle it differently with the older Hannah who was less likely to be appeased with platitudes than Ben was.

It was more than an hour before she went back to sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They were standing off to the side watching the kids take turns looking through the telescope. Jack had showed them how to move and focus it and they were having a great time looking at random stars and the moon. The kids were chattering back and forth and Jack and Sam were standing shoulder to shoulder, bumping against one another with every breath.

"Ben had a bad dream last night," Sam said quietly so only Jack could hear. He waited her out to see what else she had to say. "He wanted to know if I was going to die, too."

"That's normal."

"It felt awful. I didn't know what to say."

"Did he go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, in my bed."

"Then you said the right things."

"I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing."

Jack uncrossed his arms and stretched one arm out on the railing behind her back so he could ghost his fingers over the soft skin of the back of her arm. "You're doing fine."

She leaned her head against his shoulder. It was the most affection she'd shown him all day and he had a feeling it was because she wasn't sure how to act with the kids around. He'd checked impulses to touch, too. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable and even knowing Ben was on his side didn't make it any easier to just switch from friends to something more. The heated kisses they'd shared aside, they hadn't really talked about what it all meant.

"Jack," Hannah called out. "We want to see a planet."

Jack pushed himself off the railing, trailing his fingers along Sam's back and making her shudder. "Let's see what we can find, huh?"

He dialed in to Saturn and then stepped back for the kids to look. His telescope wasn't powerful enough to make it a stunning visual, but it was pretty cool all the same. He joined Sam back at the railing. "They seem to be having a good time."

"You're certainly popular," she agreed with a smile.

"They just like me for my toys."

"No," she said shaking her head and looking suddenly solemn. "Thank you for everything."

His first instinct was to deny having been helpful at all, but that's not what she needed to hear. She didn't need to feel the pressure to disagree with him. So he settled for, "Anytime."

He stretched an arm out behind her again, encouraging her to step closer into him in the slight chill of the evening air. She obliged him, a little. "They really do like you."

"I like them, too."

"I don't know what I would have done without you."

"You'd have been fine."

"Maybe," she conceded with a soft nod of her head. "But I'm still glad you've been around."

He grunted acceptingly. He wasn't sure what to say. Sam wasn't a woman who laid it on thick by nature and he felt like all of this was her just trying to figure out how to say something particular.

She tilted her head into his shoulder. He looked down at her. She was blinking sleepily. "Think it's time to call it a night?"

She smiled slightly. "Maybe, but I'm not ready to go."

"I'm not kicking you out. Besides, the kids are still pretty charged up."

She turned into him slightly. "We need some time, just the two of us."

That could sound ominous, if he'd let it. He chose not to. "Yeah, we do."

"Maybe we can get Janet to take the kids overnight?"

"I'm sure she would. But she's going to want to know why."

"I'm not..." she hesitated. "I'm not sure what to tell people. Not until we've had a chance to talk."

He looked down at her, her body angled into his so much that if he lifted his arms around her she'd be in his embrace. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." She indulged in him for another slow, deep breath, then stepped back. She gave him a warm smile and met his eyes. "C'mon, kids. It's time to go home."

He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"But Aunt Sam-" Hannah started.

"You can come back," Jack cut her off. "Anytime."

"Okay," the kids sing-songed, clearly not ready to be leaving. But it was clear Sam was worn out.

"You guys be safe getting home," he said and turned to give them access down the ladder. He followed them down and around to her car.

They all loaded up and she got into the driver's seat and rolled down the window. "Tonight was fun," she said. "Thank you."

"We'll do it again, soon."

"I don't think I could keep them away."

"I wouldn't want you to." It was nice having them all there in his space. It made the place feel alive.  _She_  made it feel like it was supposed to and the kids just warmed a part of his heart he wasn't sure he'd ever have access to again.

"Good night," she said quietly.

"Good night, Jack," Hannah called from the backseat.

Jack clapped his hand on the top of the vehicle. "Good night. See you soon."

Sam gave him a smile and put the car into gear.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"The gate isn't supposed to be doing this," Sam said frustratedly.

"Well, Major, see what you can do about it. We have two teams due back tonight," General Hammond said.

Sam checked her watch. She'd need to be leaving in fifteen minutes to pick the kids up from camp. Suddenly, Jack dropped over her shoulder, with one hand bracing him against the control desk. "I'll pick the kids up. I can stay with them until you get home," he said quietly so the others in the room wouldn't hear him.

She looked at him, surprised. "You wouldn't mind?"

He shrugged one shoulder and gave her a crooked smile. "Of course not."

All the while she wondered how their whispered conversation must appear to the people around them. "Sir," she said, turning her head to the General, "I need to make some personal arrangements and then I'll get back to the gate."

"Okay, Major," he said. "Make it quick."

She nodded once and then pushed back from the control desk, the rolling casters of the chair squeaking against the floor. Jack followed her to her lab. She handed over the address for the camp as well as her key to her house. "Thank you," she said.

"Think nothing of it."

"No really," she reached out and touched his arm, "thanks."

"Sure, Sam."

"I don't know how late I'll be..."

"I can get them dinner and get them to bed, no problem."

"They'll be glad to see you."

"We'll be fine. We'll have fun, even."

"They have to get up at six thirty tomorrow, not too much fun," she said with a grin.

"Yes, ma'am."

It was zero two hundred before she pulled into her driveway, exhausted. She could see lights on in the house and there was something rather nice about coming home to a living, breathing house rather than a cold, dark box like she'd been doing for years. But, at the same time she felt bad because she knew Jack had to be up and at the mountain in the morning, same as she did. But he was inside, holding her life together while she worked. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

She collected her purse off the passenger seat and got out of the car. At her front door, she turned the knob and found the door unlocked and that gave her another sense of warmth – someone was inside waiting on her. She let herself in quietly and walked into the living room. She found Jack on the couch, head tipped back, sound asleep with the news channel droning quietly in the background. She set her purse down on the coffee table and he stirred.

His eyes opened slowly and fixed on her. Then a slow smile spread across his face up to his eyes. "You're home."

"Yes," she said tiredly and plopped down on the couch next to him. He immediately put an arm around her and pulled her in for a gentle kiss. She let his lips warm hers, but neither made a move to deepen the kiss. It was just hello, and it was really, really nice, she decided.

"What time is it?"

"Two."

"Late."

"Yes," she agreed. "How'd everything go here?"

"Fine. The kids went to bed about nine with no trouble."

"Dinner?"

"Yep."

"Thank you," she sighed.

"Everything okay with the gate?"

"Finally. We got the teams back home; better late than never." She snuggled down into his side. "What time are you due back on base?"

"Seven," he said around a yawn.

"Stay."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"You have to get up in four hours," she argued, "and so do I."

"I caught some sleep."

"How much?"

"Couple hours."

"And now you're going to drive home, exhausted? Really, Jack, stay." She couldn't believe how much she wanted him to. She had a sudden and powerful desire to slide into bed next to him, to sleep in his arms.

"And be here in the morning when the kids wake up? They're too young to understand and we haven't exactly talked to them about all this yet.  _We_  haven't exactly talked about all this yet. We should give them a chance to get used to the idea before they're confronted by me over the breakfast table."

"I don't want to do all of this without you," she confessed quietly.

"And I don't think we should do this just because you're overwhelmed."

"It's not  _just_ anything, Jack. It's everything. It's been years of wanting you but not being able to have you and now everything is different."

"Yes, it is. But we've spent the last two years moving away from each other."

"And the last two months moving closer. I couldn't have done California without you. You were... you were perfect."

"Perfect doesn't exist, Sam."

"It did for me out there."

He sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I wouldn't have been anywhere else."

"I know that now, I understand."

"Then understand when I tell you that this has to be more than that."

"It is," she insisted. "It's been seven years of everything. Jack, I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

He groaned softly and she could hear the want in it.

"I don't mean sex," she said and could feel herself blush. "Not that it's not nice, and important. But I mean  _you_. I tried. I tried really hard  _not_ to fall for you. But you made that pretty impossible."

"That's supposed to be my line. You're brilliant, Sam. And I'm... I'm just another guy with a good head on my shoulders."

"Don't do that." She couldn't stand to hear him categorize himself as somehow  _less_. "Don't treat me like I'm making a bad decision here. Don't treat me like I'm not smart enough to know what I want when you think I'm smart enough to do everything else. I want this. And I know you do, too."

"Of course I do."

"I'm not going to ask you to stay again, not tonight, but let's not talk this thing to death and talk ourselves out of it. There are reasons not to be together. But there are plenty of reasons to say fuck that and move forward."

He chuckled. "I meant it when I said I never stopped loving you."

"Me too," she said softly and turned her face into his shoulder to press a kiss against his t-shirt. "And I figure if we've got that, we've got enough. It's not going to be easy, especially not now, but when have we ever done things the easy way?"

He tilted her face up to his with his free hand and looked into her eyes. "The last seven years are one of the hardest things I've ever done."

She knew what that meant considering some of the things he'd been through in his life, and she didn't take the sentiment lightly. "Well, it doesn't have to be that hard anymore. It might not be easy, but it'll never be that hard again."

He dropped his mouth to hers and kissed her. She opened her mouth under his and let him tangle their tongues together. They kissed deeply for long moments. He pulled back from her after a few long, deep breaths through their noses. "I have to go home," he said almost desperately and she understood – she could feel the fire in her own belly.

"We'll talk to the kids, soon. Next time," she said with a finality even he couldn't argue with, "you'll stay."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

She chose dinner the next night to talk to the kids. "I want to talk to you two about something," she said and set her fork down on her plate.

"Did we do something wrong?" Hannah asked immediately.

"No, sweetie. This is about me. And Jack."

"Oh. Okay."

"A while back you asked me if Jack was my boyfriend," Sam reminded Hannah.

"Yeah?"

"And he wasn't. But he and I have been doing some talking and we've decided to change the nature of our relationship."

"So he's your boyfriend now?" Ben asked.

"Well, in a manner of speaking, yes," Sam said, not completely comfortable with the label. "How do you guys feel about that?"

"I like Jack," Hannah said.

"Me too," Ben agreed.

"Good, that's good. Because it means he'll be around more, or we'll be around him."

"He's already around a lot," Hannah pointed out.

She was right, Sam thought. He was already around probably as much as his schedule would allow. "True." Sam wasn't sure how to bring up that he might stay overnight. "He might be here for breakfast sometimes, too," she finally decided on.

"Okay," Hannah said. Clearly it wasn't a big deal to her.

"Ben?"

"Yeah, okay."

She wondered why she'd been so worried about talking to them. They were used to having two adults in the house, she suddenly realized. They were too young to understand the significance in the change of relationship she and Jack were contemplating. She suddenly felt very stupid.

"I asked Jack if you were his girlfriend," Ben volunteered.

"You did?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Yeah, weeks ago."

"Oh."

"He said no, but that he wanted you to be."

"So you guys are really okay with this?"

"Why wouldn't we be?" Hannah asked.

"I don't want to do anything that might make you uncomfortable, or that would make you think you're not my first priority."

"Aunt Sam," the little girl said with an authority beyond her years, "it's fine. We like him."

Sam blew out a breath between pursed lips. Yep, she felt really, really stupid.

"Besides," Hannah said, "we had fun with him the night you had to work late, and if he's your boyfriend he'll probably stay with us more when that happens, right?"

Sam smiled, "Yeah."

"Good."

And that was it. It was that easy. Sam really couldn't remember what she'd been so worried about.

Later that night she called Jack. "So, apparently they really like you a lot and couldn't have been less bothered about a change in our relationship."

"Well, it's not like they know anything different than me being around. As far as they're concerned, this is normal."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"We were worried about nothing."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Apparently they like the idea you'll be around more."

"Me too."

"And for breakfast even."

Over the line she could hear him take deep, even, calming breaths. "Next time I'll stay," he said, hearkening back to their earlier conversation.

She laughed. "Oh, you bet you will."


	13. Chapter 12

It was midnight. Jack wandered down the hall and poked his head in on each of the kids to make sure they were sleeping soundly. Sam had been shanghaied into staying on base to help with a science experiment gone wrong and when he'd stopped by her lab at quitting time she'd turned those big blue eyes on him and he'd found himself agreeing to pick the kids up and stay with them until she got home. Not that he minded. He'd had a good evening with the kids. They'd had dinner and played board games until bedtime.

He'd just made himself comfortable on the couch with an old black and white movie when he heard her car in the driveway. It didn't take long for her to come in. He heard her drop her keys on the little table in the hall and then she appeared in the living room looking beat.

"Hi," she said with a soft, tired smile.

He beckoned her over by patting the seat on the couch next to him. "Not too late tonight," he said while he waited for her to settle in next to him. She tucked her body into his and he liked the immediate way she came into his arms.

"It feels late." She tilted her head up and he took her invitation for a kiss. She hummed as he kissed her then gave a satisfied sigh when he pulled away. He liked this affection on her, it fit her well, he was a little surprised though he figured he shouldn't have been – not after California.

"You sure you want me to stay?"

She looked purposefully over her shoulder at his overnight bag where it was sitting on an ottoman. "Oh yes." She rubbed a hand from one side of his chest to the other and it made him tingle in the wake of her motion. She nodded her head towards the television, "Are you watching this?"

"Not really."

"Good. Let's go to bed."

She got up from the couch and looked at him expectantly. He flipped off the TV and stood. Then they were grinning at each other like fools. "This feels really strange," she said, but her smile never faltered.

"Yeah, but good strange."

"Definitely good strange." She walked over to his bag and fingered the strap. "Why don't you go back? And I'll lock up?"

He knew she was giving him time to change for bed, but he wasn't particularly modest and there was something rather thrilling about the idea of stripping off in front of her. He'd brought pajama pants and a t-shirt for the occasion despite the fact that he normally slept in just his boxer shorts, so it was titillating to think of changing in front of her, to wonder whether she'd take it in stride or blush prettily at the sight of his body and good god, what was he thinking? It wasn't not like they were a couple of kids, they were two adults about to go to bed together for the first time. "You lock up, I'll get the lights," he said.

After they'd taken care of their respective tasks, they met in the hallway that led back to the bedrooms. As they passed by each kid's room she poked her head in to check on them only to find them both sleeping soundly.

In her bedroom, finally, there was a moment when they just stood and looked at each other. Jack's bag hanging over his shoulder, Sam toeing off her sneakers as she held his gaze. Heat coursed between them, the knowing they were about to go to bed together, but if he wasn't mistaken, there was a bit of hesitation in her eyes.

He dropped his bag to the floor at the foot of her bed and then walked towards her. She kicked her shoes aside and waited for him to step right up in front of her. Her breathing was shallow and quickened. He reached for her, threaded his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck. She pressed into his hand leaning backwards into his grip. It turned her lips up to his just the right amount for him to claim her pretty mouth with his own. He kissed her gently, but deeply, hoping to wash away whatever concerns had put that hesitation in her eyes. She mewled slightly when he began to pull away. He shushed her with a quick press of his lips against hers that were open and wanting.

"It's time for bed," he said quietly in the charged air between them.

She cast a glance towards her bed, perfectly made, and then looked back at him. "I... really want to... but I'm not sure we should with the kids."

"I didn't say I was going to thoroughly debauch you, I said it was time for bed," he said evenly, though he wanted her too, with a ferocity he didn't want to admit to.

Her face, if he wasn't imagining things, fell a little but she said, "Oh, okay then," and stepped past him and went to her dresser. She pulled out a large sleep shirt with buttons up the front, gave him a smile, and stepped into the bathroom pulling the door to but not closed behind her. He was fixated on that little strip of light that shone around the door, knowing she was in there, taking off her clothes and she hadn't shut him away was doing things to his insides.

He sat down on the end of her bed facing the door and waited for her to come out. It only took her a few minutes and then she stepped into the room. She was all long legs disappearing underneath an oversized shirt that fell to her thighs. He could see the swell of her breasts outlined perfectly by the soft, worn material and he was suddenly not sure about that whole not-debauching her thing.

She smiled at him like she could read his mind. "You haven't changed."

"Oh, right," he said stupidly, as if he hadn't noticed.

She crossed the room and laid down on the bed, on top of the covers, on her side propping herself up on her hand. She smirked and made a get on with it gesture that went straight to his groin – not good considering he was about to have to take his pants off. But then again, what was the harm in letting her see what she did to him on a regular basis?

He pulled his shirt off over his head and watched her face. Her eyes dipped down to his chest, then his abs, then lower still to the front of his pants. He wondered how much she could tell. When he lifted his hands to the button of his trousers, her eyes flew back up to his face. It was the sound of the zipper that drew her gaze back down. She watched, closely, as he pushed the pants down over his hips. It made his already interested cock jump under her scrutiny. And he knew exactly how much she could see by the widening, then subsequent darkening, of her eyes.

When he bent at the waist to rifle through his bag for his pajama pants she spoke, huskily. "You don't have to put more on on my account."

From his bent over position he met her eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Unless you want to," she hurried on.

"No," he drawled, "I'd be more comfortable like this." With all that skin and those long Carter-legs pressed against him without cotton between them? Yeah, he'd be much more comfortable.

She gave him a saucy smile then patted the empty space on the bed in front of her. He practically vaulted onto the bed. He stretched out next to her, facing her, propped up just like she was, except he reached a hand out to settle on her hip. She felt warm, even with the fabric between his skin and hers.

He scooched across the bed until they were nose to nose and his arm could curl around her waist. He bumped his nose with hers until she tilted her head. He dropped his lips onto hers and she opened her mouth, touching her tongue to his. He curled their tongues together as he insinuated one of his thighs between hers. He didn't press up into the center of her, not yet. But it took everything he had not to feel how hot she could be against his thigh.

He twisted their tongues together for long moments as he breathed through his nose. He enjoyed the way her breasts brushed against his chest when she took a deep breath and he felt the way the tails of her shirt tickled against his leg. She was coming closer and closer to curling her leg over his hip each time she slid her thigh against his. Finally, she did hook her thigh over his hipbone and pulled his lower body into hers. With a grunt he pushed his hardness into her hot softness and her breath caught then puffed out across his lips. What followed then was a low moan that was wrenched from her throat. It went straight to his already straining erection.

He could feel her heat through the thin layers of their underwear. He slid his hand from its place on her back up over her hip and down the thigh that was thrown over him. Her skin felt like silk against his palm. He palmed the back of her thigh and pulled her tightly into him, nestling himself into the warm cotton that covered her center.

"Mmm," she moaned, "do that again."

He thrust into her, waited for the hitch in her breathing and then pulled back just enough that he could thrust again. It was delicious torture to be simulating something he wanted for real, but he loved the sounds she was making low in the back of her throat.

He rolled her onto her back and instantly missed the delicious heat between her legs but he was intent on getting her shirt unbuttoned. She was lost in her pleasure sprawled out on the bed but she came back to herself as soon as his fingers lit on the first button.

She quickly covered his hand with one of hers. "Wait," she said suddenly. "What about the kids?"

"What about them?" he asked, confused.

"What if they need something?"

"Carter, it's after twelve. How often do they get up in the middle of the night needing something?"

"Well..."

"Right."

"But Ben did come into my room one night. And I don't want to lock the door..."

He sighed and tipped back over onto his side so he could look at her. He put one big hand flat on her cotton-covered belly. "If we're never going to have sex when the kids are in the house then we're never going to have sex."

"Not... _never..._ "

"Okay, almost never. Sam-"

"I just... I need a little time to get used to the idea."

He nodded slowly and tried to convince his body that it wasn't getting laid after all. "All right." He maneuvered himself on the bed so he could pull the covers back and slip in between the sheets. She did it the much more dignified way and got up, pulled the blankets back, and slid into bed. She turned out the bedside light and he reached for her. She came into his arms willingly. He wrapped her up in his arms, tangled their legs together and twisted onto his back so her head was pillowed in the hollow of his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and he felt her press an answering one to his chest.

"See you in the morning," she said quietly.

"You bet."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next morning was organized chaos as two adults and two children attempted to get ready for their day. Sam wasn't used to having competition in the kitchen for the coffee pot and she kept bumping into Jack as he appointed himself the maker of breakfast. Breakfast consisted of bagels so it wasn't like he was pulling off magic, but she still appreciated the help, even if she did spill her coffee trying not to run into him hot cup first.

She was putting on her makeup when she heard him call the kids for breakfast and it made warmth spread out through her belly. So had waking up in his arms. During the night they'd turned and ended up spooned together with his big hand anchoring her to him. She'd forgotten what it was like to wake up with someone and packed away the feeling of being pressed against a totally male body first thing in the morning. She remembered the tiny thrill she got when she felt Jack half hard behind her and how she'd resisted the urge to press into him and find out if she could make him even harder before waking him up.

"Sam!" he called out as she smoothed on the final touch of lipstick. "Your bagel is getting cold!"

"Coming!" She gave herself a once over in the mirror, dressed in civvies until she got to the base and had to change, she'd put more care into her appearance than she normally did and she knew it was because of the man in the kitchen. Even if they had already danced around one another in the kitchen in their pajamas, she wanted him to like what he saw when he saw her. She was pleased, at least, to see he'd made use of his PJs even if he hadn't needed them throughout the night.

She flicked off the bathroom light and made her way to the kitchen where she saw the kids and Jack gathered around the kitchen island eating their breakfast and she saw a plate with half a bagel smothered in cream cheese. She was glad to see he'd apparently split the bagel with her because she wouldn't really be ready for food until mid-morning when she'd raid the baked goods line in the commissary for a muffin. But he liked breakfast and it was important the kids ate, and he _had_ fixed the bagel up just the way she liked it so she dug in.

She was in the hallway sorting through her purse looking for her cell phone when she heard it.

"Uncle Jack, will you be here tonight?" Ben asked just as naturally as if it was something he always said.

Jack's answer was as smooth as could be, as if he hadn't been bowled over by the new title bestowed upon him so casually. "Not tonight. I'm leaving town for a few days."

"Oh. Well, will you be back in time to take me to Navigators?"

"Not this week, but next week."

"Oh," she could hear the frown in the little boy's voice. "Okay."

"Hey, we talked about this, right? Aunt Sam will take you and you'll have a good time."

"I know."

"Then chin up," Jack said quietly and she assumed she wasn't supposed to hear, "or you might hurt her feelings and you don't want to do that."

"No," the boy said earnestly.

Whatever was said after that was lost on her because she found herself tossing around the idea of _Uncle Jack_ a bit more than maybe she should. It made her think about a future that might not be too far off. It made her think about permanence and whether or not it was something he wanted. He didn't seem to be in this thing for the short haul, but how would she know for certain? They'd spent one night together. It was hardly a declaration of forever. Though, he'd shown his desire to stick around by making the offer to take the kids. But in any case, it was too soon to be thinking about forever. But she couldn't help it, not after hearing Ben call him Uncle Jack.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was too soon to be thinking about forever. But as he drove into the mountain, alone in the quiet cab of his truck, he said the words out loud, "Uncle Jack." He liked the sound of that. He liked what it implied about him and Sam. But they'd spent one night together – granted it was one night after seven years of building the thing that was between them, but it was important to remember that they'd spent the last couple of years putting space between them. But the truth was, he really was already thinking about permanent, and had been since he'd offered to take the kids if something happened to her.

However, he needed to play things by ear, see how they went, not push. He thought about waking up that morning with her in his arms, the feel of her satiny skin slipping against his, the warmth of her belly where his hand anchored her to him, the feel of the cheeks of her ass cradling the beginnings of an erection... he grinned at that. That had been sweet. And he thought about what it would be like to wake up that way every morning. Or, he grimaced when he thought of going off world in a few hours, waking up that way every morning he was on Earth.

He wished she could have been standing there when Ben dropped his little bombshell and that he could have seen her face to know how she reacted to such an idea, but she'd been in the hall. He had no doubt that she could have overheard the child, as he hadn't exactly lowered his voice to ask his question. But damn how he wished he knew what she was thinking. Was it good? Or was she now running scared?

Later, before he had to go gear up for his thirteen hundred embarkation, he stopped by her lab to find her deeply involved in some piece of machinery that had come back from some planet or the other – he was sure there was a memo somewhere on his desk about it. "Hey Sam?" he said from the doorway, quietly enough that if she was _really_ involved she wouldn't even hear him.

She looked up and a smile split her mask of concentration. "Hey."

"It's about time for gear up. I just wanted to say..." He wasn't sure what he wanted to say? Goodbye? Don't worry about things while I'm gone? _I love you?_

But she didn't need to hear the actual words. Her smile softened, her eyes glittered and she said, softly, for his ears only, "Yeah."

He took a step into the lab. "Three days out." He said it like it hadn't happened before. But, then again, it hadn't happened since he shared a bed with her and it felt a little strange to have climbed into bed with her one night and then be leaving her bed so soon afterwards.

"When you get back..." she said, then she gave him a saucy smile. The effect was ruined by her blush but it endeared her to him more than her bravado alone would have.

"Oh yeah." He wished he'd kissed her goodbye that morning before they each left the house because now he'd missed his chance. "We'll figure something out."

"Yes," she said surely, "we will."

He dropped his gaze to her lips, then back up to her eyes. She did the same. And suddenly he felt like he had just kissed her. He gave her a wide, toothy smile as he backed out of the room. "See you in a few days."

"Stay safe," she said in a way she'd have never said if she were still going out with them.

"Pshaw," he said with a wave of his hand and a wink before he disappeared from her view.


	14. Chapter 13

"When does Uncle Jack get back?" Ben asked as he slid into the minivan after camp.

"Thursday," Sam said. And then, "and what's up with _Uncle_ Jack?"

The little boy just grinned from ear to ear. Sam caught Hannah's giggle in the rearview mirror as well.

"He might not want to be called that," Sam warned, though he probably wouldn't have too big a problem with it, after all, Cassie had called him Uncle Jack for years. But this time it was a loaded _uncle_. This time there was the pressure of their relationship rather than it just being a loving honorific for an adult.

"He didn't say anything."

"He wouldn't," Sam said.

"So I can't call him _Uncle_ Jack?"

"Maybe we just hold that one in reserve for a while," Sam said pragmatically.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Jack!" Ben said enthusiastically when Jack walked into Sam's house on Friday evening.

He was momentarily taken aback – before he went off-world he'd been upgraded to _Uncle_ and now, not so much. He mentally shrugged, wondered for a moment if Sam had said something, and greeted the boy in return. "Ben!"

"Aunt Sam says we can go bowling tonight."

With only one more week of summer vacation, Jack had been hoping they'd be able to get away for the weekend and go camping again, but Sam had to work the following day. There were no teams scheduled to embark or return so it was the perfect time for her to run a twelve hour diagnostic that she had to babysit from start to finish. He figured bowling was as good a night out as any, especially since she'd want to be home at a decent hour.

He looked up when he heard footsteps coming down the hall and there stood Sam in a red top and blue jeans and she looked like sin. He let out a low whistle that made her blush. He crossed to her and kissed her, full on the mouth, right in front of the kids – to their delight and/or mortification if the giggles and groans were anything to go by. She was grasping the front of his shirt when he released her and her cheeks were even more flushed than they had been by the blush. Her eyes were a dark blue and he suddenly wished they weren't going bowling at all.

She cleared her throat, released his shirt and ran her hand down his chest to his belly before taking a half a step back. She smiled at him and said, "Did the kids tell you we're going bowling?"

She wanted his brain to work? After looking like she looked with the clothes and the blush and then that kiss? He shook his head to clear it. "Yeah."

"That okay with you?"

"Of course," he said and took a step back from her, her perfume, he decided, was intoxicating.

"I know you just got here, but we should go before the lanes fill up."

He looked at his watch. It was only eighteen thirty, but if she was worried, they'd go ahead and go. Besides, she _did_ want to get home early. He would too if he had to be on base at zero six hundred.

"Okay then," he said and clapped his hands together, "let's take my truck."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sam shrugged into her sleep shirt just as Jack pushed her bedroom door open. She turned to face him as she did up the buttons and watched how his eyes followed the movements of her fingers.

"Well, I didn't time that right at all."

She grinned at him. "Maybe next time."

In the privacy of her bedroom he growled lowly and crossed to her in three large strides. She was in his arms and his lips were on her neck before she even knew what hit her. His hands were everywhere and then suddenly cupping one breast through soft cotton and she gasped as she felt her nipple tighten under his touch.

He groaned into her skin and dragged his lips from her neck, across her jaw and to her mouth. He plundered her mouth with his tongue and she met him stroke for stroke. He felt incredibly hot when she put her hands on him, tucking her fingers between his skin and the waistband of his pants. He pushed his hips towards her, asking for her touch. She obliged him. She uncurled the fingers of one hand from his waistband and slid her hand down the fly of his pants. He was hard beneath her hand and it made her flood with wetness to know she'd done this to him so quickly.

He thrust into her hand and she tightened her grip around his as best she could in the awkward position and with his clothing still between them. He reached for the button on his pants, his fingers tangling with hers. He'd pushed his pants off and pulled her hands to the waistband of his boxer shorts and was helping her slip them down her hips when she said, "Wait!" against his mouth.

He pulled his head back and she saw the wide, unfocused look in his eyes. "What?"

"The kids," she said quietly.

He groaned. "Right."

"I know you think it's silly, but I just can't, not with them in the house. Not the first time. I'll get better, I promise, but I just can't yet."

He stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side then straightened his boxers. "Look, tomorrow when Janet comes to take the kids, I'll ask her if she can keep them for the night."

"We can't ask her to do that."

"Yes," he said unequivocally, "we can. She's our friend. And she's a parent. She'll understand."

"You are _not_ going to tell her we want her to take the kids so we can have sex!" she hissed.

"It's not going to take her much to figure out why we want a night to ourselves, Sam."

"I haven't exactly talked to her about _us_ yet."

"Well, you're not going to have to roll that one out as gently as you might have had to before."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," he said with a firm nod, "yes, I am."

She leaned in and kissed him gently. "Okay."

"Yeah?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Jack answered Sam's door and couldn't help but chuckle at Janet's surprised face. "Colonel O'Neill!" she exclaimed. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Sam had to be on base at oh dark thirty this morning."

"She should have said. She could have dropped the kids off."

"It's no big deal," he said and he watched as Janet's sharp eyes ran down his body to his bare feet.

"I see," she said slowly and with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Listen, you want to do us a favor?"

"Us?"

Jack ignored the question. "Any chance you can keep the kids overnight?"

He could see the way she bit the inside of her cheek as she checked a smile. "I suppose I could do that."

He stepped back and let her into the house. "Thank you. I'll just tell the kids to pack a bag."

Janet nodded and apparently lost her ability not to smile. Jack rolled his eyes as he sauntered down the hallway. "Guys? You're going to stay overnight at Cassie's house, okay?"

"Really?" Hannah said coming to the doorway of her room. She sounded excited. Jack was glad. He'd have likely backed down if the kids had sounded reticent and then he'd have to deal with Sam shutting him down _again_. Not that he wasn't willing to wait until she was comfortable, but they were both on the sharp edge of _ready_. Really, this night was for both of them.

Back in the entryway, Janet was standing there fiddling with her keys. "I take it you don't want them back too early," she said cheekily.

"How about we come pick them up?"

Her smile blew wide. "Okay."

"You sure you're okay with this?"

Her smile melted into sincerity. "Yeah, of course."

"Thanks. I owe you one."

She shrugged him off. "Consider this a freebie for all the times you kept Cassie for me."

"You got it." He said with a smile.

Soon the kids came thundering down the hallway. "Hi, Dr. Fraiser," the kids said almost simultaneously.

"You two ready to go?"

"Yep!" Hannah said. "Wait... Cassie's going to be there, right?" She looked at Jack then at Janet as if it might be a trick.

"Yes," Janet reassured the girl, "Cassie is going to be there."

"Awesome."

"Awesome," Jack said in response.

"Thanks again," Jack said as Janet herded the kids out to her car.

"Anytime!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Sam got home he had dinner ready. He sat her down at the dining room table with a plate of pasta and a glass of wine he had to have gone out for.

"This is delicious," she said after a less than delicate bite that reminded her that while she'd gotten a lot of work done that day, she hadn't exactly stopped to eat.

He chuckled lowly and it hit her square in her almost empty gut. The kids were at Janet's. For the night. That meant... there was no more teasing. She was surprised he had the foresight to make dinner. She'd probably have just jumped him when he walked through the door if the shoe was on the other foot. When she told him that he said, "I thought about it. But then I realized you probably hadn't eaten all day and you're going to need your stamina for what I have in mind." They made her blush, his words, even though she'd been bold just moments before.

After dinner she told him she wanted a shower _before_. He gave her an enigmatic smile and sent her off to her bathroom. She was surprised and pleased to find flowers sitting on the bathroom counter, candles on the edge of the tub along with a wineglass. He sauntered into the room just a minute behind her with the bottle of wine in his hand.

"How about a bath?"

"Wow, Jack."

The serene smile on his face faltered. "Good wow or too much wow?"

She took his face between her hands and kissed him gently, suckling lightly on his fuller bottom lip. "Good wow. This is... just what I needed."

"Well, you have your bath, slip into your robe, and then we'll see where the night takes us." He poured the wine into her glass. "Take your time. We've got all night." He gave her one more smile and then backed out of the room.

She looked at her watch. It was just past nineteen thirty. They did, indeed, have all night. She decided to take her time in the bath – she wanted to be soft and warm and ready for him – and pulled out some musky bath oils from underneath her bathroom sink. She turned on the taps then poured a healthy dollop into the steaming water.

By the time the tub was full she'd shucked her clothing and it didn't take her long at all to sink into the warm, welcoming water. She reclined in the tub and closed her eyes, savoring the first moments when the heat of tub sank into her skin. She bathed herself slowly between sips of the decadent red wine and made sure every inch of her skin was perfumed with the bath oil. She hoped he'd like it. The oils always made her feel sexy and that was exactly how she wanted to feel when she went to bed with him. The hot bath and wine were going a long way towards priming her body for him.

Finally, after more than half an hour, when the water started to cool, she climbed out of the tub. She dried herself slowly and thoroughly and then slid into the silk bathrobe she hardly ever wore. She looked at herself in the mirror, her cheeks were flushed and her skin looked soft, the silk dripped off her body, she felt like she was ready to seduce him.

When she opened the door to the bedroom it was to see him lying on the bed, arms behind his head, waiting. She gasped, she hadn't been prepared to see him there. She felt a rush of tingles cascade down her body at the sight of him. "Have you been there long?"

"Just since I knew you were in there... naked."

"So... the whole time?" she gave him a cheeky smile.

He shrugged one shoulder then beckoned her over to him with a hand. She wanted more than his hand, she wanted to feel him beneath her, between her thighs. She climbed onto the bed and knelt astride him, her knees on either side of his hips. One long, smooth thigh peeked out from between halves of her midnight blue robe. His eyes, which had widened when she slid into position, fell to the exposed skin and his hand followed, running from her knee up, up her body until it disappeared beneath the silk. He kept his big, warm palm on her thigh, though, didn't reach for anything else, or tease her in any way. His other hand slid up her covered thigh and she could feel the heat of him through the silk.

His hands, after just a moment, slid from thigh to hip and he pulled her, coaxed her up his body until she was poised over him the way they both wanted. She settled down on him carefully letting the beginnings of his jeans-clad erection nestle into her folds. He removed the hand that was on her skin and toyed with the ties of her robe. "I knew you'd look great in this thing."

"Is this the part where you tell me I'd look better out of it?"

He chuckled and she could feel the vibration all the way down to where they were joined together and she felt another tingle that signaled wetness and she was momentarily self conscious about the front of his jeans. "While I have no doubt about that, you look really hot in blue silk."

She brought her hands up to cover his where it was fiddling with the tie to her robe. She grasped each end and began to pull. "I like this robe."

"Me too," he said, his voice raspy as the silk ties slid through one another and the front halves of the robe relaxed against her chest. His eyes dipped down. Hers followed and she could see a sliver of skin between her breasts. She knew all it would take would be a little movement and the entire front of the robe would open leaving her bare to his view. The thought titillated her.

He lifted a hand and rubbed a knuckle over the exposed skin of her chest. She shivered with the contact. "You can touch me," she said and cursed the way her voice was quiet and a little begging.

He moved his hand over to cup one breast through the silk. Her nipple hardened in his hand and felt herself flood wet at the feeling of him. "Jack," she said and then had to say his name again when he was still focused on her breast, "Jack." He looked at her, almost startled. "I need to move."

"Why?" he looked almost adorably confused.

She made a vague gesture at where she was soaking into his pants. He ignored her and pushed his hands inside her robe to grasp her waist. The silk slid against her skin and then fell down her arms exposing her completely to his gaze. His eyes darkened at the sight of her breasts. He palmed one first and then the other one, always keeping one hand on her waist, gently caressing her skin. She could feel the way his calluses scratched over her and it made her nipples tingle. Her breasts felt heavy and needy and of their own volition, her hands slid up her body to cup her breasts and take the weight of them. His hand fell away and she squeezed her flesh as he groaned his appreciation. His hands fell back to her hips as he watched her work her hands over her body.

He waited until he'd learned what she liked and then gently pushed her hands out of the way and recreated the sensations her sure hands had produced. She dug her nails into her thighs with the pleasure of it and she was still so aware of the way his jeans were wet between them. She wriggled her hips a little. Her slickness caused her to slip against him and feel the harder ridge of his erection trapped between them. She hadn't felt him grow hard but in that moment it felt like heaven and when she caught the hood of her clit on the fly of his pants, she gasped.

His hands fell back to her hips and he pressed her down onto him and she inhaled sharply then exhaled on a moan. He dropped one hand down to where she rode against him and pressed his fingers between them. He groaned. "Do you have any idea how hot that is?"

She was blissed out at the feelings he was creating in her so she had to ask, "What is?"

"How wet you are."

"I'm all over your pants," she said idly.

"I know," he returned and he sounded pretty pleased by that.

"Jack, please," she moaned as his fingers kept nudging the neediest part of her but not giving her any real relief.

Suddenly, his hands reached around her and grasped her ass. He lifted her slightly causing her breath to catch, but he was sliding down the bed beneath her until she was hovering over his mouth. She could feel the warmth of his breath and it made all the pleasure in her body drain into her center where it pooled deep. She leaned back against his hands and his fingers dug into the taut muscles of her backside as he bumped her clit with his nose. He toyed with her for long moments and seemed to be breathing her in. She made a needy noise in the back of her throat hoping to spur him on, then felt his tongue between her folds. She felt like she was melting into his mouth, she struggled to hold herself upright. He heaved a mighty groan. She worried for a moment that she'd hurt him and just as she was considering moving his hands clenched on her body and anchored her against his face.

He sucked her clit into his mouth and laved it with a flat tongue. Her head dropped back and she leaned back on one hand against him, her fingers digging into the jean that was pulled tight by his erection. Her fingers dug in further as his sensual assault continued. He was flicking his tongue against her opening then pulling it along her slick flesh to her clit where he'd do something she'd never experienced nor could describe but that made a keening noise erupt from her.

He brought her all the way to the edge with just his tongue before he tipped her off of him unceremoniously and she found herself sprawled flat on her back with her robe twisted under her and her body splayed open to his view. He took the time to look. From his place over her, one hand braced on the bed for balance, he trailed his free hand over her skin from collarbone, to her breasts, around her nipples, down to her belly button and then across her clit and then inside her. Her hips pushed up off the bed to increase their contact, to try to get him deeper inside and she knew in that moment it wasn't going to be enough until he slid his cock inside her.

"Jack," she said breathlessly.

He looked up at her with dark eyes.

"Please."

He maneuvered himself until his face loomed over hers. "Don't move," he said authoritatively then kissed her deeply. She could taste the tangy remnants of his feast on his tongue. He backed off the bed and stood there, looking at her with a deep, unfathomable look in his eye. She pushed herself up into a sitting position when she saw his concentration break. "I thought I said don't move."

"I-"

"Do I have to make it an order?" he asked. There might have been the twitch of a smile around his mouth, but she heard her Colonel clearly. She wasn't usually one for lying back and letting things happen, but she was suddenly very sure she wanted to know exactly how he led on this particular battlefield.

"No, sir," she said slyly and then slowly settled herself back onto bed. She catalogued him from head to hips. She could see the dark, wet spot on the front of his jeans as his long fingers popped the button and dragged the zipper down. He tore his shirt over his head as his pants sagged on his hips and then he was pushing his jeans and boxers to the floor. She barely got a chance to get a good look at him before he was stretched out on the bed next to her, his erection pressing against the soft skin of her thigh.

Then his fingers were back between her legs working magic between her opening and her clit. He worked her into a state of near oblivion before he shifted them. She felt the silk under her slide against her back as he maneuvered her into the position he wanted. She hated the way she was loving being manhandled by him. He hadn't said all that much to her, hell, she hadn't said much to him, but his movements spoke volumes. She caught his eye. He was deep in the moment, his dark eyes probing hers, strong and sure.

He positioned himself over her and she wrapped her thighs around his hips trying to drag him down to her. She wanted to feel him so badly she heard herself whimper when he used his superior strength to remain poised above her.

"Slow down," he said to her.

"But-"

She didn't even get to protest. "We'll do this my way."

It thrilled her the way he shifted back into the role of commander. He dropped his head to her neck and snaked his tongue out to lick the sensitive place behind her jaw just under her ear. She shuddered and felt another rush of wetness as pleasure unfurled inside of her. Okay, maybe his slow way wasn't so bad. As she was uncoiling from the feelings his tongue was producing he surprised her by pressing the head of his cock against her opening then pushing, ever so slowly, inside her.

She moaned as he slid all the way inside. She could feel the way their pelvises snugged up against one another when he was fully seated. He rolled his hips into her without withdrawing and pressed into her clit just the way she needed before pulling out and then pushing in slowly once more. He continued for long minutes until she felt pleasure start to coil low in her belly. "More," she panted against his ear. He picked up the pace just enough to make her body think he was going to take her all the way, but he never changed his motion and it wasn't enough. She slid her hands down his body, felt the sweat that had broken over his skin which seemed to spur him on.

He surged into her, a strong motion that rocked her against the bed. She made a happy, wanton sound and he repeated the motion again and again until she was begging him to please, please make her come. It had been too much for too long with no release. He propped himself up on his hands so he was above her and could drive into her. His pace was relentless and she reached between them to circle her own fingers around her clit as she felt him begin to falter. She could tell between his thrusts and the wild look on his face that he was as close as she was. He was holding out for her, she could tell by the steel in his eyes as she rubbed fast, tight rings around her bundle of nerves.

Suddenly, she felt the fire inside begin to consume her and her body tensed and curled in on itself, the force of her orgasm so powerful it pulled her body up into his. He caught her mouth with his, licking her bottom lip as she groaned through the pleasure and pain of her long awaited release. She had just relaxed under him, her body depleted of everything it had to give when she felt him tense and then press into her so hard with a groan that the force of it could have rattled the walls. He emptied himself into her, his face pressed into the heated flesh of her neck, groaning her name long and low. As his hips jerked she could feel the way his tongue flicked against her skin and she felt the beginnings of interest low in her belly again but she knew she was as done as he was for the moment.

He lifted himself off her with what appeared to be great effort and pulled out of her body. She hissed at the feeling of being empty again after having been so full and he canted over onto his side. He ran his fingers down between her breasts through the sweat that had accumulated there. "God," he said.

"That was..."

"Intense," he offered when she couldn't produce an adjective from her jellied brain.

"Yeah."

She rolled her head to look at him and he smiled. "And just think... we still have all night."

"Next time, I'm in charge," she said reaching for him and encountering his warm, sweaty skin.

He grinned at her, "Yes, ma'am."


	15. Chapter 14

"Ben's birthday is on Thursday," Sam said as Jack trailed a finger down her bare arm.

"You've been thinking about Ben's birthday?" he asked incredulously.

"Not for the last several hours, no, but generally, yes," she said and smoothed his ruffled feathers by trailing a hand across his chest and reveling in the feel of his chest hair against her palm. She was right all that time ago in California – it was soft. She turned her body into his snugging her body up against him.

He situated them so that she was resting her head on one shoulder and had one thigh thrown over his. "What are you thinking?"

"Cake, ice cream, presents..."

"Maybe at my place?"

"For the telescope," she remembered Ben's request, "yeah."

"What are you going to get him?"

"He made a list," she said offhandedly. She actually hadn't had to try to get too awfully creative. The kid knew exactly what he wanted and he wasn't going overboard with his requests so she figured why not?

"What do you think I should get him?"

"You don't have to-"

"Sam, please," he said with exasperation.

"I don't know..."

"How about a telescope of his own?"

"I kind of like having the excuse to go to your place. I like it there," she said, feeling shy about the admission. "I always have."

"Well, it's not like it'll be as powerful as mine, we'd still have an excuse to spend some time over there."

She was a little sad at the idea that if they were going to be together they were going to have to do it at her house. Because she really did love his house. And she knew he loved it too. Not that he wouldn't go home sometimes, but she hoped he _wouldn't_ go home quite a bit, too. She was torn.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"Your house."

"Why?"

"You love that house."

"Yeah," he said slowly, encouraging her to continue.

"But I hope you want to be here, too."

He squeezed his arm around her, "Of course I do."

"But you'll want to be there, too."

"Carter," he said sharply, reminding her quite a bit of the man he'd been when he was her commanding officer, "what's this about?"

She rubbed a circle on his chest and he reached up and covered her hand with his own to still her movements. She looked up at his face to find an eyebrow raised at her in question. "I just... I really like your house and I know you do too and I don't want you to regret not being there because you're here with me."

He blew out a breath she could tell he'd been holding, waiting for the worst. Then, he chuckled. "It's just a house, Sam."

"It's not _just a house._ It's your home."

"Yeah, maybe it is," he said pragmatically, "but I enjoy being here with you, too. I can go home whenever I want. This thing with you is new enough that I would rather be here with you. Honestly, I'm not even sure it's a newness thing. I'd probably always want to be here with you."

"Well, I'd rather be at your house," she said huffily. "You've got better property."

"At the risk of thinking too far into the future," he started slowly, "if you're so dead set on my house, why don't we just add on to it?"

She pushed up off him and sat up. The sheets fell away from her skin and she watched as his eyes drifted down to her chest. She rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. He looked back up at her sheepishly. "You'd do that?"

"Well, yeah," he said, shrugging as best he could considering he was still lying down.

She knew she was beaming, but that solved everything, in her head at least. He looked a little bewildered and she was sure it was because he didn't think it would be so easy to assuage whatever it was she was feeling. She leaned down and kissed him. "Thank you. I mean, we're talking about the future here, but that makes me feel a lot better."

"You do realize you just told me you want to live together," he said with a grin and then poked her in the ribs.

"In the future," she qualified. "If this works out."

"We've been together a minute and half and you've already thought about it," he teased.

She crossed her arms under her breasts, drawing his attention again, but she continued, "Oh, and you haven't?"

"Sam," he said, suddenly serious, "I've been thinking about it for years." He grabbed her arm and pulled her down, sprawled across him. "Now, I believe it's my turn to be in charge again..."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Ben's birthday went off without a hitch. The boy seemed to enjoy the cookout and subsequent stargazing. Sam had found herself, mid afternoon, standing in the backyard contemplating an expansion and, when caught by Jack, blushed thoroughly when he'd said "See? Plenty of room."

"Hawthorne sprained his ankle," Jack said idly that night while the kids were taking turns looking through the telescope.

"Um... I'm sorry to hear that?"

He chuckled. "That means SG-1 is on downtime for a few days, then off the mission rotation until he's better."

"Okay."

He nudged her in the ribs with his elbow. "So... you wanna do something tomorrow?"

"I have the day off so I can get the kids registered for school," she reminded him.

"That's not going to take all day."

"I have no idea how long it's going to take," she said.

"An hour? At most, assuming you've got all their paperwork."

"Oh."

"So, yeah, you wanna do something tomorrow?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, something normal. Like take the kids to the movies."

"They just went to a camp where they saw a movie every day."

He frowned adorably. "Okay, then something else."

"We could take them to Denver. Go to the zoo?"

"Yeah," he said with a nod of his head. "The zoo."

"Don't you think we should ask them if they _want_ to go?" she said, a smile on her lips.

"C'mon, Sam, what kid wouldn't want to go to the zoo," he said loudly enough to be overheard by the kids.

"The zoo?" Hannah perked up.

"Really?" asked Ben.

"So I take it that's a yes to the zoo?" Sam asked.

"Yes!" both children cried.

"Okay then, the zoo it is," Jack said.

As she settled back to watch the kids look through the telescope and chatter about the upcoming zoo trip, she realized how much her life had changed over the course of one summer. She'd really thought she was perfectly happy with her life, and really, she had been. She had a job she loved and a life that really suited her. Sure, it had hurt to have to put off her personal life because the man she loved was out of her reach, but it was a small price to pay to get to step through the Stargate each week.

But then, then she'd been forced into the role of caregiver and she realized that, while she had been happy, there were other kinds of happiness out there, too. That maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to judge her brother's life as too simple to keep her interested. Having the kids had been anything but simple, and that was even without taking into account their emotional states. She couldn't say she wouldn't change it for the world, because she'd rather her brother had lived and gotten to raise his own children, but she had no regrets about taking the children when it became necessary, absolutely none.

She'd thought she might regret the decision when stepping through the Stargate became something she didn't do. But the truth was, there was still plenty on base to keep her occupied. And there was the thought that she might go offworld again one day. Maybe, even, on a front line team in ten years once the children were older and on their own. She'd still be young enough, and if Jack could do it...

And then there was Jack, getting to start a relationship with him was the icing on the cake of her new life. She'd thought they'd missed their chance, and before that she thought they were years away from even having a chance. But in the end, she'd only had to wait seven years, because the truth was, she'd known from the moment she met him that she was going to have a problem. And then, as she'd gotten to know him, it just became more and more clear to her that she was going to fall for him, and fall for him hard.

By the time they'd had to admit to their feelings out loud, she was past the point of no return. And then, as the years passed and they'd had to bottle up how they felt... it was true she'd never stopped loving him. She'd just sublimated all her desires until she was only a sliver of the person she'd been when she'd loved him wholly. Nothing but the Stargate had held the same appeal to her once she'd started stuffing the way she felt about him into a box. And the Stargate held its appeal not just because it was what it was, but also because it was what let her continue to relate to him in some way.

"Penny for your thoughts," he broke into her reverie.

"Just thinking about how much has changed. And," she turned and looked into his eyes, "how much I love you." She held her breath for a moment because they hadn't said it yet, and while it was true, and had been true for a long time, maybe it was too soon to say it.

He kissed her. Then he trailed his lips across her cheekbone to her ear and said, "I love you, too," in a tone of voice that made her shiver with desire.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When they got back to her house after the trip the zoo, there was a message waiting on her answering machine. There'd been an offer on her brother and Angie's house. It was a good offer. The real estate agent had suggested she take it when she called back. Sam promised to think it over and call back that evening.

Her brother's life insurance had paid off the mortgage and the house was worth much more than he'd bought it for ten years previous so she found that she was sitting on quite the nest egg. She could put it away for the kids' college and then that was one less thing to worry about.

She mulled over what it meant to be selling the house, though, and what it might mean to the kids. That was the only house they'd ever known, even if her brother and Angie had lived in a tiny little apartment when they'd first had Hannah. They were settling in with her nicely, but she wondered if the selling of the house would be just one thing too many.

So she sat them down that evening, Jack at her side, to tell them that someone had made an offer on the house. Hannah seemed relatively okay, if a little quiet about the idea of the house being sold, but Ben didn't quite understand. "Does that mean we can't go back and visit."

"It'll be someone else's house now, so no," Sam said.

"Oh. Well, can we go one more time?"

Sam shook her head slowly, "I'm afraid not. If we accept this offer things will move quickly and you guys will be at the beginning of a new school year. There won't be time."

"What about the rest of mom and dad's stuff?" Hannah wanted to know.

"We've brought all the sentimental stuff with us. The rest will be sold in something called an estate sale."

"But what if there's something we want?"

"You just need to speak up," Sam assured her. "We can have things shipped here."

"I want mom's jewelry box."

"Okay," Sam said. That seemed reasonable to her. "Anything else?"

Hannah shook her head after a long moment of thinking.

"Ben?" Sam asked

Ben just shook his head, too.

"So you two are okay with this?"

"What if we say no?" Hannah wanted to know.

"Then we keep talking about it."

"But the house has to be sold?"

"Yes," Sam said and kept her voice firm rather than injecting the sympathy into it that she desperately wanted to. Next to her, Jack put his hand on the small of her back and rubbed small circles of support.

"Then I guess it's okay," Hannah finally said.

"Ben?" Sam asked.

"Okay."

"Okay, then. I'll call the Realtor back."

So Sam did, while her family sat there and watched her. The Realtor promised to fax the contract and explained that the property closing would be done by overnight mail and that was that.

Jack sent the kids off to play while the two of them cooked dinner.

"Are _you_ okay with selling the house?" Jack asked her.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," he said as if he had a litany of reasons she might not be okay.

"I'm okay, Jack." She said making sure to give him an honest, reassuring smile.

He smiled at her, reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and went back to chopping vegetables for a mixed vegetable medley.

"So, school starts on Monday, we've got to go shopping this weekend." She looked at Jack only to see him grimace. "Don't worry, I wasn't going to ask you to come."

"I would if you needed me to," he defended.

"That's very sweet," she said, "but unnecessary."

"Thank god."

She giggled. He threw her a smile and seemed to be unable to resist the urge to press a kiss to her lips. "Today was a good day," he said his lips still close enough to brush hers as he spoke.

And it had been. They'd gone to the school first thing, registered the children, and he was right – it had taken less than an hour to get them enrolled and get their supply lists from the administrative secretary. Then they'd made the hour drive up to Denver and spent the rest of the morning and the early afternoon watching the kids squeal with excitement over each new exhibit. Then, they'd come home, together, and were spending an evening as a family.

And, she felt it in her gut, a new sense of possessiveness now that the California house was being sold. Like it was the last vestige of the hold that California had over the kids and finally that tie had been severed. It was almost like they were wholly hers now, though they had been as soon as the judge had made his decree all those weeks ago. She couldn't explain why the selling of the house made such a big difference inside her, but it did. It made everything seem so much more permanent.

When dinner was ready, the four of them sat down together and she watched as Jack and the kids talked and laughed and teased and she realized that they hadn't just spent the day like a family they were a family that Jack was quickly becoming a part of. Maybe he'd been a part all along since he'd shown up in California with her father and insinuated himself as the rock she'd needed even before she'd realized she was going to need a rock.

"Aunt Sam, pass the potatoes, please," Hannah said, shaking Sam from her thoughts.

"What's that smile for?" Jack wanted to know.

"Nothing," she said and gave him a reassuring smile.

"You don't smile about nothing," Hannah said helpfully. "You smile about something."

"Well, I was just thinking, that's all."

"About what?" Ben asked.

"About family."

Jack gave her a soft smile and his eyes, his deep brown eyes, twinkled at her.

"Hey Uncle Jack," Ben said loudly to Sam's ears, "would you pass the chicken?"

And Sam, despite everything that still had to be navigated, decided not to correct him.

 

~The End~


End file.
